Love Is Enough
by xx-dani-leigh-xx
Summary: Meredith finds her marriage to New York's top plastic surgeon falling apart so in an effort to heal herself and 4 year old daughter she returns to her family in seattle. Will her husband follow her and what happens if he does?
1. Time Out

Welcome everyone to my new story! Unlike my others I other completed stories I will unable to update everyday, my life has gotten a lot busier but please stick with it and as always reviews are very much loved. On with chapter one. Dani xx

**CHAPTER ONE: TIME OUT**

Meredith Grey looked beside her to the sleeping child. A small silent tear escaped her sad green eyes as she watched her 3 - almost 4 year old daughter sleeping. She looked so innocent as she slept, so unfazed by what was happening around her.

Meredith listened as they announced their flight to Seattle would soon be landing. She looked at the little girl again, wishing she didn't have to wake her and subject her to more of the confusion she had been feeling since they had left their home back in New York.

Meredith softly shook the little girl and smiled as her green eyes fluttered open and met her mothers matching green eyes.

"Hi Tilly, did you have a good nap?" Meredith asked her daughter as she brushed her hair away from her eyes.

The little girl simply nodded as she rubbed her eyes. She looked around the aeroplane slightly confused until she remembered they were going on a little holiday as her mother had told her.

"We are going to land soon so you have to get ready to sit up in your seat with your seatbelt on" Meredith told her as she checked to make sure the seatbelt was wrapped around her tiny frame firmly.

"Are we going to see Nana and Pop?" the small child asked softly as the plane began to descend.

"Yeah we are, is that okay?" Meredith asked as she confirmed what the little girl had asked.

"I guess so, will they still come to New York for my birfday?" she asked suddenly worried about her upcoming birthday.

"We'll have to see about that one" Meredith told her as she turned to look out the window. The chances of them returning to New York in the next few weeks were rather slim.

"Okay" the small girl replied seeing the upset look on Meredith's face she knew not to push it any further.

After what seemed like hours waiting for their bags and getting a rental car to go to the hotel they would be staying at temporarily to unload all their stuff they made their way to Seattle Grace Hospital. Meredith let out a sigh as the sliding doors opened for them to enter into the lobby. It had been a while since she had stepped foot in the hospital.

As soon as they had stepped foot onto their desired floor Meredith looked around noticing nothing had really changed since she had last visited. Meredith continued to look around waiting to see if she could see anyone she knew. She took her eyes off Tilly for just a moment and before she knew it she taken off up the corridor of the hospital.

"MATILDA ELIZABETH…" Meredith began to call out after the little girl before she bumped into a familiar figure.

"Meredith what are you doing here?" the concerned and surprised voice of Richard Webber.

Meredith took one look at him before launching into his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around him as small tears escaped from her eyes.

"Oh Daddy" she cried into the older man's chest. Richard Webber was only her step father but he had been more of father to her than Thatcher Grey had been.

"Meredith sweetheart what's happened?" Richard asked even more concerned over his daughter's appearance since her sudden outburst.

"It's all a big mess" Meredith replied softly looking up at her father.

Before Richard could ask Meredith to elaborate another familiar figure had joined the pair.

"Matilda! Don't run off like that again" Meredith lectured her daughter as she took her out of the other person's arms and into her own.

"It's okay Mommy, Uncle Dewek had me" the little girl replied with a giggle.

"Meredith what are you doing her?" Derek asked as he gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm waiting for her to answer the same question" Richard chipped in still none the wiser to why his step daughter had shown up in Seattle without so much as a phone call. "Is Mark with you?" Richard asked.

Meredith shook her head in reply tears welling again in her eyes that usually shone with happiness.

"Daddy has been bad so he is staying in New York to have time out" Matilda repeated what Meredith had told her proudly.

"What in the hell has my brother done now?" Derek asked suddenly annoyed that Mark had done something that had clearly hurt Meredith badly. Mark was only Derek's brother in a friendly sense. Mark had never had a family and Carolyn Shepherd wouldn't have a bar of it so Mark had quickly become part of the Shepherd family. When Mark had begun seeing Meredith she also became part of the family.

"I don't want to get into it right now" Meredith replied nodding her head toward Matilda as to tell them it was something that she needed to hear about her daddy. "Where is Mom?" Meredith asked surprised that Ellis Grey-Webber had not joined the group.

"At home, it's her day off she is actually at the house relaxing for once" Richard replied understanding that Meredith wanted to change the subject.

"Oh well Tilly and I might head over there and say hello, let her know we're here" Meredith said with the smallest hint of a smile. She had hoped it would reassure everyone that she was fine but after taking in the looks on their faces she could tell they were just as worried as she head been when she first walked in.

"Where are you staying?" Richard asked.

"We have a hotel room at the Archfield" Meredith replied knowing that wouldn't do in her father's eyes.

"No way Meredith, you will stay at the house" Richard said firmly not giving her any choice.

"Okay" Meredith replied simply. "We will go get our things and then go and see Mom she said before saying goodbye to everyone and heading for the door and wandering why in the world she was in Seattle.


	2. Be Strong

**CHAPTER TWO: BE STRONG**

Ellis Grey was an intelligent woman, everyone knew that. She had changed the world of surgery for women. But when it came to raising her only child she hadn't been the best. Looking back she realised that and once Richard came into their lives she went about changing it. Meredith had been 12 when Ellis had married Richard and for the first time in her life she had had a proper family. Ellis often wondered if the childhood Meredith had had a major affect on her. There was no doubt that she was insecure and sometimes it was said that she was damaged.

Ellis walked outside as Meredith pulled up in the driveway in her rental car. Richard had called her to tell her that Meredith was in town and to warn her something was up. She couldn't help but let a small smile creep to her face at the thought of seeing her granddaughter. When she had first found out Meredith was pregnant she hadn't taken the news well. She had just begun her internship – she had her career to think about. But she was proud of the way Meredith had managed.

"Dad called didn't he" Meredith said as she got out of the car, kissing her mother on the cheek.

"Yes he did, he was worried about you Meredith" Ellis told her daughter.

"Can we at least get inside before the lecture begins" Meredith groaned.

"I'm not lecturing Meredith I just want to know what is going on" Ellis said honestly. "Now where is that granddaughter of mine?"

"She is sleeping" Meredith replied reaching into the backseat to gather the sleeping girl into her arms. "Shh" Meredith hushed as she began to stir awake.

"Take her straight upstairs and put her on my bed" Ellis said as she collected the rest of their things out of the car.

"So why are you here Meredith?" Ellis asked after making tea and ensuring that Matilda was settled upstairs. She had been making small talk with her daughter for too long and now she wanted answers.

Meredith looked up at her mother and finally broke down. She had been holding back the tears all day but now she could finally release the pain she was feeling. She wiped away the tears and took a deep breath.

"If I'm going to tell you this you can't say I told you so or that's what you get, I couldn't handle something like that right now" Meredith said looking her mother right in the eye.

"Of course sweetheart, you can tell me" Ellis said genuinely, she hadn't always been the best mother but she couldn't stand seeing her daughter so upset.

"Mark and I had been trying for another baby" Meredith began noticing the surprised look on her mother's face. "We weren't going to tell anyone until I fell. Tilly had just turned 3 I was further in on my residency it made sense" Meredith continued. "But after 6 months of waiting and nothing we got impatient and snappy toward each other, I was working more and focussing my spare time on Matilda, I guess it's kind of my fault."

"Don't ever say it was your fault Meredith, you are a strong woman, I don't know what happened but it's not your fault" Ellis stated firmly.

Fresh tears spilled down Meredith's cheeks as she continued. "2 days ago I was supposed to work late but I had found out that it's finally happened, I just wanted to go home and tell Mark. I walked in the door and called out to him, no reply. I walked up the stairs and looked in on Tilly, she was sound asleep. Then I heard a giggle from the bedroom" Meredith stopped and took a deep breath to stop herself from breaking down again.

"Oh Mer" Ellis gasped squeezing her daughter's hand knowing where this was leading.

"It was the nanny" Meredith managed as she gasped for air as sobs overtook her body. "I just grabbed Tilly and some things and walked straight out of the house" Meredith explained.

"Meredith honey" Ellis soothed as she raced around to Meredith's side of the table taking her fragile into her arms and cradling her.

"I'm having a baby and I have no idea what I'm going to do" Meredith sobbed into Ellis. "And there is Matilda to think about, how could he do this to us?" she cried.

"I know sweetheart but you have to be strong. Matilda needs her Mom and so does this baby" Ellis said holding Meredith's head in her hands so she looked at her. "We are here for you, you made the right decision coming here to us" she continued.

Meredith brushed the tears away from her now puffy red eyes. She heard soft footsteps coming down the stairs and turned to see Matilda standing there confused.

"Hey Tilly, come here" Meredith said stretching her arms out to the little girl who willing walked into them. Meredith pulled her up onto her lap and cuddled her, placing a kiss in her hair. "Are you going to say hello to Nana?" she asked the little girl.

Matilda sleepily rubbed her arms and reached out hugging Ellis. "Hello Nana" she said with a little smile.

"Hello sweetie, my you've grown" Ellis commented receiving a nod from the small girl.

"I almost this many" she said holding up 4 fingers to her grandmother. "I thirsty" she said looking at Meredith.

"Wow your getting to be a big girl now" Ellis said getting up to get her some juice. A few moments later she returned with some juice in a sippy cup for her granddaughter. She smiled as she saw the way she was snuggled into Meredith.

Matilda looked up to Meredith noting her still red eyes. "Are you sad Mommy?" she asked.

Meredith nodded. "Yeah Mommy is a little bit sad but it's going to be okay" Meredith reassured her daughter.

"Is it 'cause of daddy?" she asked still not understanding why her daddy wasn't there with them.

"Yeah it is baby, but it's going to be alright. We are going to stay here with Nana and Pop for a little while then we will see what happens" Meredith said knowing that she couldn't stop Mark from seeing Matilda, she didn't want her little girl growing up without a father like she had.


	3. New Arrangements

**CHAPTER THREE: NEW ARRANGEMENTS**

A week had passed since Meredith's arrival in Seattle, the only people who knew about her pregnancy was her mother and father. They had told her that she should call Mark and tell him the news although they were equally as angry with him over what had happened. Meredith had dialled his number several times only to hang up before he could answer. She just couldn't bring herself to do it yet.

Meredith got up off the bathroom floor and washed her face. Morning sickness had well and truly set in and it didn't seem to be going anywhere. She decided she probably needed to go see a doctor and find out how far along she was. By her own calculations she gathered she was around 6 weeks along.

"Mommy was you sick again?" Matilda asked as Meredith made her way back into the bedroom she was sharing with her young daughter.

"Yeah but its okay baby" she answered her placing a kiss on her forehead. "You better get dressed sweetheart we are going to the hospital to see Poppy" Meredith told her.

"Okay" she said jumping off the bed and looking through the suitcase to find something to wear.

An hour later Meredith hand in hand with Matilda was making her way into the hospital. They made their way up to the floor on which Richard's office was situated.

"Meredith" she heard being called from her behind her. She immediately whipped her head around a smile instantly appearing on her face when she saw who it was. As soon as he approached she wrapped her arms around him giving him a big hug.

"Preston, you're back early, Dad said you weren't coming back for another week" she said told him surprised to see her step brother. Preston had been adopted by Richard and his first wife Adele. After Adele passed away suddenly he had stayed with Richard and had become the big brother Meredith never had once Richard and Ellis had married.

"He told me everything Mer" he said with a sad smile at his step sister's pain. "How you holding up?" he asked with concern.

"I'm okay" Meredith lied looking down at her feet.

Preston hugged his little sister again tightly knowing she was just telling everyone what she thought they wanted to hear.

"What's going on?" came the snappy voice of an Asian woman from behind Meredith.

Meredith turned around and smiled knowing exactly who she was although she had never met the woman. "You must be Cristina, I've heard so much about you" Meredith said kindly looking over her shoulder to make sure Matilda was still with a doctor she had befriended.

"Yeah and who are you?" the woman snapped at her again not liking the way she was getting friendly with her fiancé.

"Cristina, don't be so rude" Preston hushed at his fiancé. "This is my sister Meredith, Meredith this is my fiancé Cristina" Preston said introducing the two.

"Oh I'm sorry" Cristina apologised holding her hand out to shake. "I've seen pictures of you and your daughter it just never clicked" Cristina explained.

"It's okay" Meredith said accepting the apology. She liked Cristina already she had a go get it attitude. "Tilly come here" Meredith said calling her away from the doctor she was talking to. "Look who is here" she said pointing to Preston.

"Uncle Presty" Matilda squealed running into this arms. He reached down and picked the small girl up and hugged her.

"You've grown so much" he noticed. "What are you now 15" he joked.

"No" Matilda replied with a stern frown. "I almost 4" she said proudly.

"I know that sweetheart, I was tricking" he told her kissing her hair. "This here is going to be your Aunty Cristina" Preston said to the little girl introducing her to Cristina.

"Hi" Cristina said to her forcing a smile. One thing that Cristina Yang didn't get involved with was kids.

"It was nice to meet you Cristina, and good to see you Preston but we have to get going, Dad is expecting us" Meredith told her brother and soon to be sister in law as she yet again took hold of Matilda's hand and carried on to Richard's office.

She gently knocked on the door upon reaching it to ensure that he didn't already have an appointment. She listened for his gruff "come in" and made her way into his office, Matilda in tow.

"Hi Dad" she said making him look up from the papers he was reading intently.

"Meredith, good you're here I was beginning to think you weren't coming" he said as Matilda ran over and settled herself on his lap.

"Sorry we bumped into Preston, you didn't say he was back" she told him.

"He only got back last night, straight back to work today" Richard answered his daughter as he handed Matilda a piece of paper and some pencils to draw with while he spoke with Meredith.

"What's up?" Meredith asked knowing there would be a serious reason to why he would ask her to come to this hospital to see him.

"I've been doing some thinking and I've spoken to your chief in New York and I'm transferring your residency to here" Richard said waiting for her reaction.

"You didn't think to ask me first?" Meredith asked surprised to hear that her father had been making arrangements for her career.

"Come on Mer, I'm helping you here, I know you have no plans on going back to New York in a hurry and I don't want to see you getting behind with your work. That is going to happen anyway when the baby is born" Richard reasoned with his usually sensible daughter.

"I know Dad, and you are right, but I just wish you would have talked to me first before going ahead and making the arrangements" she said honestly.

"I'm sorry but I'm glad you think it is best" he told her. "Have you seen a doctor yet?" he asked referring to her pregnancy.

Meredith shook her head. "I was thinking I might go see Addie, I just don't want too many people knowing about this yet, it's hard enough" she said tears threatening her eyes again.

"I know sweetheart but you'll get by" he said. "You go find Addie and I will take care of Tilly" he told her.

"Okay" Meredith replied kissing Tilly on the forehead and telling her to be a good girl for Poppy before heading off in search of Addison.


	4. Bittersweet

**CHAPTER FOUR: BITTERSWEET**

Meredith walked along the corridor of the OB/GYN floor looking for Addison. One of the nurses had said she was checking on post-op patients. She found herself standing at the window of the nursery looking at the tiny new born babies. She couldn't help letting a single tear slide down her cheek.

"Cute aren't they?" a voice came from beside Meredith causing her to jump.

"Hey Addie" Meredith greeted her friend with a small smile. "Reminds me of Tilly when she was that size" she continued softly.

"What are you doing up here anyway?" Addison asked curiously. Meredith and Addison had become friends instantly. Mark and Derek were so close that they didn't really have a choice but luckily they got along great even though they were so different.

"I was looking for you actually, have you got time for a consult?" she asked sheepishly.

"Yeah I do actually, Richard has you working already?" Addison asked surprised.

Meredith looked at Addison confused before realising what she meant. "Well yes but no not really, I haven't officially started yet" Meredith rambled.

"It's okay Mer, so where is this patient?" Addison asked.

Meredith looked at her blankly. "Ah I'm the patient" Meredith answered softly.

Addison stopped staring at her surprised not completely understanding what Meredith was saying.

"I'm pregnant" Meredith answered the blank stare that Addison was giving her. "I found out the day..." Meredith stopped and took a deep breath to prevent herself from crying before continuing. "The day I left Mark" she finished.

"Oh Mer" Addison said wrapping her arm around Meredith's slim waist and leading her to an exam room.

Meredith took some time to compose herself before beginning the ultrasound. She and Addison had spent some time talking about what happened. Surprisingly letting it all out made Meredith feel a little better.

"Ready to see that baby?" Addison asked cautiously as she got the gel ready to perform the ultrasound.

Meredith bit down on her lip and nodded anxiously. The moment was bitter sweet to her. She had wanted another baby for so long and now that she finally was it didn't seem right without Mark being there. A tear slid down Meredith's face as the image of the new life growing inside her appeared on the monitor.

"Everything looks good Mer, you're around 7 weeks, and developing nicely" Addison told Meredith, looking at her as tears streamed down her face. She wiped the gel of Meredith's stomach and pulled her shirt down before sitting down on the exam table beside her.

"I can only imagine how you must feel Mer but Mark is going to have to find out eventually. Are you going to tell him?" Addison asked.

Meredith nodded. "I will tell him, eventually. I just need more time at the moment. It's all so fresh" she replied looking up at her friend.

"I know Mer, but just remember even though what he did to you hurt he has the right to know he is going to be a father again" Addison advised her. "I have an appointment I have to get to. Are you going to be alright?" she asked.

Meredith nodded in response. "I'm fine, I'm just going to head down the cafeteria have something to eat."

"Okay well if you need anything call me." With that Addison left leaving Meredith with her thoughts.

Meredith slowly wandered toward the cafeteria lost in her own thoughts. She had no idea how she was going to work, take care of Matilda and have another baby. She had called Richard to make sure Tilly was okay and he had said she was fine so Meredith figured she could stay there if she was having fun. So caught up in her own world she wasn't watching where she was going which became apparent when she slammed into someone.

"Jesus, watch where you're going" Cristina snapped expecting to see a fumbling intern. She apologised profusely when she realised it was Meredith. "Sorry Meredith, are you alright?" she asked noticing the distant look on her face.

"Ah yeah sorry just thinking" Meredith replied with the hint of a smile.

"I was just heading to have something to eat, it's my break you can join us if you like" Cristina said to her soon to be sister in law.

"Ah yeah so was I. Who is we?" she asked concerned that she would be Cristina and Preston's third wheel.

"My friends" Cristina answered. "We had the same resident intern year so we kind of stuck together or whatever" she continued unfazed by the sentimentalism of the fact they had stuck together.

"Oh" Meredith replied as she followed Cristina to the table where 2 guys and a girl were already seating.

"Hey guys this is Meredith, Meredith meet Alex, George and Izzie" Cristina said introducing them.

"Hi" Meredith said simply taking in each of the new people. She recognised Izzie as the blonde doctor Matilda had befriended.

"So Meredith, are you new around here or something?" Izzie asked wondering how Cristina new the woman. Cristina wasn't one to make new friends willingly.

"Ah sort of, but not really" she began to ramble before being cut off by Cristina.

"She's Burke's step sister" Cristina said clarifying everyone's thoughts and saving Meredith from humiliation.

"So you're Ellis Grey's daughter" Alex asked looking her up and down. "That's awesome" he scoffed.

"Yeah I am" Meredith replied. "You call Preston by his surname" Meredith noted turning her attention to Cristina.

"Ah yeah, it's kind of a nickname I guess" Cristina said suddenly feeling slight embarrassed which wasn't something that came easily to her.

"It's sweet" Meredith said with a smile.

"What brings you to Seattle?" George asked. "Except your family being here of course and all that" George rambled suddenly realising that he sounded stupid.

"Just needed to get away for a while" Meredith lied not looking up at them. Luckily she was saved from by the ringing of her cell phone. She answered it after noting it was Richard. He needed her to pick Matilda as he was needed for a case.

"Sorry guys I have to go" Meredith said standing up. "It was nice to meet you all" she said before heading off to Richard's leaving her new possible friends very confused.


	5. New Friends

**CHAPTER FIVE: NEW FRIENDS**

Another week had gone by and Meredith was still no closer to sharing the news of her pregnancy with anyone else, especially not to Mark. Again she had sat and contemplated dialling his number but backed out every time. She wasn't ready to hear his voice.

"Meredith are you ready?" she heard Ellis yell up the stairs. Today was her first day working at Seattle Grace and she was nervous to say the least. She had enrolled Matilda at the hospital day care for the remainder of the year as the following year she would start pre school.

"Yeah" Meredith replied descending the stairs where Ellis and Matilda were waiting for her.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Ellis asked concerned knowing that her daughter had been having trouble with her morning sickness.

"I'm fine, the meds Addie gave me are great" she replied picking up the little school bag she had packed for Matilda and taking her hand leading her to the car.

Meredith settled Matilda in the day care on arrival at the hospital promising to come see her later before heading to the resident locker room.

"Meredith" Cristina greeted as she opened her locker with was situated next to hers. "Burke said today was your first day" she noted.

"Yeah it is" Meredith said unenthusiastically as she changed.

"Are you okay?" Cristina asked looking at Meredith's pale face.

"Yeah I'm fine, just worried about Tilly, she isn't used to day cares" Meredith said truthfully. She was concerned that she wouldn't like it there since she was used to being cared for at home and having her Dad around to help.

"Who is Tilly?" Izzie asked interested in what Meredith and Cristina were talking about.

"Matilda, my 3 year old daughter" Meredith replied to the bubbly blonde. "Well she will be 4 soon."

"Oh cute" Izzie replied with a beaming smile. She loved children.

"Where is her dad?" George asked hoping that they would get more of an insight into what Meredith was hiding from; it was obvious that there was something she didn't want people to know.

"Um he is back in New York" Meredith replied softly hoping that they wouldn't ask anymore questions. She thanked God softly as a short African American woman bustled into the locker room and began bossing.

"Also we have a new resident with us, Dr Meredith Grey is a 2nd year resident like the rest of you and she will be treated the same way you all are and I expect you all to help her transition here in Seattle" the woman who Meredith had found out was Dr Miranda Bailey – chief resident. "Now get!" she said firmly.

"Dr Grey" Bailey called to Meredith causing her to turn around.

"Yes Dr Bailey" Meredith replied turning to face the small woman.

"You'll be on scut today, just until you get a feel to how we work here, it's different to New York" she said to the younger woman.

"Yes I would imagine it is" Meredith replied with a small smile. "And I don't expect you to treat me any differently to any other resident based on who my parents are. Other doctors in the past have been intimidated by it but I intend to work just as hard as anyone else" Meredith said to her superior.

"Good because I wouldn't expect anything less. And as for your parents, they don't scare me" with that the woman headed off out of Meredith's sight.

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After hours of suturing Meredith collected Matilda from the day care and settled into a table at the cafeteria. She smiled as Matilda blabbered away about how her morning at the day care had been.

"Mind if we join?" Izzie asked as the 'gang' approached the table where she was seated.

"Of course not" Meredith said giving Izzie a small smile. There was something about her that she liked. She had a warm friendly nature that Meredith was drawn to. "Tilly these are Mommy's new friends, like the ones you've been playing with at day care" Meredith explained to the small girl as she looked up at the strange people. She didn't recognise Izzie as the woman she had talked to the other day.

"Aunty Cristina" the little girl squealed as she ran to Cristina and hugged her.

"Someone get it off" Cristina exclaimed acting like she was some kind of insect causing Matilda to begin sobbing. She crawled up into Meredith arm's and hid her face from everyone.

"You didn't have to be so mean" Izzie snapped at Cristina. "She was just excited to see you."

"I don't do kids" Cristina muttered.

"Aww but Aunty Cristina" Alex teased causing Cristina to glare at him.

"Hi Matilda, I'm Izzie, do you remember talking to me the other day?" Izzie asked the small girl trying to stop her from being upset.

Matilda nodded lightly. "Well these are my friends Alex and George" Izzie told her which made Matilda look around at smile at the two other strangers.

"She usually isn't this shy" Meredith explained seating Matilda in her own seat so she could eat her own lunch.

"We are heading over to Joe's – the bar across the street after our shift, you should come" Alex said to Meredith hoping they could all get to know her better.

"I'm sorry I can't" Meredith said sadly moving her fork around her salad.

"I'm sure you're Mom could look after squirt" Alex replied thinking that Matilda was the reason to why she couldn't go out.

"She could but that's not the problem, just don't worry about it" Meredith fumbled nervously. "I should get Tilly back to day care" she said suddenly getting up and gathering her daughter and her things, leaving her new friends confused once again.


	6. Broken Brother

Thanks everyone for the awesome response to the new fic. I had a comment regarding when Mark was going to make an appearance and this chapter will give you a little mor infromation to that. Hold tight this is a Mermark but Meredith needs some time to sort her thoughts before Mark arrives. Dani xx

**CHAPTER SIX: BROKEN BROTHER**

"Meredith, are you sure you are okay?" Cristina asked concerned as Meredith emerged from the ladies bathroom pale and clammy once again. They were the only people left in the locker room. She and Meredith had become quite good friends since their meeting. Meredith knew now being 8 weeks pregnant she wouldn't be able to hide it for too much longer.

"No Cris I'm not okay" Meredith said slinking against her locker onto the bench in front of it. She was exhausted from working and taking care of Matilda. She was also exhausted from hiding her pregnancy and not having the courage to tell her husband.

"Okay well I kind of already figured that out and well that's all I had prepared" Cristina admitted not familiar with what happens when your friend has a problem. Izzie knew better to confide in her, and she had George for that anyway.

"I'm pregnant Cris" Meredith told her new friend instantly feeling relieved that she had told yet another person. All her family had known, including Preston but she was sure that he hadn't told Cristina.

"Wow, I'm guessing its Mark's because you've only been here like 3 weeks" Cristina said stumbling over her words. She wasn't sure what to say.

Meredith just simply nodded, tears stinging her eyes. "I can't do this without him but at the same time I can't face him" Meredith admitted looking down at her feet taking deep breaths.

"He doesn't know" Cristina spluttered sitting down on the bench beside Meredith. She looked around the room not sure what to say. Her mind wandered back to when she had been pregnant during intern year. She had planned to abort it without Burke even knowing, until the pregnancy had turned ectopic. She couldn't have gotten through it without him and she was sure that was exactly how Meredith was feeling.

"I know I should tell him, I've dialled his number a million times but I always cancel the call" Meredith told her friend.

"I think you need to tell him Mer, it's going to hurt but he deserves to know, it doesn't mean you have to forgive him" Cristina assured her.

"Thanks Cris, I better go find Shepherd, he may be my brother in law by default but he would probably still kick my ass for being late" Meredith said with a small smile before taking off.

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Derek sat in his office waiting for Meredith to join him. She was on his service but hadn't shown yet and he was beginning to become concerned. It wasn't like her to be late especially with the case they had today. He was about to go in search of her when his cell rang.

"Derek Shepherd" he answered as he always did not even bothering to look at the ID.

There was a long pause before the voice on the other end of the line spoke. "Shep, is she there in Seattle?" the deep male voice spoke.

"Mark, what the hell do you want?" Derek snapped immediately recognising the voice as his brother. Well he was a form of his brother. He had never heard him seem so broke.

"I just want to know Meredith is alright" he spoke softly. "I don't want any trouble I just need to know she is okay."

"Yes she's here" Derek said after a while. "But that doesn't mean you should come out here Mark, she isn't ready to see you, you really hurt her this time" Derek continued. He wanted to hate his brother so much for hurting the best thing that had ever happened to him but the way he sounded he couldn't help feeling bad for him.

"And Tilly?" he asked.

"Tilly is fine, she's confused but she is being herself. She is adjusting well to the changes. She asks about you a lot and that hurts Meredith more" Derek said honestly.

"Give my little girl a kiss for me and Derek take care of Mer, and know that I don't know why I did it, I can't explain anything because even I don't know the answers" Mark said his voice cracking as he spoke.

"Give her time Mark, she just needs time" Derek told him knowing Meredith would contact him when she was ready.

"I know but she can't avoid me forever we have a child" Mark said his voice raising slightly.

Derek flinched at the sound of his words, if only he knew that he had another child on the way. He knew Meredith had been trying to call to tell him but she couldn't go through with it. "Okay, well I have to get going I have surgery soon. Meredith isn't fine but in time she will be" Derek said genuinely glad to hear from his brother.

"Thanks man, look its Matilda's birthday in a few weeks, I intend to fly out, tell Meredith if you want but it's not going to change anything, she is my daughter too and I deserve the right to be there for her birthday" Mark ranted.

"Okay well I will tell her" Derek said before saying his goodbyes and hanging up. Just as he hung up Meredith appeared in the doorway to his office.

"Hey sorry I'm late" she said with a small smile. "Morning sickness sucks" she offered as an explanation to her absence.

"It's okay, I thought Addie gave you meds" he said concerned about her health.

"Yeah they don't work all the time now, but it's okay I'm sure I will survive" she said.

Derek looked at her taking in her appearance. She had dark circles under her eyes and they were red and puffy clearly she had been crying again. She also looked as though she was losing weight when she should be gaining.

"You and Tilly should come for dinner tomorrow night" Derek said suddenly. He wanted to tell her about the phone call he had received from Mark and she looked like she was in need of a home cooked meal.

"Okay Matilda and I would love to" Meredith said with a smile. "Now what's today's case?" she asked wanting to get on with her work day.


	7. Missing You

**CHAPTER SEVEN: MISSING YOU **

Meredith searched through her cupboards for a clean sweater. She hastily threw clothes around her new bedroom. She had decided that she couldn't live with her parents forever; she and Matilda needed their own space while they settled into their new life. She had been surprised when Ellis had told her that the she still owned the old house in which Meredith grew up in. They had planned to put in on the market years ago but Ellis wasn't willing to let go of something that had been a huge part of her life even though it was a part of her life that hadn't been the greatest.

"Mommy what are you doing?" Matilda's small voice asked from the door way of Meredith's bedroom. Meredith had already dressed her ready to go. They were having dinner with Derek and Addison.

"Gah, I can't find my sweater, well a clean one" Meredith explained to her small daughter.

"You could always find your clothes in New York" Matilda said smartly.

"Yeah we aren't in New York anymore Matilda" Meredith snapped. She instantly regretted it when Matilda began to cry.

"I'm sorry sweetie" Meredith said moving to her and crouching at her level hugging her small body. "Mommy didn't mean it" she soothed her picking her up and placing her on the bed. Meredith picked up a green sweater throwing it on not caring whether it was clean or not.

"We going now?" Matilda asked hopefully. She had been looking forward to seeing her aunt and uncle since Meredith had mentioned it to her.

"Yes we are" Meredith replied grabbing her bag and ushering Matilda down the stairs.

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"Derek honey you are all tense" Addison noted as her husband paced and jittered waiting for Meredith to arrive. "It's only Meredith and Matilda. Something is going on Derek and you better tell me what it is right now" Addison snapped at him becoming concerned to what had happened.

"Mark called me yesterday" Derek confessed looking over at Addison where she was stirring something on the stove.

"Oh and I'm guessing you want to tell Meredith" Addison said realising what the tension was all about. She could read her husband like a book.

Derek nodded. "It's either I tell her about the phone call or just have him show up here in 3 weeks and completely blind sight her" Derek groaned.

"He is coming here, in 3 weeks" Addison clarified continuing to stir the sauce on the stove.

"Yeah he's flying out for Matilda's birthday, I tried to warn him that Meredith needs time but he made it clear he wasn't missing his daughter's birthday."

"You can't not tell her but at the same time if you tell her she is going to be on edge and she may not even stick around" Addison reasoned with him. She knew Meredith reasonably well, and she definitely knew she was a strong woman. She wasn't the type to stick around to cause herself more pain.

"I know but she won't be happy if she finds out that we knew" Derek said trying to come to a resolution of his new problem.

"Derek our main concern is making sure she is okay now, her and Tilly. If she knows he is coming she will stress and that isn't good for the baby. She is already losing weight instead of gaining it" Addison warned.

"I know, hopefully I can talk her into calling him, just talking to him herself" Derek said placing his head in his hands. He was at a loss to what to do. Mark was his brother and he could see where he was coming from but at the same time he had hurt Meredith and it was clear she wasn't dealing with it as well as she was saying.

"Just do what you think is best" Addison reassured her husband kissing him on the lips. "Meredith is here" she whispered as she heard a car pull up.

Meredith walked into the lavish Shepherd house, Matilda in her arms as she followed Derek into the kitchen where Addison was.

"Hey Mer, how are you?" Addison said greeting her with a kiss on the cheek.

"Exhausted" Meredith breathed as she moved Matilda to sit on her hip better.

"Yeah I can imagine pregnancy isn't thrilling" Addison joked. "Should you be lifting her" Addison asked referring to Matilda.

"Probably not" Meredith groaned trying to put her down but she clung on not wanting to be away from her mother.

"Is she okay?" Derek asked concerned as he watched the little girl cling to her mother. Derek moved towards them and took Matilda into his own arms and hugged her.

"Hey Tilly, why the long face?" he asked kissing her forehead.

"I kind of lost my temper with her" Meredith admitted watching as she cuddled Derek and glared at her mother. "She said something about New York and I just couldn't deal with it."

"Have you thought about calling Mark?" Derek asked hesitantly. "At least for Tilly's sake, just to let her talk to him. It might help" Derek suggested.

"I will think about it" Meredith said not making eye contact.

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Meredith settled down onto her bed sitting cross legged as she nursed her cell phone in her hand. Staring at the number she had dialled on it contemplating whether to call it. Dinner with Derek and Addison had been great until they had urged her to call Mark. She knew they were right, she had to talk to him at least for the sake of Tilly but the pain was still so fresh.

She took a long deep breath and hit dial. She waited and waited as it rang and rang. She figured he must have been in surgery or worse. She was about to hang up when she heard his voice answer. She sat frozen her breath caught in her throat.

"Hello, are you there?" she heard his voice ask over and over.

"Meredith" he breathed. "Mer I know it's you talk to me" he begged. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you but I know I did. Please say something."

All that could be heard from his end was heavy breathing as tears slipped down Meredith's cheeks.

"Meredith please, I love you and I miss you."

Meredith had heard enough as she flipped her phone closed. "I miss you too" she whispered as she lay down on her big empty bed, hugging a pillow tightly she let herself cry freely.


	8. Just Like You

**CHAPTER EIGHT: JUST LIKE YOU**

The next couple of weeks flew by. Meredith kept herself busy with work and taking care of Matilda. Dinner with Addison and Derek became a weekly event, one that she actually looked forward to. She also had set up a weekly dinner with her parents in which Preston and Cristina would join them if they could. It was difficult to work it around their surgical schedules.

Also in the past couple of weeks Izzie had moved into the house with Meredith and Matilda. She had needed a new place after the lease on her apartment ran out and Meredith needed the extra help with Matilda. Since Matilda liked Izzie it seemed to make sense.

"Are you sure you will be okay with her?" Meredith asked for the millionth time. Izzie had the day off and for the first time Meredith was allowing her to take care of Matilda instead of her going to day care.

"Yes, we will be fine. Don't stress about this, it isn't good for the baby" Izzie said with a smile knowing that this must be killing Meredith leaving her child with someone she really didn't know that well since she had left New York.

"Okay well call me if anything happens, and if you get paged to the hospital take her to the day care then let me know. I've authorised you to sign her in and out" Meredith bossed as she grabbed her keys and bag.

"Bye sweetie" she said to Matilda kissing her on the forehead as she sat sleepily at the table.

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"You've checked your phone like 20 times Mer, what's going on?" Addison asked as she noticed how on edge Meredith had been since she had appeared at her office at the beginning of her shift.

"Izzie is looking after Tilly" Meredith said looking down sheepishly. "I know I'm being stupid but I can't help but worry" she continued.

"Meredith, Izzie is very capable when it comes to children. Matilda will be fine. Now Mrs Johnson on the other hand won't be if we don't get her to surgery now" Addison said with a reassuring smile.

"Yeah right of course she will be" Meredith said trying to convince no-one else but herself.

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"You're quiet" Ellis Grey-Webber noticed as she sat and ate lunch with her daughter. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah just thinking" Meredith replied not looking up from her salad that she was pushing around the plastic container with her fork.

"Have you spoken to Mark?" Ellis asked wondering if he knew about the baby yet.

"Not since when I called a few weeks ago. Not that I actually did any talking" she replied.

"Meredith sweetheart. I didn't like Mark when I first met him. I made that clear but he proved me wrong after a while. Now he has hurt you more than anyone else could and I know how that feels. But that baby deserves to have a father. Just like you did" Ellis spoke softly to her daughter, stroking her hand in her own.

"This is how you felt when Thatcher left you" Meredith asked not realising that her mother had been through something similar.

Ellis nodded. "I didn't have a pregnancy to worry about though" Ellis told her.

"I should tell him" Meredith said after a long pause. "This time I am actually going to tell him, at least for the sake of this baby and Tilly" Meredith said firmly placing her hands protectively over her stomach which was beginning to fill out.

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"Meredith can we talk?" Derek asked as he approached Meredith how was quickly walking toward the lab.

"Not right now Der, I'm in a hurry I have to get these labs done asap" she breathed stopping briefly to face him.

"It's kind of important" he said not looking at her. He had spoken to Mark the previous day and he had told him he was flying in first thing the next morning. He and Addison had argued over whether they should tell Meredith and Addison had been right again. Meredith would just run. But Derek didn't feel right keeping it from her. He needed to tell him.

"Ah look Der if this is about Mark again I don't want to hear it. I'm going to call and tell him okay. I talked to Mom and well she said some things and they helped" Meredith explained.

"Yeah of course. Catch you later" he said before turning and walking in the other directions running a hand through his unruly black curls.

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"So I just saw Derek and he was acting all weird" Meredith told Addison as she read over the labs Meredith had just delivered back to her.

"Oh weird how?" Addison asked concerned that he was going to do the one thing she had stressed to him that he didn't. If he told Meredith Mark was coming she would take off for sure.

"Said something about telling me something important. Any ideas?" Meredith asked curiously wondering if Addison knew what was so important that Derek couldn't wait to tell her.

"Probably something to do with Tilly's birthday" Addison lied knowing that if Meredith focussed on organising Matilda's birthday she wouldn't think about Derek's strangeness.

"Yeah I guess" Meredith agreed not able to shake the feeling that something was going and not only did Derek know what it was but Addison was in on it too.


	9. McHusband

I apolgise for the time between updates but i have a lot going on at the moment so updates will be few and far between for a while. Please stick with it!!! Now for the chapter a lot of people have been waiting for. Dani xx

**CHAPTER NINE: MCHUSBAND**

"Is it my birfday yet Mommy?" Matilda asked Meredith as they made their way to the hospital. All her and Izzie had been hearing about was her birthday and it was beginning to get on both of their nerves.

"Tilly we talked about this. Remember one more sleep until your birthday" Izzie explained as Meredith focussed on driving.

"Is Izzie right Mommy?" Matilda asked not believing anything until she heard it from Meredith.

"Yes Izzie is right" Meredith groaned.

"You okay Mer?" Izzie asked noticing Meredith's impatience with Matilda and quietness.

"Yeah I just have this feeling that something is going to happen today. It's silly I know but I can't shake it" Meredith admitted as they parked at the hospital.

"I'm sure it's nothing" Izzie assured Meredith as she got out and helped Matilda out of the car. Meredith took her hand and led her to the day care telling Izzie she would see her in the locker room.

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"Ah my second favourite resident" Burke announced as Meredith met up with him.

"Only second that hurts a little" Meredith said with a small giggle.

"You're smiling" Preston noted knowing that it was rare to see a smile on his little sister's face these days. "What can I do for you?" he asked.

"Bailey sent me to you. I was supposed to be with Addison but apparently she had too many interns or something at the moment" Meredith explained to her brother.

"Ah well lucky you"

"Why does that make me lucky? I'm glad not to have interns yet" Meredith said with a smirk.

"Lucky because you get to assist me in a double bypass surgery. If you're up to it of course" he said with a hint of competiveness.

"Hell yeah" Meredith said with a smile. "So are you still coming tomorrow?" Meredith asked referring to the small party they were having for Matilda's birthday. Luckily her birthday fell on a Saturday so it wasn't too difficult for them all to get time off work.

"Of course. Cristina and I will be there" he said assuring his little sister. "Do you need us to bring anything?"

"Nope just yourself, oh and I'm sure your niece expects gifts" Meredith said with a smirk.

"Of course she does. Well in that case can you draw some final bloods for Mr Ryan and check my post ops" Preston said as he headed off to see more of his patients.

"That was amazing" Meredith scoffed as she scrubbed out of surgery with Burke. "You are arrogant for a reason after all" Meredith teased.

"You will have an ego the size of mine too in good time Mer, if not worse" he teased back.

"I resent that" Meredith giggled.

Preston looked at her. It was good to see her some what happier than she had been. She seemed to be gaining weight too which was a good sigh especially with her pregnancy progressing along. She was almost 12 weeks now, almost out of her first trimester.

"You should go get something to eat, don't want my nephew starving" Burke told her.

"Ah so you think it's a boy" Meredith asked as she turned to leave the scrub room.

"I know it is" Burke called after her.

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"I just got to scrub in on a double bypass, jealous?" Meredith asked as she joined Cristina and Izzie on the bridge overlooking the hospital lobby.

"Hell yes" Cristina said perking up a bit. "I've been stuck down in the pit with my whiny interns you are so lucky you don't have interns" Cristina ranted.

"My interns are great" Izzie babbled. "I feel like I am really teaching them, getting into their minds."

"Yeah Izzie that right there, that is sometimes why I hate you" Cristina said glaring at her.

"By the way Meredith what time do we have to be at your place tomorrow?"

"Around 11 should be fine" Meredith replied rubbing her temples.

"My day off and I'm spending it with you and the kid" Cristina groaned. "What do I buy it?"

"Um I don't know I'm sure Preston will know what to buy her, she had everything in New York" Meredith replied not really paying attention.

"Are you okay Mer?" Izzie asked concerned.

"Yeah just a bit of a headache, it's just tension" Meredith said brushing it off.

"Okay well if it gets worse tell me and I will examine you" Izzie said.

"I should get her a doctor set" Cristina said thinking out loud.

"She has one, Mom and Dad got it for her last Christmas" Meredith said.

"I'd get a Barbie but Izzie lives with you so she already as her own personal one" Cristina joked to Izzie but she was less than impressed.

"Cristina that's the kind of crap that makes me dislike you" Izzie said bitterly.

Meredith barely listened to her friends argue as her eyes set on a familiar figure at the nurse's station located near the lobby. She watched as he smiled his trademark smile at the nurse, clearly charming her to get him to what he wanted.

"Mer, Meredith are you listening to me?" Izzie asked breaking Meredith from her gaze.

"Oh sorry was in my own world" Meredith said with a small smile before she glanced back down to where the figure stood.

Izzie curiously looked down to where Meredith's eyes were fixed.

"Oh nice Mer, whose the McHottie?" Izzie asked slightly excited.

"That would be McHusband" Meredith said softly as her pager beeped. Just as she had thought, he had charmed the nurse so she would page her. Some things never change.


	10. Reunion

**CHAPTER TEN: REUNION**

"He is your husband" Cristina said her jaw open at how incredibly good looking he was. "He is like sex on a stick."

"Cristina you already have a fiancé stop eyeing him like he is a piece of meat" Izzie chastised.

"Yeah and he is married but that didn't stop him before" Cristina said instantly regretting the words as soon as they left her mouth. "I'm so sorry" she apologised instantly.

"So are you going to go talk to him?" Izzie asked watching as Meredith seemed to zone out into her own world.

"I don't know what to say, Izzie this is the feeling I had" Meredith said seriously looking at Izzie.

"Crap" was all Izzie could say. "It will be okay, just talk to him" Izzie said as she rubbed Meredith's arm encouragingly.

Meredith took a deep breath before making her way down to the lobby where her cheating husband awaited her.

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"So you found us" Meredith said softly as she approached the familiar figure of her husband. She took in his appearance, he didn't look any different. A little tired which she only hoped was because of long hours at the hospital.

"I knew where you would go Meri, you just needed space" Mark said looking into her green eyes that used to sparkle with so much happiness but now were dull and full of pain as she looked at him.

"So I'm guessing you came for Matilda's birthday" Meredith said looking down at her shoes.

"Yeah I did, and I wanted to see you. Meredith I miss you" he said genuinely. He reached out to touch her shoulder but she took a step back.

Meredith shook her head at him. "You don't get to show up here and say things like that, make excuses. I can't handle this right now" Meredith said tears welling in her eyes.

"Meredith please can we at least talk about you know what happened?" Mark begged looking at her.

"There isn't really anything left to talk about Mark, actions speak louder than words" Meredith snapped harshly.

"You don't think I feel terrible for what happened Meredith. You think I haven't been affected by any of this. I will regret that day for the rest of my life, especially if I can never have you back in my life" Mark ranted at her.

"Then why the hell would you do it?" Meredith screeched at him tears streaming down her cheeks. She knew she was making a scene in her father's hospital and he wouldn't appreciate it.

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"What's going on down there" Alex asked joining Cristina and Izzie on the bridge where they were watching Meredith and Mark have it out.

"That would be the reunion between Meredith and her husband" Izzie said sadly watching her friend's pain.

"50 bucks says she knocks him flat on his ass before too long" Cristina said edging her friend along ignoring yet another page.

"Dude, that's Mark Sloan" Alex said focussing on the face of the male.

He watched the blank stares on his friend's faces searching for an explanation from him.

"He's like a plastics god. One of the best plastic surgeons in the country" Alex said amazed that Meredith was married to his idol.

"Yeah well once Meredith is done with him I'm pretty sure he is going to need a plastic surgeon to fix his pretty face" Cristina scoffed as her pager beeped again. "I better get this" Cristina said not really wanting to go and miss any of the action.

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"Meredith I didn't mean for it to happen" Mark said trying to come up with an explanation for his actions. Everything that entered his mind didn't sound right.

"Oh so your clothes accidently fell off and you accidently ended up in bed" Meredith said laughing bitterly. "This is just one big joke to you" Meredith cried at him.

"Of course it isn't. I said 'til death do us part just like you" Mark tried reasoning with his wife. She was furious with him, he could see her eyes darkening. He didn't know what else he could say to make her see how sorry he was for betraying her.

"Yeah the only difference is I meant it" Meredith spat at him, brushing the tears away from her eyes.

"Seriously, I don't know what you were doing Meredith. You were out at all hours, I was raising our daughter. You could have been doing anything or anyone" he shouted at her instantly regretting saying the words. He knew better than to think Meredith would cheat on him.

"Oh no you did not" Meredith said as she slapped him hard across the face. His hand instantly reaching up to the red mark she had left. "I never once looked at another man, and you were doing far more than looking" Meredith cried at him as she began to sob.

"What the hell is going on here?" Richard boomed appearing where the married pair were having their dispute, Ellis not far behind him.

"Meredith are you okay?" Ellis asked as she took in the broken appearance of her daughter. Her heart instantly broke in two at the sight of her. She wrapped her arms around her and held her as she sobbed. "It's okay sweetheart, I'm here now" Ellis attempted to sooth her.

"Mark what are you doing here?" Richard asked looking less than impressed with his son in law.

"I just needed to explain, I just I need her back" he said struggling to find the right words. "I need my girls back."

"Well this isn't going to solve anything so I suggest you get yourself together and come back later" Richard reasoned.

"I want to see my daughter" he said firmly.

"Come back later and you can see Matilda" Richard told him watching as he gave in and turned to leave, he gave Meredith one more glance before walking out the door.

Richard looked at his little girl wrapped in her mother's arms he could only imagine what the poor girl was feeling and the affect that this would all have on her health and that of the child growing inside her.


	11. Daddy's Princess

**CHAPTER ELEVEN: DADDY'S PRINCESS**

"Whoa Mer you totally gave it to him. Remind me to never make you mad, you can hit for a girl" Alex raved in the locker room where he and Izzie had followed her to.

"Are you okay Mer?" Izzie asked Meredith as she sat beside her passing her a bottle of water.

Meredith shook her head at her friends. "I can't believe he is here. And he said things, cruel things" Meredith rambled not making a lot of sense. "He accused me of being out, sleeping around" she continued.

"Oh Mer I'm so sorry" Izzie said wrapping an arm around her.

"I was working, he was the one doing god knows what, how could I be so stupid?" Meredith questioned herself.

"You weren't to know Mer, you couldn't predict he would do this to you" Izzie convinced her.

Meredith shook her head. "You don't understand Izz, I should have known. He used to be like that. He used to sleep with anyone. Then he met me, and supposedly I tamed the great man-whore that is Mark Sloan, I should have known better" Meredith ranted.

"Don't think like that, you thought he had changed, it happens to the best of us" Izzie admitted.

"Everyone warned me, hell even Derek his own brother warned me. I guess I deserve this" Meredith said beginning to cry again.

"Meredith don't ever say that" Alex said crouching in front of her. "You are an amazing woman, you are smart, beautiful and an excellent mother" Alex spoke softly. "He's the stupid one."

Izzie smiled liking this compassionate side of Alex. It was this side of him she had liked when they had dated a few years ago but he had proven to be not the man she thought he was. But now he was beginning to show the Alex she loved again.

"Thanks guys" Meredith murmured. "I should go find Burke again, I need to work stay focussed. Mark will be back soon to see Tilly" Meredith said getting up and making her way out of the locker room.

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"Mer how you holding up?" Preston asked as Meredith approached him.

"I don't want to talk about it, I just want to work" Meredith said looking up at her big brother begging him with her eyes.

"Okay but Meredith I can't let you near my patients in your state, you don't have a clear head" Preston reasoned with her. Not only could she be a danger to his patients but also to herself – her career.

"Fine" Meredith said taking off in a huff.

Meredith settled herself on a gurney in the hallway as she filled out charts.

"Hi" Derek greeted her as he sat up next to her.

"Don't you have brains to be cracking open" Meredith asked him not looking up from her charts.

"Not at the moment, I heard what happened. Are you okay?" he asked concerned.

"I would be fine if everyone would stop asking me that. So what my cheating husband appears and blames me for doing the same thing" Meredith confessed to Derek.

"I'm sorry Mer, you shouldn't have to go through this. When is he coming back for Matilda?" he asked.

"Should be soon" Meredith replied looking down at her wrist to check her watch.

"Do you think it would have made a difference if you knew he was coming?" Derek asked nervously running his hands through his hair, wondering is he was doing the right thing by telling her he had known all along.

"I don't know, a bit of warning might have been good" Meredith said looking up at Derek noticing the look on his face. "You knew" she shouted at him. "You knew he was coming and you didn't tell me. Derek you are spiteful" she cried at him.

"I tried to tell you yesterday but you told me you were too busy to talk and then Addison said it would be best…" he tried to explain.

"Addison knew as well, I thought of all people Addison would understand, you two are unbelievable" she exclaimed shaking her head at him before beginning to talk away.

"Where are you going?" Derek called out after her.

"To face hell" came her bitter response.

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"Hey you going to get Tilly?" Alex asked as he saw Meredith heading in the direction of the day care.

"Yeah I guess she should see her Dad" Meredith replied softly.

"Well I'm coming with you" Alex said seriously looking at the reaction on his friend's face.

"I don't need someone to protect me Alex I'm a big girl" Meredith snapped at him, annoyed that everyone expected her to not be able to fight her own battle.

"You've proved that but I would feel better knowing someone was with you" Alex convinced her and smiled as she gave in.

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"Dadddddddddddyyy" Matilda squealed as she ran toward her father her arms wide open ready for him to be in them.

"Hey princess god I've missed you" Mark said lifting his young daughter up into arms breathing in her hair. Tears of joy sprang his eyes at the feel of his little girl in his arms.

"Whose that?" Mark asked Meredith referring to Alex who stood close to Meredith, supporting her.

"Alex is a friend of mine" Meredith replied looking at her shoes.

"You move fast" Mark snapped bitterly.

"Mark please can we be civilised for Matilda's sake, and I mean just a friend, trust me I've had no time for dating" Meredith said with a sigh exhausted already from the arguments.

"Right well can I take Matilda for a while, maybe take her shopping for a present" Mark asked Meredith hopefully.

"Yeah ah bring her by the house later I finish at 6, here's the address" Meredith said grabbing a piece of paper from the nurse's station and quickly scribbling the address.

"Okay, I ah brought some of her stuff from home too, thought you might need more of her clothes that kind of stuff" he said looking at the broken expression on his wife's face.

"Thanks, well have a good time baby and Mommy will see you later" Meredith said with tears kissing her daughter on the cheek. She turned and walked away leaving them to catch up, a tear rolled down her face as she thought this is what her marriage had amounted to.


	12. Broken Hearts

**CHAPTER TWELVE: BROKEN HEARTS**

"What a day!" Meredith exclaimed as she flopped onto the bench in front of the lockers. "I'm exhausted" she continued.

"Yeah I would be too Mer, I mean you've been kicking ass" Cristina said supporting her friend for how she had handled her husband.

"Yeah well I better get going, I told him I finish at 6 so he should be bringing Matilda back soon" Meredith said getting up off the bench and changing into her street clothes.

"Isn't Izzie already at the house?" George asked as he changed into his scrubs ready to begin his shift while the others ended theirs.

"Yeah Mark doesn't know Izzie so isn't going to leave Matilda there" Meredith explained. "At least he is a little bit responsible with our child."

"Yeah so responsible that he tries it on with her nanny while she is sleeping" Cristina added for good measure.

"I am trying so hard to forget about that Cris so how about we don't mention it" Meredith said as calmly as possible.

"Sorry I have like a disease" Cristina apologised yet again for the way words just tumbled out of her mouth, it seemed to constantly be getting her into trouble.

"Yeah it's called foot in mouth" Alex sniggered at her causing even Meredith to let out a giggle.

"Anyway I really have to go so I will see you guys later" Meredith said as she picked up her bag and headed for the exit to the locker room waving as her friends said goodbye.

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"Hey Mer how was the rest of your shift?" Izzie asked as Meredith walked into the kitchen dumping her stuff on the counter.

"It was okay" Meredith replied. "Mark hasn't attempted to return my daughter yet?" Meredith asked.

"Not since I've been home" Izzie answered stirring the sauce she had sitting on the stove. "I'm making bolognaise so I hope you're hungry" Izzie continued as she tasted the sauce.

"Yeah a little, I'm going to have a quick shower before Mark brings Matilda back, if he comes while I'm up there tell him I won't be long. Nothing against you Izz but he won't leave Tilly here until I'm back down" Meredith said with a sigh as she headed up the stairs.

"No problem" Izzie called up to her. "And Mer?" she called again.

"Try and relax it's not good for the baby" Izzie said with a smile knowing that Meredith was probably tired of hearing that.

After about 15 minutes there was a knock at the door. Izzie instantly knew who it would be, she called out to Meredith but no response came so she figured she was relaxing like Izzie had advised. Izzie sighed as she opened the door.

"Ah I'm looking for Meredith Sl…Grey's house" Mark said as the door pulled open and Izzie stood there.

"This is the right house Daddy, that's Izzie" Matilda explained leaping up into Izzie's arms. "Hey Izzie" she said kissing her cheek.

"Hi sweetie, did you have a nice time?" she asked as she held onto her.

"I gather your name is Izzie but who are you?" Mark asked as he watched the interaction between his daughter and the strange woman.

"I'm a friend of Meredith's, I live here with them" Izzie explained. "Come on in, Meredith is in the shower she should be back down in a moment" Izzie continued leading him into the house.

"Right, so why do you live here?" Mark asked somewhat rudely.

"I needed a place to stay and Meredith needed someone to help her look after Tilly so it made sense" Izzie answered politely although she couldn't help but hate the man standing in front of her. She hated him on principle.

"Oh so you're the nanny?" he asked as he reached down and picked Matilda up again.

"No, I work at the hospital with Meredith, I'm a second year resident too" Izzie explained a little taken back by all the questions.

"Mommy" Matilda squealed as she saw Meredith coming down the stairs.

"Hi honey, I missed you" Meredith said picking her up taking note of the look Izzie was giving her. "Mark" Meredith said greeting her estranged husband.

"Meredith, I ah have the stuff from New York in the car if you want it" Mark said not making eye contact with his wife.

"Oh thanks, thank you for bringing it, Tilly needs more clothes" Meredith rambled.

"Great I will just grab it" Mark replied heading out the door and returning moments later with a couple of suitcases full of clothes.

"Some of it is yours too" Mark said placing them at the bottom of the stairs. "I got Muffin a present too so can she have it now or should I wait until tomorrow" Mark asked then he realised. "I can see her tomorrow right" he asked suddenly not knowing whether Meredith had plans.

"Um we are having a small get together party kind of thing here at the house tomorrow, just Mom, Dad, Preston, Derek and some people from the hospital, if you want to come you can, I'm sure Matilda would love you to be here, not that anyone else will be too happy to see you" Meredith rambled not knowing exactly what she was saying. "Sorry I didn't mean that but yeah you should come" she said before going quiet.

"Okay I will see, I might come for a little while just to see Matilda, I better get going, it's almost Tilly's bed time and I'm sure you want to relax or something so I'm going to go, see you tomorrow" he said not knowing what else to say. The situation was awkward.

"Okay, say goodbye to Daddy baby" Meredith said to Matilda. Tears welled in her eyes as watched the two; it broke her heart that she was keeping them apart.


	13. Responsible Parenting

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN: RESPONSIBLE PARENTING**

"Remember how Mommy told you about the baby growing in her tummy when we were on the plane?" Meredith asked her small daughter as she lay snuggled in bed with her. Matilda was having trouble going to sleep with the buzz of being with her father and her birthday being the next day.

"Yeah it's going to be my little brother or sister" Matilda said proudly.

"Remember how I said we can't tell Daddy about it?" Meredith continued hoping that the little girl hadn't let it slip throughout the time with Mark. He hadn't looked at her like he knew difference while gave her satisfaction in thinking that he didn't know.

"Yeah and I didn't Mommy, I'm good at keeping secrets" Matilda mumbled sleepily.

"Good girl" Meredith said kissing the top of her head. "Mommy will tell him soon then we won't have to keep a secret anymore" Meredith continued a tear slipping down her cheek as she nestled into her daughter and one hand rested protectively on her stomach.

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Meredith jolted awake and looked at the clock beside her on her table. She glanced at the time and was surprised that it read 9.30am. People would be arriving soon and she was nowhere near ready. Matilda was still sleeping soundly beside her as she quietly made her way to the bathroom where her usual bout of morning sickness took over.

She wandered back into the room after some time to find Matilda sitting up in bed smiling. "Good morning my birthday girl" Meredith said kissing her daughter and wrapping her arms around her.

"Morning Mama. I four now" the little girl announce proudly.

"Such a big girl now" Meredith agreed as she heard the doorbell ring and Izzie shuffle down stairs to go answer it. She listened closely and recognised the deep male voice of her husband. She quickly through on her dressing gown and picked Matilda up out of the bed.

"Meredith" Izzie called just as Meredith appeared at the stairs.

"Hi" Mark said softly taking in Meredith's dishevelled appearance, she had clearly just gotten up.

"Daddy" Matilda squealed squirming out of her mother's arms and running toward her dad.

"Happy Birthday Princess" he said hugging her tightly.

"You're here early" Meredith noted as she stood in front of Mark taking his clean fresh appearance, she couldn't deny the fact that he looked good.

"Yeah you ah didn't tell me what time for the party so I figured I would just come and hope for the best, you've had a late morning" he mentioned knowing that she rarely slept late.

"Yeah Matilda had a late night she was excited" Meredith explained pushing her hair back off her face.

"Are you okay?" Mark asked concerned as he noticed her pale and clammy skin. He could tell she had been sick.

"Yeah it's just a stomach flu or something, I've had it a few days, I have meds I'm taking" Meredith lied.

"Oh well I hope you feel better soon" he said politely.

"I'm going to go upstairs and get ready, Matilda has clothes set out in her room if you want to dress her, I will deal with her hair when I come back" Meredith said with a small smile before making her way up the stairs to prepare for the day.

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It was almost 11.30 and most people had arrived. All that they were waiting for was Preston and Cristina. Everyone had been surprised to see Mark there but all had understood since he was Matilda's father and it was her day. Meredith was tired, exhausted even and the day had just begun.

"Hey we're here" Preston called out as he led Cristina into the house she had become a frequent visitor to.

"In the lounge room" Meredith called back to him nervous to how he would react to Mark's presence.

"How are you?" Preston asked as Meredith met him at the doorway hugging him.

"I'm okay" Meredith said. She had planned on saying more but was cut off.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Preston said bitterly when he noticed Mark sitting on the lounge, Matilda on his lap.

"Pres, it's okay, I invited him" Meredith told her brother. "Please can we not do this today, it's Matilda's birthday and I want her to remember her birthday as a happy day" Meredith ranted to the pair.

Meredith sighed and made her way to the kitchen she needed some time out.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Ellis asked as entered to find Meredith slumped against the bench her head in her hands.

"I'm fine" Meredith lied taking deep breaths.

"No you aren't, this is too much too soon Meredith, you didn't have to do this, you need to be thinking about…" Ellis began.

"Don't even say the B word" Meredith snapped.

"You still haven't told him" Ellis realised surprise written all over her face.

Meredith shook her head. "I was going to then he showed up and I don't know what to do" Meredith admitted.

"Do what you think is best, don't let anyone else push you, it's your life Meredith" Ellis advised her daughter. "Now get out there and enjoy your daughter's birthday."

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It was getting later in the afternoon and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Izzie had prepared a nice lunch for everyone and had baked a cake especially for Matilda.

Everyone was now engaged in conversation and Matilda was enjoying playing with her presents. One of her favourites being the rocking horse that Mark had bought her knowing that she had developed a liking for the animal.

"Look Daddy" Matilda said as she stood on top of the horse rocking herself.

"Be careful Muffin" Mark said watching her perform her little trick.

"I am" she said holding on tight.

Meredith re-entered the lounge room after helping Addison prepare drinks in the kitchen and noticed what Matilda was doing.

"Mark watch her if she is going to do that" Meredith snapped, she was tired and exhausted.

"Meredith I am a responsible parent just like you, I am watching her I'm not going to let her fall" he snapped back at her not knowing why she was so moody.

"Mark that's not what I'm saying I'm just saying make sure she doesn't fall, do you have to take everything as criticism" she cried at him.

"Now you're arguing over this, seriously Meredith" Mark said raising his voice taking his eyes off Matilda. Just as he did Matilda rocked back too far causing her to fall backwards hitting her head hard on the ground and twisting her arm underneath her.

Meredith screamed and ran toward where the little girl lay crying. She glared at Mark as she assessed her daughter.


	14. Truth's Out

The chapter you have all been waiting for, mark fnds out about the baby. But who tells him and how does he react?? Read to find out! :D

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN: TRUTH'S OUT**

"I told you to watch her god damn it Mark" Meredith cried at her husband.

"Well maybe if you weren't criticising my parenting skills I would have been watching her" Mark yelled at his wife.

"Oh so it's my fault that my daughter could have a serious head injury because of a stupid toy that you bought her" Meredith shouted at him.

"Our daughter Meredith, god damn it she is our daughter" Mark shouted back as he ran his hand through his short brown hair.

"That's enough" Richard's voice boomed in the hospital waiting room where everyone was waiting news on Matilda. Neither Meredith nor Mark had been allowed to go through with as neither were in the right state of mind. She was in capable hands with Bailey.

"This is not helping my granddaughter" he continued with a sigh.

"Come on Mer let's go get some coffee or something" Addison said wrapping her arm around Meredith and leading her toward the cafeteria.

"I'll come too" Cristina announced following them.

"You need to breathe Mer" Addison said to Meredith as they sat at a table in the cafeteria. "I know you're scared and angry but the baby needs you too."

"I'm sick of hearing about the baby" Meredith said softly.

"You don't mean that Meredith" Cristina said. She wasn't used to dealing with this stuff but as Meredith's best friend she knew she needed her.

"He still doesn't know" Meredith said softly and then began to laugh. "It's quite comical really, I can't even tell my own husband that I am pregnant, no he won't notice when I get fat" Meredith continued sarcastically.

"Mer I know you have been told this a million times but you need to tell him, he needs to know, and you need to get it off your chest" Addison told her taking her hands in her own. "It's stressing you Meredith, and I want that baby to be nice and healthy" she said with a small smile.

Meredith nodded and brushed the tears away that had fallen from her painful green eyes. She heard the familiar sound of her cell phone.

"Hello" she answered.

"Mer, Bailey said you can go see Tilly now, she is here to explain everything" the voice of her mother told her.

"On my way" Meredith said flipping the phone shut. "Bailey is there to explain about Tilly" Meredith relayed the message before heading toward the waiting room.

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"She is okay" Bailey began. "There is no head injury but she does have a sprained wrist" Bailey told Meredith who stood with her arms wound safely around herself. "We want to keep her in overnight just to make sure there is no concussion.

"Thank you Dr Bailey" Meredith said sincerely to her mentor. "Can I go see her?"

"Of course you can" Bailey said softly giving Meredith's shoulder a squeeze.

"Are you coming?" Meredith asked Mark not looking up at him.

"Yeah" he said following her grateful that she was letting him.

"I'm sorry for blaming you" Meredith said softly.

"It's okay Mer, I get it you're protective of her, I was too busy arguing with you when I should have been watching her, I'm sorry too" he said genuinely giving her a small smile.

"Thanks" Meredith said as she entered into her daughter's room.

"Hey sweetie, it's okay now Mommy is here" she said pulling a chair up beside the bed where Matilda sat up.

"Mommy it hurts" Matilda said looking up at her mother, tears in her eyes. It broke Meredith's heart seeing her daughter in pain.

"I know baby, but it will be okay. Aunty Bailey is going to take good care of you" Meredith explained to her scared daughter.

"Daddy got you a bear" Mark said pulling a chair up on the opposite side of the bed, handing her the pink teddy he head gotten from the hospital kiosk.

"Thank you" Matilda said politely taking the bear. "Mommy when the baby is in hospital will it get a bear?" Matilda asked without thinking.

Meredith's breath caught in her throat, not knowing what to say. She looked at Mark who glared at her.

"Meredith you haven't told her there isn't going to be a baby" Mark whispered harshly at his wife.

"Daddy don't get mad, I wasn't supposed to say, sorry Mommy" Matilda said tears welling in her pretty blue eyes.

"Muffin, there isn't going to be a baby anymore" he said regretting the words. He remembered the look of excitement on Matilda's face the day they had told her that soon she could be a big sister.

"Yes there is, Mommy tell him. The baby is growing in Mommy's tummy" Matilda told her father looking at Meredith scared.

"It's okay baby" Meredith said kissing her daughter's hair reassuring her that it was alright that she had let the secret out.

"You're pregnant" Mark said realising what was happening. "You're having a baby and didn't think to tell me. You said you haven't had any time for dating so it's mine isn't it" he said his nostrils flaring as anger took over him.

Meredith just nodded she didn't know what to say.

"How long Meredith?" he asked his voice raising. "How long have you known and haven't bothered to tell me?"

"I was coming home to tell you the night I found you screwing the nanny" Meredith snapped at him bitterly. "Are you happy now?" she shouted. "I can't do this" Meredith said struggling to breathe. She kissed Matilda promising to be back later before running from the room. She ran straight past everyone in the waiting room all looking at her confused. She burst out into the fresh air grasping for air.

"What the hell have you done now?" Derek said livid as he saw Mark running down the hall. "Haven't you hurt her enough" he blared at his brother.

"Stay out of this Derek. You don't know shit" Mark shouted back at him.

"I'm going to check on Meredith" Cristina said wanting to avoid the conflict.

"This can't be good for the b…" Addison started but the stopped.

"Say it for the baby, yeah I know" Mark shouted. "And you all knew and didn't think I deserved to know" he yelled at them all. "Unbelievable" he shouted before turning and heading back towards Matilda's room not wanting to deal with anyone else.


	15. I Swear

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN: I SWEAR**

"Meredith honey, you need to breathe" Cristina said as she held her friend from behind in the hospital parking lot where she had found her.

"It hurts Cris" Meredith said between ragged breaths.

"I know it does" Cristina said soothing her. "Breathe for me."

They stood like that for some time as Meredith's breathing stabilised. She stood there breathing deeply looking up at the sky praying for a miracle.

"Are you ready to go back in now?" Cristina asked now standing beside her friend.

Meredith shook her head. "I can't go back there Cris" Meredith said softly.

"Meredith, Matilda needs you" Cristina tried convincing Meredith that running away wasn't the answer.

Meredith shook her head again. "She has everyone in there. I can't face them" she muttered.

"Okay" Cristina said not wanting to push her friend. "So where do you want to go? Want me to take you home?" Cristina asked.

Meredith shook her head then looked around her surroundings. A flashing neon sigh caught her eyes. 'Emerald City' it flashed.

"Let's go there" Meredith said she was in need of a drink and she didn't care if she was pregnant or not.

"Joe's, Mer that's a bar and you're pregnant" Cristina said convincing Meredith that she didn't want to go there.

"I know Cristina and right now I don't care, are you coming or not?" Meredith snapped making her way toward the bar.

"Like I am going to let you go alone" Cristina said knowing better than to argue with her friend despite she didn't think it was the best idea.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"It's not like I stopped loving him" Meredith slurred as she sat perched on the bar stool telling Joe the owner of the bar her life story. "Loving him is what makes it hurt" she continued.

"Well then isn't that your answer" Joe said wondering when he had become a counsellor opposed to a barman.

"Well no not really coz I have to think of my daughter and my baby" Meredith continued.

"But shouldn't you think about yourself as well" he said.

Meredith thought about it for a while. "But I'm nothing without them, but I need him too" she whispered.

"Mer are you ready to go yet?" Cristina groaned beside her. Watching her pregnant best friend get drunk wasn't exactly thrilling.

"Nope, I'm having fun" Meredith said as she sipped the water Joe had sat in front of her. He had decided to cut her off long ago.

"Everyone is worried where we are" Cristina said. Burke had already text her a million times asking about there whereabouts. She wasn't game to tell him they were at a bar. As if on cue her cell phone began ringing.

"Hello" Cristina answered not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Cristina it's Addison, where are you guys? Everyone is worried. Matilda is wondering where her mother is, she promised her she'd be back" Addison's voice came over the phone.

"We're at Joe's" Cristina muttered.

"Are you insane? How much has she had to drink?" Addison snapped clearly angry at Cristina for allowing it to happen.

"Have you ever tried saying no to Meredith, it doesn't work. She isn't drinking now, she is tipsy but she will be fine, I'm trying to convince her to go home" Cristina replied.

"Okay well call me later please, we're worried" Addison said before hanging up.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meredith rolled over in her bed not even remembering how she had got there. Her head pounded as she moved. She couldn't remember what she had done the night before but then it came flooding back. Matilda's accident, Mark finding out about the baby and then Joe's.

Cristina burst into the room just as Meredith was about to attempt to sit up. "Water, aspirin and your morning sickness meds" Cristina said handing them to her.

"What the hell was I thinking?" Meredith said with a sigh.

"You weren't its okay Mer, Addison has made you an appointment at the hospital tomorrow for a check up but she said the baby should be fine. And ah Mark is downstairs" Cristina added the last part softly.

"Does he know what happened last night?" Meredith asked hoping the answer was no.

Cristina nodded. "Everyone does Mer, he ah seems quite angry."

"Of course he is" Meredith said getting out of bed and wrapping her dressing gown around herself. "Time to face the music" she muttered making her way down the stairs.

"Meredith what the hell?" Mark began as she appeared.

"Stop! Don't start. I know I'm an idiot blah blah" Meredith said. "I feel bad enough as it is so please just don't" she said with a sigh.

"Okay" Mark said agreeing with the truce. "So how far along are you?" Mark asked referring to the pregnancy.

"Almost 13 weeks" Meredith replied softly.

"You're out of your first trimester already" Mark spoke back to his wife not knowing what else to say. "You could have told me Mer, I deserved to know" he said softly.

"I know you did, but the image was so fresh and I couldn't think about you without thinking about you sleeping with her."

"I didn't sleep with her Meredith" Mark said forcefully.

"Well then what do you call what I saw?' Meredith said suddenly getting worked up.

"We were fooling around, I mean we were going to but then you walked in and" Mark explained before Meredith cut him off.

"Before I walked in and ruined it. It doesn't change anything Mark, you were going to, you were going to break our marital vows with our daughter sleeping up the hall and I don't know if I can forgive you" Meredith said tears sliding down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry Meredith, I'm sorry that I hurt you this badly I was an idiot, I am an idiot and I don't blame you for not telling me anything but I want to be around, I want to be around for my daughter and my baby" Mark pleaded with his once loving wife.

"What are you saying Mark?" Meredith asked confused to where he was leading.

"I'm going to move to Seattle, I don't expect anything to happen between us but I can't stand being in a different state to my little girl, I will try and get a job at Mercy or at Seattle Pres but I am going to be here, I swear" Mark promised looking deep into Meredith's once shining green eyes.

"I need to go get ready to get Matilda from the hospital" Meredith said turning and making her way up the stairs not knowing what to say to her husband's declaration.


	16. Civilised Conversation

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN: CIVILISED CONVERSATION**

2 weeks had passed since Matilda's disastrous birthday party. Mark had returned to New York to tie up lose ends there before returning to Seattle. Richard had put their personal differences aside and had offered Mark the head of plastics position at Seattle Grace.

Meredith kept herself busy with work and caring for Matilda. All that had happened after Matilda's birthday had been forgotten and everything returned to the way it was.

Meredith sat in the locker room tying her laces ready for her shift to begin when her cell phone rang. She looked at the number curiously recognising it but not remembering who it was.

"Hello" she answered.

"Oh Meredith dear I caught you" the warm voice of Carolyn Shepherd came over the phone.

"Carolyn how are you?" Meredith asked a smile appearing on her face.

"I should be asking you that dear, Mark came to see me yesterday" she said suddenly annoyed at her adopted son.

"I'm fine thank you, we'll get through it" Meredith reassured her pseudo mother in law.

"Well I suggested to Mark that the three of you come for Christmas. I know it is a while away. Derek and Addison are coming and all the girls are coming home. It would be lovely to see you" the older woman invited.

"Oh um that's a lovely offer but I'm not sure" Meredith began searching for an excuse.

"Meredith, no matter what is going on between you and Mark you and Matilda are welcome here" Carolyn reassured the younger woman.

"Thank you Carolyn, I will let you know" Meredith said hanging up just as Bailey entered the locker room.

"You are all nearing the end of your second year of residency and almost entering into your third. Not only is it almost time to pick your specialities it is also near the time for the chief to choose one of you to perform your first solo surgery. So keep your heads down" Bailey bossed as she entered the locker room.

"Now move" she shouted. "Dr Grey can I speak to you?" Bailey surprised Meredith by this, she wasn't sure what she had done.

"Yes Dr Bailey?" Meredith asked warily.

"I just wanted to check how you are doing. It's been a packed couple of weeks" Bailey asked. This was her one downfall she always became attached to certain residents below her and Meredith she had attached more than usual.

"I'm fine" Meredith replied almost meaning it for once. She was scared as hell as to what was going to happen with Mark returning and the shared custody arrangement they had agreed to.

"Well when you aren't fine you know you can talk to me" Bailey said sincerely. "Now go find your attending" she said getting serious.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meredith found Derek down in the pit assessing an elderly couple who had been in an accident.

"Sorry I'm late I was speaking with Bailey" Meredith said as she approached him.

"It's fine, is everything okay?" he asked knowing no-one just talked to Bailey for the fun of it.

"Yeah she just wanted to know how I was getting on with everything" Meredith replied telling the truth.

"Oh okay" Derek replied. "I need you to run these labs for me and check on my post op patients" Derek told his some what sister in law.

"Okay just so you know I have an appointment with Addison at 12" Meredith told Derek before she turned and headed off to do what he had asked of her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

12 o'clock come around fast, Meredith had been kept busy with Derek's patients and had even scrubbed in. She was heading in search of Addison when her phone rang in her lab coat pocket.

She looked at the ID and saw Mark flashing across the screen.

"Hi" she answered the phone with the hint of a smile.

"Hey Mer, I wasn't sure if you would answer, didn't know if you would be in surgery or not" Mark said surprised that he had caught her.

"Nah just finished in surgery, I have my appointment with Addie" Meredith told him as she continued looking for Addison.

"Oh that's right, I wish I could be there for it" Mark said softly.

"There will be plenty more" Meredith assured him. "So what can I do for you?" Meredith asked as she spotted Addison.

"Oh so I went and saw Mom yesterday" Mark began.

"Hang on a sec" Meredith spoke into the receiver.

"Hey Addie still got time for my check up" Meredith asked walking along beside Addison.

"Yeah of course, come on through" Addison said leading Meredith into the exam room.

"Sorry I'm back" Meredith spoke into the receiver.

"It's okay, yeah so Mom said I'm an idiot and that we should come for Christmas" Mark told her nervous to what her reaction was going to be.

"I know, she called me this morning" Meredith admitted to her husband as Addison prepped her for the ultrasound.

"Oh what did you tell her?" he asked curious to whether they would be spending Christmas with his family.

"I told her I would let her know, it's still 2 months away Mark" Meredith explained.

"Okay well I will let you get on with the appointment, print me a picture" Mark said with a smile, the thought of another child made him smile but bringing it into the world with the way him and Meredith were almost didn't seem fair.

"Okay bye" Meredith said hanging up the phone.

"Sorry Addie" Meredith said now giving Addison her full attention.

"Did I just witness a civilised conversation?" Addison joked.

"We've been getting on okay" Meredith admitted. "We're okay like this, for now" Meredith added.

"You two will work this out, you always do" Addison said having complete faith that the couple will get through this.

"I hope so" Meredith confessed. "As much as I hate him sometimes I can't help but love him."

"Just take your time Mer, take it slow and see what happens" Addison advised her friend. "Now let's see that baby" Addison said with a smile.

"Yeah, and Mark wants a picture" Meredith said with a smile, a real genuine smile.


	17. Can't Do This

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: CAN'T DO THIS **

"So first day, excited?" Meredith asked Mark as she saw him at the third floor nurse's station where she had returned a chart. She had already finished rounds and was preparing for her long shift.

"Yeah I guess, it's different here to New York though" Mark admitted nervously. "Mount Sinai was the only place I had ever worked Mer, I don't even know the people here."

"Neither did I when I first came, but everyone is really nice, you'll see" Meredith said with a warm smile. "At least you get your own office" she said attempting to lighten the mood.

"You mean that rectangular room that Richard calls an office" Mark scoffed with a grin.

Meredith laughed. "Okay so it's not as great as New York but you'll like it here Mark, I promise" Meredith said sincerely reaching down for her pager to look at the page she had just received.

"I have to go, I'm needed in the pit, but have a good day and have fun with Tilly tonight, I hate being on call" Meredith said beginning to walk away.

"See you later" he called out after her watching as she broke out in a run. He headed toward his office to start getting settled in there. The plastics department needed a lot of work.

xxxxxxxxxx

"How are you handling Mark being here?" Cristina asked Meredith as she sat with her, Derek and Addison to have lunch.

"It's going okay so far. It's good to have him here for Tilly, like tonight I'm on call it saves a lot of shuffling" Meredith explained knowing that's not exactly what Cristina had meant.

"He is living in a hotel room Mer, do you think it's appropriate for him to take Matilda there, you know we have no issue taking her" Addison said looking at Meredith. She was unable to have children of her own but they were content in knowing that. They had talked about adoption but it wouldn't be the same, and with their busy surgeon schedules they figured it wouldn't be easy.

"I know Addie and thank you but he's her Dad and he has missed her. I trust him with her" Meredith admitted as she took a bite from her sandwich.

"How are you being civil with him Mer? He may be my brother but he is an idiot, I just can't believe you are forgiving him" Derek ranted no longer being able to hold in his thoughts.

"Nothing has been said about forgiveness Der, he is here for Matilda and for the baby, and it's easier being civil, Matilda shouldn't have to grow up the way I did" Meredith snapped at her brother in law.

"Derek that's enough, this is between Meredith and Mark, what they choose to do with their relationship is none of your business" Addison chastised her husband. She couldn't believe how meddling he could be some times.

"It's okay Add" Meredith said looking up. "I have to get going" she said looking at her watch realising she should have been back to her patients long ago.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You paged me" Meredith said with a small smile as she stood in the door way of Mark's new Seattle Grace office.

"Ah yeah, come in" Mark said inviting her into the office, well the small space that was supposed to be an office, it was sure going to take some getting used to.

"What's up?" Meredith asked curiously wondering why he had paged her.

"I ah just spoke with the real estate agent back in New York, they've found a buyer for the house and they are willing to pay quite a bit more than our asking price, I thought I would check with you before going through with it" Mark said looking up from the paper work he had been dumped with on his first day.

"Oh" was all Meredith said. "Just do what you think is best" she said biting down on her bottom lip. "You're better at this kind of stuff than I am."

"Meri it was your home too" he said softly standing up from his desk so he now stood in front of her. He watched as she protectively wrapped her arms around herself.

"I know, but it holds the one thing I really want to forget" she said tears welling in her eyes. Every day it was getting easier to see Mark without the image that had been etched into her mind.

"So that's a yes go through with it" Mark asked wanting a definite answer from her before going ahead and getting rid of a huge part of their life together.

Meredith nodded her response. As much as she loved the brownstone in New York there was no need for it anymore. She had no intentions of returning to their old life. Her life was in Seattle now and if Mark wanted to be a part of it then he would too need to adjust to the new surroundings.

Mark let out a sigh, reaching to brush hair away from Meredith's face he smiled as she let out a slight shiver. She still reacted to his touch, his heart leapt at the thought.

"What are you going to do with the money?" Meredith asked suddenly realising that the asking price for the house was already a lot considering they were leaving all the furnishings.

"It's our money Mer, that's something we need to decide together" Mark replied softly running the back of his hand down the soft silky skin of Meredith's cheek.

Meredith nodded again not knowing what to say. It was all a shock to her. That house had been their home, one that had been filled with so many great memories but the most recent memory that it held was still too painful. Meredith looked up into Mark's grey eyes. She couldn't help but love him but at the same time she still couldn't move past what had happened.

Mark moved his face closer to Meredith. She could feel his warm breath on her lips. She wanted more than anything for his lips to crash against hers, for him to kiss away all the pain she felt.

"I can't do this" she whispered as his lips were millimetres from hers. "Sorry" she said softly before fleeing the room. Mark stood there confused, her heart was saying yes but her head was still saying no.


	18. Desperate Call

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: DESPERATE CALL**

"Dr Grey…..Dr Grey are you with us?" Meredith snapped out of her thoughts as she heard the authoritative voice of her chief resident Dr Bailey shouting at her. She looked around her surroundings and realised she was down in the pit, a car crash victim lying on a gurney in front of her and she was off in her own world.

"Sorry Dr Bailey, what have we got?" she asked shaking her head clearing herself of the thoughts she had been having. She couldn't get her almost kiss with Mark out of her head. She was so near to giving into him, she could still feel his warm breath tingling on her lips, her heart had leapt at him telling her to just go for it but then her head told her to run that he would only hurt her again.

"VMA, chest and head injury, get him to CT and MRI and get Shepherd down here for a consult.

"Right away" she answered hurrying off to complete the tasks she had been given. She had to move past her thoughts of Mark and be professional, this was her career.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meredith sighed as she scrubbed out of the 6 hour surgery she had just been in with Derek. Her feet and back ached and she was beyond tired. She had forgotten how difficult it had been being a pregnant surgeon.

"You alright Mer?" Derek asked concerned noticing the contemplative look on her face. "You did well in there" he praised her.

"Thanks Der, I'm fine just tired, I can't have coffee to keep me awake and I still have a long way to go until my shift is over" she complained to her friend.

"Why don't you go and try catching some sleep, I'm sure I can handle this from here" Derek told her, he couldn't bear the thought of her being over exhausted especially with the extra stress that pregnancy put on her body as it was.

"Thanks" she said with an appreciative smile. She checked her pager before heading for an on call room to get some much needed sleep.

It was just after midnight and Meredith had drifted into a comfortable sleep. It wasn't a deep sleep but she was resting. She jerked up at the shrill sound of her cell phone. Thankfully there was no-one else in the on call room that she was using.

"Hello" she answered sleepily not even thinking to look at the caller ID.

"Meredith thank god, I wasn't sure if you would answer with being on call and all that but just thank god" Mark's desperate voice came over the phone.

"Mark, what the hell, it's like midnight" Meredith yawned sitting up on the bed confused to why he would be calling her so late.

"Sorry it's just, Matilda is like screaming for you and I don't know what to do, she woke up and she's scared or something, I don't think she likes it here" Mark breathed at his wife.

Meredith ran her hands through her unruly bed hair. She didn't know what she could do. It was the first night Matilda had spent at the hotel, usually if Meredith had to be on call Izzie would look after her or she would go stay with Addison.

"Calm down, if you're worked up she isn't going to settle, have you given her some water, she dehydrates when she is like this" Meredith asked as she tried to think of a way to calm her young daughter.

"This has happened before?" Mark asked horrified.

"Yes, well a few times, she doesn't like being separated from me Mark, it's scary for a 3 year old to be dragged across state, she is passed around because of my crazy hours, usually she calms down" Meredith admitted trying to think. "Where is she, why can't I hear her?" Meredith asked suddenly realising she couldn't hear screaming.

"I'm out in the hall, she is still in the room, she's fine" he reassured knowing Meredith would jump at him for leaving her alone.

"Put her on the phone" Meredith said not knowing what else to do.

"Muffin, Mommy is on the phone, she wants to talk to you" Mark said softly to his young daughter as she sat bundled on the bed crying for her mother.

The little girl nodded reaching for the phone.

"Mom…mmy" the little girl hiccupped.

"Aww sweetie, it's okay, what's wrong?" Meredith's heart broke as she heard the broken crying of her little princess.

"I….want…you" Matilda cried.

"I know sweetie, but Mommy has to work" Meredith said softly she hated these nights where she had to be away from her. "We can spend tomorrow together but you have to be good now and go to sleep for Daddy" Meredith tried convincing her just as her pager beeped loudly beside her

"Okay, promise?" the little girl squeaked at her mother.

"I promise" Meredith replied. "Now put Daddy back on the phone and get some sleep, when you wake up Daddy will bring you back to me" Meredith told the sleepy little girl. "I love you."

"Hey, whatever you said she is settling already, what kind of father can't calm their own daughter" Mark ranted.

"Don't worry about it; I got to go I'm being paged if she gets upset remind her that she promised, she will know what I'm talking about" Meredith said before hanging up.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"What part of when I page you run didn't you understand Dr Grey" Bailey blasted as Meredith appeared in the room to which she had been paged.

"Sorry I had a situation" Meredith apologised.

"What kind of situation stops you from answering your damn pager?" she small woman asked, clearly she too had been woken.

"The kind where my 4 year old daughter screams for her mother and her father can't calm her down so much that he called me desperate" Meredith replied pulling her hair into a loose pony tail.

"Everything alright now?" Bailey asked her mood softening at the thought of the little girl she held a special spot for.

Meredith nodded her response and began taking control of the case before her keeping her mind off the little girl tucked up in her father's hotel room.


	19. Everything To Me

**CHAPTER NINETEEN: EVERYTHING TO ME**

Meredith slumped herself down on the bench in the locker room and looked up at the ceiling. It had been a hell of a shift; she had only managed a total of 2 hours sleep in the 24 hour shift.

"Tough night?" Cristina asked as she changed ready to begin her own shift as Meredith finished hers.

"To say the least, I scrubbed in on 2 surgeries though so not all bad" Meredith said with a small smile.

"I would kill for a good surgery today" Cristina grouched.

Meredith raised her eyebrow questioningly at her friend. By the look on her face she knew something was up.

"Your brother is an idiot" Cristina supplied simply.

"What's he done now?" Meredith asked with a small giggle getting up to begin changing her clothes to drive home.

"He wants to set a date" Cristina said quietly.

"What the problem with that?" Meredith asked. "Generally people get engaged to get married" Meredith continued.

"I don't know if I want to get married" Cristina said honestly. "It just seems like a waste, do two people really need a big ceremony and a piece of paper to prove that they love each other" Cristina ranted.

"I guess not but Preston, he's always been the serious, married with 2.3 children and a house with a white picket fence kind of guy" Meredith said with a giggle knowing how silly that sounded.

"Well that's not me" Cristina admitted. "How did you know you wanted to get married?" Cristina asked curiously realising that she didn't really know anything about Meredith's marriage except that she was indeed married.

"The moment that Mark got down on one knee with this beautiful ring I had no doubt" Meredith said looking down at the 2 rings that occupied her finger.

"How long have you been married?" Cristina asked, Meredith never talked about this stuff, she usually shut it out completely when someone asked.

"Almost 5 years" Meredith replied quietly thankful when her cell phone interrupted the conversation.

She looked at the ID and was surprised to see that it was Mark.

"I was just talking about you" she said with a smirk.

"Ah all good things I hope" Mark joked taking advantage of the happier mood Meredith seemed to be in. "How'd the shift go?" he asked.

"It was busy, I haven't slept" Meredith said yawning to prove her point. "Why are you calling so early is everything okay?" she asked realising it was 7am.

"Yeah it's fine Matilda has been awake for about 30 mins asking when she can see you so I thought I would call and see how long you'd be, I don't have to be at the hospital until 9" he replied.

"Oh well I am just leaving now, I just want to have a hot bath and loosen up some muscles so give me ½ hour then bring her round" Meredith answered.

"Okay see you then" Mark said hanging up the phone and relaying what Meredith had told him to his hopeful daughter. She had seemed to get rather attached to Meredith lately considering she used to barely see her.

"Grey home sleep" Bailey's dominant voice busted into the locker room.

"I'm leaving right now" Meredith said grabbing her things and saying goodbye to the others.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meredith couldn't believe how good the warm water felt swishing around her tightened muscles from the two surgeries she had been in during the night. She could feel herself loosening up and relaxing as the warm oiled water worked wonders on her tired body. She wouldn't be able to keep up the long hours for too much longer with the pregnancy progressing. She was already 16 weeks. Almost half way.

She ran her hand over her stomach which was beginning to fill out. Soon she would be showing off a small little bump. She couldn't help let a little smile drift to her lips at the thought of holding her new little baby. She leant her head back against the bath pillow, closing her eyes enjoyed the peace.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Mer" Mark called out opening the door to the house with the hide key he had told her about. He had knocked for some time but she hadn't answered so he let himself in. He knew she was home because her car was parked in the drive.

"Meredith we're here" he called again but yet again no response came.

"Tilly stay down here and watch the TV" Mark said worrying about his wife's whereabouts. He set Matilda up on the couch with her favourite movie at the moment – 'Cinderella' before making his way upstairs.

He checked the bedroom wondering if she had fallen asleep waiting for them, but then he remembered she mentioned wanting to take a bath. His heart leapt in his chest at that thought. She was clearly exhausted and the thought of her lying in the bath submerged in water etched into his mind.

He took a deep breath and opened the door to the bathroom slightly. He let out a sigh if relief when he saw her head still out of the water, he walked closer to her noticing that she was indeed asleep. He felt the water which was now too cold.

Mark reached for the large fluffy towel that she had set out and leant over and nudged her softly. "Meri" he called softly. "Meredith" he said slightly louder shaking her.

He smiled as she jumped up clearly startled. "Mark what the hell" she squealed, sinking down in the water so she wasn't exposed.

"Too late for modesty Mer, I've already seen that body" Mark said with a small smirk. "What were you thinking getting in the bath that exhausted anyway?" he lectured changing the subject.

"I'm fine, nothing happened, I don't usually fall asleep like that" Meredith defended herself.

"You could have drowned" Mark pointed out holding out the towel for Meredith to get out of the tub and wrap around herself.

"But I didn't" she said shivering as Mark wrapped the towel around her. Sparks of electricity felt like they were shooting through her as he rubbed her back. "You worry too much" she barely whispered as her body pressed against his.

"I can't help it Mer, you're everything to me" he said softly wiping a droplet of water from her cheek. He leant down slowly waiting for her to pull away but he was surprised when she didn't. Instead she reached up and caught his lips in hers, pressing herself against him in the most intense kiss he had ever had.


	20. Wanting To Try

**CHAPTER TWENTY: WANTING TO TRY**

Meredith had successfully avoided Mark and the topic of the captivating kiss they had shared for 3 days now. She hadn't been able to get the image of the kiss, and doing so much more, out of her head. It was driving her insane how much she wanted her husband. She wasn't sure whether it was because of the pregnancy hormones or the affect he had on her.

"Meredith are you even listening to me?" Cristina snapped as they sat in the kitchen of Meredith's house.

"Well honestly no" Meredith answered being honest, Cristina would have seen through any lie she tried to pull.

"Wow that was easy" Cristina commented, usually it took more pushing to get Meredith to admit it. "Wanna tell me why?" Cristina tried hoping that it would be just as easy. And it proved to be.

"I kissed Mark, well he kissed me, we kissed" she rambled.

"Wow so you kissed" Cristina sniggered not getting what the big deal was. It was obvious to anyone that their physical attraction was there. They sure had chemistry.

"It was the most amazing kiss, he was being so kind, and I just kissed him, and now I'm confused" Meredith rambled again.

"Well the way I see it is you two love each other, he made a mistake, and he's sorry why not give it another try" Cristina offered her wisdom.

"What will everyone think? She's so weak that she can't even be apart from him for 4 months" Meredith exclaimed.

"Stuff what they think Mer, this is between you and your husband, I know Burke won't be happy but what matters is that you are happy" Cristina said even surprising herself with her sincerity. "Crap I'm turning into Izzie" she exclaimed.

Meredith laughed. "I want my husband back, but I don't know if we can go back" Meredith said sadly.

"You won't know if you don't try, why deny the inevitable, I have seen you two together Mer, he is crazy about you, just the way he looks at you" Cristina spoke sincerely, she couldn't see why Meredith should sacrifice her own happiness in fear of what her family and friends would say. It was her life.

"Thanks Cris but I'm afraid that it won't work out and then Matilda is left even more confused. It's hard when you have a child to consider" Meredith reasoned still no closer on knowing what she was going to do.

"I guess, and another one on the way" Cristina said nodding her head toward Meredith's stomach.

"Yeah" Meredith said softly her hand caressing her stomach. She jumped as she heard the door open.

"Only me Mer" Mark called out Matilda still blabbering away. He had taken Matilda to the park and then to her favourite place- the toy store.

"Hey baby" Meredith said as Matilda ran into the kitchen and jumped into her arms.

"Hi Mommy, hello Aunty Cristina" she said greeting them. "Look what Daddy bought me" she said holding up a new teddy bear.

"Another one" Meredith exclaimed. "Mark she has enough" she said turning her attention to where he stood smiling in the doorway.

"Can never have too many bears hey Muffin" Mark said still smiling at the way Matilda caught Meredith's attention. It had been so long since he had seen them interact like this. Once Meredith had become distanced she kept herself away from Matilda too, it was like it hurt her to have only one child.

"Okay someone really needs to explain the whole Muffin nickname" Cristina blurted out suddenly. It's all she had heard since Mark had arrived in Seattle and it had always intrigued her but now she wanted answers.

Mark let out a laugh before speaking. "When Mer was pregnant with Tilly all she craved was muffins, all kinds, she would send me out at 3am for new muffins because she didn't like the flavours we already had" Mark told Cristina with a sparkle in his eye. "So muffin kind of suited."

"What are you going to call this one Mer?" Cristina asked sarcastically.

"Nothing yet, I haven't had many cravings" Meredith admitted looking up at Mark giving him a knowing smile.

"Well I have to get going; I told Burke I would meet him for lunch before my shift. When are you in next?" Cristina spoke getting up from where she was seated.

"Not until in the morning thankfully" Meredith responded with a sigh. "I will see you later" Meredith said watching Cristina leave.

"I guess I should get going too, let you two spend some time together" Mark said preparing himself to leave.

Meredith got up from her seat as she spoke lifting Matilda down as she did. "You don't have to go" Meredith said thinking it was now or never. "I ah actually wanted to talk to you" she continued nervously.

"Sweetie how about you go play in your room" Meredith spoke to her young daughter and watched as she happily skipped off to play.

"Is this about the kiss, because I'm sorry Mer, I know you said that you couldn't do this but then we were kissing and…" Mark rambled but was cut off by Meredith's lips pressed tightly against his.

She stood back and smiled. "Shut up" she said with a smirk.

"I don't know what it is about you Mark Sloan but you make me feel like I never have before. You made a mistake, hell I made some too but I'm willing to move past it, slowly" she said looking up at him searching his face for a response.

"What are you saying Mer?" he asked slightly confused to exactly what his beautiful wife was saying.

"I'm saying I want us" she said taking his hands in her own. "I want us to be a family and I want us to be happy. It's going to take some time, and we have to take it slow because I don't know if I trust you completely yet but I want to try" she emphasised to him.

"I want to try too Mer, my life is empty without you, having Matilda fills a small part of my hole but you, you Meredith are more than I could have ever dreamt over" he said wrapping his arms around her growing waist. He dipped his head to meet her lips and softly kissed her.

"I love you" she whispered before reaching up and kissing him again. Now all they had to do was to explain it to everyone else and move past everything that had happened.


	21. Old Memories

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: OLD MEMORIES**

"Hmm this is nice" Meredith sighed as she snuggled into Mark on the couch almost a week after their reconciliation. They had been keeping it to themselves with good reason; they wanted a chance to rediscover each other before revealing their advancement. They had put Matilda to bed and now snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie.

"This, I have definitely missed this" Mark agreed breathing in his wife's hair, his arms protectively wrapped around her stomach that had now formed a small bump. It was only really noticeable when she wore tight clothing.

"What time do you have to be at the hospital tomorrow?" she asked tiredly thinking it was time for her to be in bed.

"Don't have a surgery until 11" he replied simply.

"I have to be there at 6 for pre rounds so I should probably head to bed, so you should get going" Meredith said resting her head on his chest with a sigh. It felt so right being back in his arms but she wasn't completely ready to go back to the way they were so Mark was still living at the hotel.

"Yeah so I will see you tomorrow" he said getting up pulling Meredith's body up against his.

"Definitely" Meredith replied as Mark leant down and kissed her lips softly. "Love you" she whispered. She watched him leave before heading upstairs and snuggling down into bed. It still felt so different to sleep alone.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ellis Grey stood and looked at the OR board. It was a quiet board. And everyone knew that a quiet board generally meant trouble. Especially being so close to the holiday season. Thanksgiving was only a week away and then 6 weeks after that was Christmas. The thought reminded Ellis that she was yet to ask Meredith her plans for Christmas. She had heard that she was invited to New York to the Shepherd's but hadn't heard whether she had made her decision.

"Quiet board" Richard noted coming to stand beside his wife snapping her from her thoughts.

"Yeah it is, but it will be fine" Ellis told her husband, unsure of whether she was convincing him or herself.

"Are you alright?" he asked concerned noting the look on her face.

"Yeah I was just thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas, everyone is coming for Thanksgiving I'm just not sure what Meredith is doing for Christmas, it used to be easy to know what her plans would be" she said sadly still upset by the way her daughter's marriage had ended up.

"It will be fine, Meredith is a strong woman, she can handle this" Richard assured his wife, dropping a kiss on her cheek. "I have to get going I have a meeting to get to, I will see you later" he said before heading off. Ellis watched as he walked off almost colliding with a fast moving blonde woman that she recognised immediately.

"Meredith what on earth are you doing?" Ellis exclaimed at her daughter. She was still wearing her street clothes and had Matilda perched on her hip as she hurried.

"God I am so late, I have to get Tilly to day care and get changed" Meredith rambled at her mother.

"Here give me my granddaughter, I will make sure she gets to day care, you go and change. Why are you so late?" Ellis asked taking note of the time, it wasn't like Meredith to be running late.

"Morning sickness" Meredith replied simply. It seemed to be getting worse as the pregnancy progressed. "But thank you, I will see you later" she said before taking off again.

"Looks like it just me and you kiddo" Ellis sighed to her small granddaughter who still seemed to be half asleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Dr Grey care to explain why you are so damn late" Bailey boomed as Meredith ran into the locker room and began stripping off to change into her scrubs.

"Damn morning sickness, and Matilda wouldn't get up and it's just not a good morning" Meredith rambled at her boss.

"Well hurry up, rounds in 3 minutes" she barked at everyone.

Meredith sighed beginning to get the feeling it was going to be a long day.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ellis still stood in front of the board explaining all the different procedures to Matilda who listened so intently to what her grandmother was saying. Ellis knew that Matilda would follow in her family's footsteps she was already very intelligent.

"What's that one Nana?" Matilda asked pointing to a word on the board.

"That's an appendectomy" Ellis answered. "Your Mommy had one of those" Ellis told the inquisitive little girl.

"Does it hurt?" Matilda asked suddenly horrified.

"No Mommy is all better now" Ellis assured her forgetting how sensitive the young girl could be.

"This always was the one spot you could be found" a small male voice spoke to Ellis interrupting her from her explanation to Matilda.

"What are you doing here?" Ellis asked shocked, recognising this face of the small man immediately.

"My ah daughter Molly was admitted, she's pregnant" the man replied not making eye contact.

"Well I see you have priorities with at least one of your daughters Thatcher" Ellis snapped at her ex husband.

"I don't know what to say to you Ellis" Thatcher said looking down at his shoes. "This brings back memories, you standing in front of the OR board holding a little girl" Thatcher said with a small smile.

"Nana whose that?" the little girl whispered to her grandmother as she hid her face in her chest.

"It's okay Angel" Ellis whispered to her kissing her hair.

Thatcher's eyes widening in realisation. "That's Meredith's little girl" he gasped. "Last time I saw you; you said she was in New York, that she had a life there" Thatcher continued.

"Things change Thatcher, she has had a bad time but you would know that if you bothered to stick around long enough to be part of her life, but I guess you have your new family now" Ellis spat at the small man. She could never forgive him for the way he has treated Meredith, not only when she was a small child but also as she has grown into a woman.

"Ellis…" he began.

"I have to go, my granddaughter needs to get to day care and I have work to do" Ellis snapped turning to walk away from the one man who had hurt her and Meredith. She only hoped that he would have enough sense to stay away from Meredith, she was in a fragile state as it was.


	22. Dad

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: DAD**

"Hey Addie" Meredith greeted her friend and assigned attending as she made her way up to the OB floor. She had narrowly missed a revving from Bailey yet again about her lateness. It seemed that morning sickness was no longer a plausible excuse.

"Hey Mer, are you alright?" she asked taking in Meredith's pale and flustered complexion.

"Yeah I was late again, those meds you gave me aren't working, I think it might be stress as well though" Meredith admitted to her.

"Oh I guess the whole thing with Mark still can't be good for the baby, you have another appointment soon so I will check it all out then" Addison noticing the smile that appeared on Meredith's face at the mention of her estranged husband's name. "Meredith why are you smiling?" she asked curious a smile cracking on her own face.

"Oh nothing, I just remembered something that was funny" Meredith lied quickly hoping Addison wouldn't see through it. But she knew her better than that and cursed herself as she noticed Addison's eyes widen.

"Something happened between you and Mark didn't it" she exclaimed. "Something good" she continued grinning.

"Fine" Meredith sighed. "But you can't say anything to anyone because I haven't told Mom or Dad and we are just seeing what happens, nothing is decided" Meredith warned her friend.

"Okay I swear now, tell me all" Addison said sipping at her coffee.

"Well we kissed, and it just happened out of no-where I was tired from working late shifts, he had been so good with taking Tilly for me and something stirred inside me. I realised I can't live without him" Meredith confessed with a smile.

"So are you two back together or what?" Addison asked confused to what their exact current status was.

"We are taking it slow, reconnecting I guess, he is still staying at the hotel, so yeah slow" Meredith answered still smiling.

"Well I must say you seem a lot happier" Addison said hugging her friend. "Now I need you to monitor my patient in 2345, Molly Thompson, she is 30 weeks pregnant and having contractions, I have managed to stop them for now, hopefully we don't have to deliver that baby I would like to see it in there a while longer" Addison advised turning into professional mode.

"Sure, I will page you if there is any change" Meredith told Addison before heading off to the patient.

"Hi Molly, I'm Dr Grey, Dr Montgomery has asked me to monitor you so I just want to take some bloods, check your blood pressure and I want you to let me know if there are any contractions or you feel any discomfort" Meredith said as she entered the room. She smiled at the older woman who sat beside her the young woman, she guessed it was her mother.

"Is my baby going to be okay? Because it's too early and my husband is overseas oh god" Molly cried to Meredith.

"Okay Molly I need you to stay calm, stress could bring on labour again so I need you to be as calm as possible to ensure that your baby is staying in there" Meredith soothed the young woman.

"Dr Grey is it?" the older woman asked.

"Yes it is" Meredith replied looking at the woman. Meredith suddenly felt uncomfortable with the way she was looking at her, it seemed as if she knew her.

"How is everything?" she asked referring to the blood pressure and temperature that Meredith had just taken.

"It all seems fine for now, if there is any change buzz for a nurse and have them page me" Meredith told them before making her way out of the room to check on her other patients.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey you" Mark whispered in Meredith's ear coming up behind her as she stood looking at the OR board. She was tired of the looks that Molly's mother had been giving her and avoided the room as much as she could. "How is your day going?" he asked.

"Its okay" Meredith replied unenthused. "I have a weird patient, well her mother is weird" Meredith continued.

"Oh how so?" Mark asked.

"Just the way she looks at me, she looks at me as if she knows me but I have no idea who she is" Meredith replied rolling her neck.

"I'm sure it's nothing" Mark reassured her. "Do you have time to grab a bite to eat, we could get muffin from day care" Mark offered.

"I have time to eat but I don't have time to get Tilly, I could be paged by my OB patient at any time, she was having contractions, they've stopped for now but she is high risk of pre term labour" Meredith explained.

"Well just us" he said with a smile silently wishing that she would be more willing to be open about their rekindling.

"So I was thinking we could tell Mom and Dad at thanksgiving" Meredith said as she picked at her salad.

"Tell them what?" Mark asked as if returned from a daydream he had been having.

"About us" Meredith said with a smile.

"Seriously" Mark exclaimed grinning. If they weren't in the middle of the cafeteria he would have picked her up off the ground and hugged her.

"Yeah I think its time we told them, Addie knows, she noticed I was in a good mood and pressed for answers so I told her" Meredith continued before she was cut off by her pager. "Gotta go, talk to you later" Meredith said before hurrying off.

Meredith ran to room 2345 where Molly was as quickly as possible. The nurse had paged her 911 so she presumed that meant that Molly was most likely going into labour. Meredith burst into the room quickly taking charge, it only took a few moments for her to realise that Molly was indeed in labour and this time there was nothing they could do to stop it this time.

Meredith turned once the situation was under control and met a face that she hadn't seen in many years.

"Meredith" the man gasped suddenly taking in the woman she had become.

"Dad" Meredith breathed completely shocked she stood there and just stared.


	23. Don't Need You

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: DON'T NEED YOU**

"Meredith I know this is a shock" Thatcher began as he stood beside Meredith where she was looking at the tiny babies through the window. One of them was now her niece from a sister she didn't even know she had.

"A shock, this is more than a shock, you have a whole new family, one where there was no room for me, I was your first daughter, I loved you" Meredith ranted at him not taking her eyes of the small babies.

"Meredith it was difficult…" Thatcher began before being cut off by Meredith.

"Difficult, it can't be that difficult, we moved to Boston so Mom could be away from you after what you did to her, you could have tried to contact her for my sake" Meredith cried.

"It isn't that easy Meredith, you don't understand" Thatcher tried to explain.

"I understand completely, you didn't want me, if you wanted me you would have tried, I left my husband 4 months ago. I picked up my daughter and left" Meredith continued to cry. "But he is a good father, he came looking for us just so he could see his daughter, he knew I wasn't ready to forgive him but he didn't want our daughter to grow up like me" Meredith continued becoming quite distraught.

"Meredith I'm sorry, I just… I didn't know what to do" Thatcher tried to apologise but the words he wanted to say were nowhere to be found.

"It's too late for sorry, enjoy your life with your two perfect daughters and your granddaughter because you are missing out a really great little girl and another one on the way" Meredith spat at him rubbing her stomach. "They have a grandfather, and I have a father, I don't need you" she said spitefully before turning and walking away tears running down her cheeks.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Mark looked up from his paperwork he was working on from his desk to see Meredith standing there, she had clearly been crying. Without hesitation he jumped out of his chair and wrapped his arms around her closing the door as he held her tightly. His heart broke as she let out a sob.

"Meri, baby, what's wrong?" he asked concerned to what had made her so upset.

"He's here and he doesn't want me" she sobbed against him clenching her hands tightly into a bunch of his scrub shirt.

"Who is here honey?" he asked confused to what she was talking about. She was clearly upset over something serious. "You need to calm down so I can understand what you are saying" he continued.

Meredith took a deep breath and stepped away from Mark. She wiped away her tears then began to talk. "Thatcher is here" she started wiping away another tear.

"Oh baby I'm so sorry" Mark said instantly reacting to her words.

"Oh that's not the half of it, he has a new family, one that doesn't include me" she explained.

"Oh Mer I'm sure he didn't say that" Mark said wrapping his arms his wife's small frame again.

"He didn't have to Mark, the way he looked at me, you know my OB patient" she asked and watched as Mark nodded his head before she continued. "Turns out she is my half sister, the baby I helped deliver is my niece" Meredith sobbed.

"I'm sorry honey" Mark soothed rubbing small circles on her back he never did like Thatcher and he had never met the man.

"It's okay I told him that he can have his family because I have mine and I am perfectly happy with it, it just hurts to know that he built a whole new family and they don't even know about me" she cried.

"Well at least you told him what you thought of it all Mer, but you can't beat yourself up over this, like you said you have a family Mer and a damn good one" Mark told his wife.

"I know and I'm sorry for all this, I guess I was all upset over nothing" Meredith apologised resting her head on Mark's chest as she snuggled up against him.

"It wasn't over nothing baby but you're okay now" Mark replied as he kissed his wife's hair.

Meredith reached up and kissed him softly on the lips only to be interrupted by the beeping of her pager.

"It's Mom I got to go, see you later" Meredith said giving him one last peck on the lips before going in search of her mother.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey Mom" Meredith greeted as she made her way into Richard's office where both her parents had been waiting for her.

"Hi sweetheart come sit down" Richard said kissing his daughter on the cheek.

"What's up?" Meredith asked as she sat down next to Ellis, she was curious to why both her parents would want to see her. She worried that perhaps they had somehow found out about her reconciliation with Mark.

"We heard about your incident with Thatcher, I'm so sorry that you had to see him" Ellis said getting straight to the point.

"You knew he was here" Meredith asked slightly hurt they had not informed her.

"He saw me not long after you gave me Matilda, I didn't want to tell you and upset you for nothing" Ellis explained to her only child.

"Yeah well I got upset, I helped deliver my own supposed niece and found out he has a whole other family" Meredith cried once again getting teary.

"I'm sorry sweetheart" Richard said hugging his step daughter. "I knew he would find a way of hurting you again" he continued pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"It's okay Dad, damn pregnancy hormones make it so much worse" Meredith said with a small smile. "I'm sorry for snapping Mom but I doubt we will be saying much of Thatcher again" she continued.

"Oh?" Ellis asked raising her eyebrows at Meredith curiously.

"Let's just say I gave him a few home truths, just a few things he needed to hear" Meredith admitted.

"That's my girl" Richard said proudly before giving Meredith one last kiss as she made her way back to her duties.


	24. Exhausting

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: EXHAUSTING**

"Do you really have to go?" Mark asked Meredith as he kissed at her neck as she proceeded to get ready.

"Yes I do, it's family dinner Mark, we have it every week, you know that" Meredith responded trying to give into the pleasure that she was receiving.

"I wish I could come" Mark said softly wrapping his arms around Meredith and resting his hand on the small bump of her stomach.

"Me too but soon I promise, thanksgiving is next week and I promise we can tell everyone then" Meredith vowed as she rested her head back against Mark's well chiselled chest.

"Okay well you better get going, Tilly will be wondering where you are if you don't go, she spends a lot of time with your Mom these days" Mark noted as Meredith slipped on her shoes.

"Yeah I don't know its weird I guess, Mom and her just have this connection, Mom adores her" Meredith said wiping a lone tear from her eye. "Damn hormones" she muttered.

"Ah you love them, just think all the hormones will be worth it when you hold that little girl" Mark said with a cheeky smirk.

"Nah uh it's a boy mister" Meredith teased.

"We'll see, now go before you are even later, love you" he said kissing her one last time before walking her to the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You're late" Preston noted as Meredith walked into her parents house.

"Yeah I know I'm sorry, I took a nap since I didn't have to worry bout Tilly and slept longer than I meant to" Meredith lied giving Cristina a knowing look.

"Pregnancy does make you tired" Addison chipped in greeting Meredith with a kiss on the cheek.

"Mommy" Matilda squealed running into the lounge room, flour brushed over her face.

"Hey baby, have you been helping Nana cook again?" Meredith asked as she bent down to pick her young daughter up.

"Yeah, we made apple pie" she announced proudly.

"Oh yummy I can't wait to taste it" Meredith said kissing her daughter's hair.

"Mommy where is Daddy?" Matilda asked suddenly realising Mark wasn't with her mother.

"Daddy is probably at his hotel room remember, he lives there" Meredith explained for the millionth time, she knew it was difficult for her young daughter at this point having Mark around at the house all the time yet he never went anywhere with them.

"Oh you could have invited him" Richard offered realising how the separation had been affecting his granddaughter.

"This is a family dinner, he is no longer part of this family" Burke said harshly regretting it instantly as Matilda began to sob.

"Preston you don't have to be such an ass, she is 4 years old she doesn't understand" Meredith snapped before moving into the kitchen to see her mother and comforting her daughter.

"Hello sweetheart, what was the yelling?" Ellis asked as she saw Meredith walk into the kitchen Matilda sobbing softly against her sweater.

"Preston made a snide remark that upset Tilly" Meredith explained. "Tilly asked where Mark was and got upset when Preston announced that Mark is no longer apart of our family" she continued.

"Ignore him, he is still having a hard time with how much Mark hurt you, but you two seem to be getting along just fine" Ellis noted buzzing around the kitchen to complete the meal she was preparing.

"Yeah things are okay" Meredith said sitting Matilda on the bench. "Actually I was wondering whether you would mind if Mark joined us for Thanksgiving, he shouldn't be alone for the holidays and even if it is just for Tilly's sake" Meredith convinced her mother.

"It's fine, but be prepared for war, I don't want the holiday ruined with fighting so warn your brother" Ellis advised.

"Yeah of course" Meredith said with a small convincing smile trying not to give anything away. "Do you need any help?" Meredith asked.

"Nope everything is done so you can call everyone into the dining room" Ellis told her daughter.

"That was delicious" Meredith said as she finished up the last part of her main meal. Usually she would only eat a small amount but as the baby grew so did her appetite.

"Thank you sweetheart" Ellis replied with a smile. "So have you decided about Christmas?" Ellis asked, she knew Meredith had been avoiding the topic.

"Um no not really" Meredith said with a deep breath. "I know it's only a little while away now but there are things to consider" she continued.

"Come on Mer it will be great, all the girls are going to be home for once" Derek attempted to convince his sister in law. "I know Rach would love to see you" he continued.

"I know and it would be great to see everyone but I don't know if we are ready to be around the family yet" Meredith said softly.

"It's understandable" Addison said coming to Meredith's defence. "We can't force her, it's her decision" Addison said to Derek giving him a glare to back off.

"Sorry Mer, but definitely give it more thought, I know Mom is dying to see you, and she misses Matilda" Derek said hoping it would convince her a little bit more.

"I will give it more thought, I promise" Meredith assured as she rolled her eyes causing Addison to giggle. She missed having Cristina there to back her up and entertain her but she had had to work.

"Well I had better get this girl home to bed" Meredith announced looking over at Matilda half asleep on Richard's lap. "She's had a big day."

"She has indeed" Ellis agreed. "But we had fun." Ellis had looked after her granddaughter for the day instead of her having to be at the day care.

"Come on sweetie" Meredith said gently shaking Matilda to wake her up so she could walk to the car. She was getting too big for Meredith to be picking up all the time with the pregnancy.

"It's okay I will carry her out" Richard said getting up lifting Matilda up into his arms as he did.

Meredith said goodbye to everyone before entering her car to make the drive home. She sighed as she began down the driveway. Avoiding questions and the topic of Mark was becoming more and more exhausting; she couldn't wait until the truth was out.


	25. Telling The Family

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: TELLING THE FAMILY**

"Meredith are you sure this is such a great idea, I know we are going to have to tell everyone sooner or later and I want nothing more then to be able to be seen in public with you again but it's thanksgiving and everyone hates me" Mark rambled to his wife as they prepared to join Meredith's family for thanksgiving.

"Baby you are starting to sound more like me then you right now, relax it will be fine, well maybe not completely fine but seriously no-one hates you" Meredith assured her husband although she was just as nervous as him. Preston was definitely her biggest concern and perhaps Derek.

"I know for a fact that Burke hates me, he won't even look at me half the time Mer. And Derek, he is my brother and yet he barely talks to me" Mark continued to freak out. "Maybe we should wait a little longer" he suggested.

"Mark Jacob Sloan we are telling everyone today and there will be no maybes about it" Meredith announced sternly. "You should have seen family dinner last week, Matilda asked why you weren't there, Preston told her that you were no longer part of this family, she is a 4 year old little girl and has already been through enough confusion, I refuse to put her through anymore" Meredith fired at him.

"I'm sorry honey, I'm just a little nervous I guess, Cristina and Addie know but they were easy. Although Cristina surprised me" he confessed.

"It will be fine I promise, it's the holidays and everyone knows you're coming, they just think it's because of Tilly" Meredith told him wrapping her arms around him and pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Okay I guess we should get going then" Mark gave in taking Meredith's hand and making their way down the stairs to where Matilda was happily colouring.

"Come on Muffin time to go to Nana and Pop's" Mark said waiting for her to stand before he took her small hand in his and made their way out to the car.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Meredith is late again, doesn't she know how to be on time to a family gathering" Preston whined to his father as everyone sat in the living room.

"Preston that's enough" Ellis snapped. "We have spoken about today and there will be no arguments or fighting. I have a feeling there is a bigger reason to why Meredith is bringing Mark with her and if it's the reason I feel it is I want you all to be supportive of her, she is a grown woman and can make her own decisions" Ellis lectured ensuring that both Preston and Derek took note of what she was saying.

"Is it late enough for me to start drinking yet?" Cristina asked seriously. "I have a feeling I am going to need it" she continued.

"Can you at least wait until we start eating?" Addison joked knowing that Cristina used alcohol to unwind much in the same way Meredith did before she had Matilda.

"I guess but it's going to be a big effort" Cristina groaned sarcastically.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Are you okay?" Meredith asked Mark as they stood outside the door to her parent's house. She could feel his grip tightening on her hand as the got closer to the door.

"Yeah I'm fine, it's all going to be fine" he convinced, but it seemed he was convincing himself more than anyone else.

"What are we waiting for?" Matilda asked trying to reach the door knob.

"Nothing sweetheart come on we can go in now" Meredith said giving Mark a kiss on the cheek for luck.

"We're here" Meredith called out as Matilda went running in to find her grandparents.

Everyone greeted Meredith and Matilda happily as they made their way in. Preston shot Mark an evil glare earning an equalled glare from Cristina.

"Ellis, Richard thank you for having me it means a lot to be able to spend the holiday with Matilda and Mer" Mark said genuinely as Ellis gave him a short kiss on the cheek and Richard shook his hand.

"It wouldn't be such a big deal if you hadn't screwed up" Derek snapped at his brother before being slapped on the arm by Addison.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd it's the holidays, don't even think about starting that here, do you want to upset Matilda again?" she asked him showing that she wasn't going to tolerate his hostility toward his brother.

"No, sorry" Derek said gruffly not wanting to admit that his behaviour was out of line.

"Look at you Mer you are starting to get a real belly there now" Addison said with a smile rubbing her hand across Meredith's stomach.

"Yeah it's really starting to feel real, although the morning sickness proved that" she said with a smile.

"How's the morning sickness going?" Ellis asked knowing that her daughter had been suffering with it rather badly.

"It's not too bad, only occasionally get it now, which I am grateful for" Meredith said with a small laugh.

"Well lunch is almost ready so by the time we all make our way into the dining room it should be done" Ellis said noticing the unimpressed looks on both Preston and Derek's faces. Obviously they weren't so thrilled about Mark being there.

"Ah actually Mom before we eat there is something I, well we wanted to tell you" Meredith said taking Mark's hand in hers.

"Oh my goodness I knew it, I told you Richard" Ellis busted excitedly. "This is what I think it is isn't it" Ellis continued hoping she was right.

"Yeah it is" Meredith said with a smile. "We are trying to work things through, it's a slow process but it's worth it" Meredith said looking up at Mark who smiled back at her.

"Oh thank goodness" Ellis sighed with relief. "I hoped you two would be able to work this out, Mark you were an idiot but you two belong together" she praised.

Meredith looked around her family as Richard kissed her cheek and hugged her. Cristina and Addison were happily smiling at her which made her feel like she had made the right decision but then she looked at Preston and Derek who wore mirrored expressions of disbelief. In a split second she had felt like she had ruined thanksgiving.


	26. Getting Married

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: GETTING MARRIED**

"Meredith have you completely lost your mind?" Preston boomed at her. "The guy cheated on you and you are willing to take him back. He broke you, the first moment I saw you when you came back you were a mess, how did that change so quickly" he ranted angrily.

"Burke leave it, it's her decision" Cristina said leaping to Meredith's defence.

"You knew, you knew about this and didn't think to tell me, Cristina we are getting married, well we are supposed to be if you ever make up your god damn mind" he shouted.

"Let's not make this about that again, your sister deserves to be happy, the least you could do is show some support" Cristina spat at him venomously before marching up the stairs to the bathroom.

"Pres I know you don't agree with this but I love him and I know he loves me, he changed his whole life to be here with Matilda and me and the baby" Meredith tried to convince her livid big brother.

"How can you be so sure he won't do it all over again" Burke pressed.

"Because I trust him" Meredith said softly.

"Sometimes trust isn't enough" he said gruffly before going up the stairs in search of Cristina.

"Does anyone else have anything to say about my decision or is that about it because I don't know how much more of this crap I can take" Meredith cried at everyone letting her eyes rest on Derek, she knew he would definitely have something to say.

"Mer are you sure this is the right thing to do, Mark he has a past and …" Derek began before Mark cut him off.

"Derek everyone has a past including you so don't start about me, before you met Addie you were just the same, that's why we got along so well, just two guys looking for some fun" Mark said wrapping an arm protectively around Meredith.

"Why is everyone yelling?" Matilda asked softly making her way out of the room where she usually played.

"Come here muffin" Mark said softly bending down and picked up his small daughter. "We are sorry for yelling okay, we just all got a little mad about something but we will stop now" Mark promised her glaring at Derek giving him the sign that it was enough.

"Okay, but what were you mad about?" she asked innocently still not understanding.

"Remember what we talked about ages ago about Mommy and Daddy being like before except Daddy still lives at the hotel" Mark asked her softly.

The small girl responded with a nod.

"Well not everyone was too happy about that, but its okay now" Mark said placing a kiss on his daughter's cheek causing her to giggle lightly.

"Uncle Derek are you mad at Mommy?" Matilda asked jumping out of her father's arms and running over to Derek.

"No I'm not mad at Mommy, I was just mad at what she said but you don't have to worry okay" Derek promised her giving her a hug.

"Well now that we have that all out of our system I think it's time to eat" Ellis announced ushering everyone into the dining room.

"Now Miss Matilda what are you going to have to eat?" Richard asked sitting Matilda up on her own seat next to him.

"I want everything" she announced proudly, Meredith had been lucky that she had been blessed with a child who ate most things in comparison to many other children who were so picky.

"Thanks Dad" Meredith said with a smile showing him that she appreciated what he was doing. "Are Cris and Pres coming down?" she asked carefully not wanting to fuel an unnecessary fire.

"I called up to them but they haven't emerged yet" Ellis replied giving her daughter a sympathetic look she had longed for her daughter and her husband to work through their issues but she didn't realise the consequences that would come with it.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Burke what the hell are you saying? I don't do ultimatums. It's not that I don't want to get married" Cristina argued to her fiancé. She couldn't believe he was so intent on getting her down the aisle.

"I know but I am beginning to think there is never going to be a wedding Cristina so who are we kidding clearly we want different things so why waste time" Burke argued back becoming more fired up.

"I love you Burke and I do want to get married, if setting a date is important then you should have talked to me" Cristina explained trying to stay calm.

"When would I have time to talk to you about this Cristina you spend so much time at the damn hospital or you're with Meredith, I'm glad that you and my sister have become such good friends but its like she is more important than me" Burke emphasised hoping to make Cristina realise how distant she had been from him.

"Meredith has been helping me with something, I was going to wait until we had a little more done before I told you this but I have a couple of dates, I called around and found some dates that would suit" Cristina began.

"A date, you're dating, a date for what Cristina?" Burke shouted clearly not understanding.

"I'm not dating, you are more than enough, a date for the wedding" she exclaimed at him.

"You've been planning the wedding?" Burke asked completely awed.

Cristina nodded. "I was scared and I went to Meredith and we talked and I wasn't sure if I was ready to go through with this but Mer helped me realise some things" Cristina said softly.

"So dates?" Burke asked suddenly in a much better mood.

Cristina ran through the dates with Burke and they decided on one then and there before either had a chance to put it off any longer.

"I love you" Burke exclaimed picking Cristina up and spinning his fiancé soon to be wife around. "Let's go tell everyone" he said taking her by the hand.

All eyes landed on them as they entered the dining room.

"Everything okay?" Meredith asked sheepishly not sure if her brother was still mad at her.

"We're getting married" Burke exclaimed which was followed by many cheers from the dining room.


	27. Thanksgiving After All

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: THANKSGIVING AFTER ALL **

"You told him" Meredith exclaimed happily. "Oh my god which date did you choose?" she continued excitedly.

"We chose February 16" Cristina announced.

"Cristina!" Meredith exclaimed suddenly horrified. "I thought we ruled that one out" she continued.

"No you ruled that one out, we decided that we should do it soon, we've waited this long" Cristina argued with a smirk.

"Well you will have to put up with your maid of honour being a whale" Meredith huffed.

"I think you will look great" Mark whispered softly in her ear wrapping an arm around her and rubbing her stomach.

"Yeah you would say that" Meredith replied still annoyed.

"What do you think about that Tilly?" Cristina asked the small girl who looked confused. "Remember we talked about you being my flower girl and walking down the aisle in the pretty dress" she continued.

"Yes" Matilda replied. "But why will there be a whale?" she asked innocently causing everyone to laugh.

"Don't make promises you can't follow through with Mer" Derek laughed at his sister in law.

"Shut up" Meredith replied trying to be mad but broke into a fit of giggles like everyone else.

"Congratulations guys" Addison said thrilled that they were finally going to be making it down the aisle, it was certainly a long time coming.

"Well now you two sit and have something to eat, maybe this will be a thanksgiving after all" Ellis said smiling that both her children were now happy or at least getting there.

Over the next few hours they shared stories, watched the parade and enjoyed each others company. It was getting late which was proven by Meredith letting out an exhausted yawn.

"We should get going" Mark said to her softly his arms still wrapped around her from where they were sitting on the couch together.

Meredith nodded sleepily. "Yeah we should" she agreed. "It's almost Tilly's bedtime" she continued.

"Looks like it's yours too" Addison laughed at her friend.

"Shut up, being pregnant is hard work" Meredith joked waiting for Mark to get up so he could then help her out of her seat.

"It's only going to get worse" Cristina reminded her friend.

"Yeah don't I know it" Meredith huffed. "Come on Matilda say goodbye to everyone it's time to go home" Meredith said to her daughter as she collected the toys that they had brought with them.

"Thanks for dinner Mom, it was amazing" Meredith said to her mother as she bade everyone goodbye.

"You are very welcome darling, thank you for coming" Ellis replied. "Both of you" she continued sincerely as she glanced at Mark giving him a small smile.

"Thank you for having me here, and for understanding everything" Mark said taking Meredith's hand in his as he held Matilda on his hip with his other arm.

"Just don't make the same mistake twice, we won't be so forgiving if it happens again" Richard warned his son in law.

"You bet we won't" Meredith agreed. "But I think he has learnt his lesson" she said giving his hand a squeeze.

"See you all later" Mark said waving before strapping Matilda in and helping Meredith into his car before taking off toward her house.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"There we go she is sound asleep" Mark said making his way into the living room where Meredith was curled up on the lounge almost asleep herself.

Mark sat down beside her lifting her feet up and putting them down on his lap. He still couldn't believe that the always growing curve in her stomach was going to be their child. He had longed for a second child for so long and now it was finally happening.

"I love you" Mark said stroking her leg as she slept lightly.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asked sleepily.

"Nothing, I just wanted you to know that I do" Mark said defending himself.

"I love you too" she replied sitting up and lying the other way so her head was now in Mark's lap. "I'm sorry about how everyone reacted, perhaps we shouldn't have told them on thanksgiving" Meredith said softly.

"It's okay, they were going to be upset no matter when we told them, your Mom surprised me though" he said honestly stroking her blonde hair that had spilt around her head.

"Yeah me too, although she had been hinting toward it" Meredith responded becoming slightly more awake.

"Maybe she doesn't dislike me as much as I thought she did" Mark continued.

"She never disliked you she was just being protective, it's a change to when we first started dating don't you think" Meredith asked with a smile.

"I guess so, I'm glad you have a family like that, it helped get me by while you were gone knowing that you were here with them, even Derek and Addie have become more of a family to you" Mark replied pressing a kiss to Meredith's forehead.

"I didn't know where else to go, as much as it hurt I'm glad we are here now, I need you more than anyone else, especially now we have another baby on the way" Meredith admitted resting a hand on her stomach.

"I know baby and I'm not going anywhere I promise" Mark said before leaning down and kissing Meredith softly on the lips.

Meredith broke away from the kiss and looked up into her husband's meaningful grey eyes. She couldn't think of anywhere else she would want to be than with him.

"So I've been thinking about Christmas I think we should go to New York, everyone will be there and we spent Thanksgiving with my family I think we should be with your family for Christmas" Meredith said waiting for Mark's reaction.

"Seriously!" he exclaimed with surprise. "You really wanna go to the Shepherd's?" he asked still shocked.

"Yeah it will be great, all the girls will be home, Rach will be there and Carolyn adores Matilda, it will good" Meredith convinced Mark. Although she wasn't sure if she was convincing him or herself the prospect of spending the holiday with all those people 6 months pregnant wasn't her greatest idea but she wanted Mark to be happy.


	28. Small Smiles

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: SMALL SMILES**

**6 weeks later…**

"Mer do you have everything?" Mark bellowed from the bottom of the stairs where two suitcases were packed. He couldn't believe Meredith had so much stuff packed for her and Matilda, they were only going for 4 days.

"Yes" Meredith shouted. "I'm coming now, Matilda doesn't like the cold so I had to find her an extra coat" Meredith explained appearing at the top of the stairs, Matilda in her arms.

"You really shouldn't be carrying her" Mark chastised taking Matilda from her arms and setting her on the ground so she could walk out to the car. "You are 24 weeks pregnant" he reminded her.

"Yes I know Mark, you don't think the bowling ball I have in front of me isn't a big enough clue" she breathed at him clearly annoyed.

Mark rolled his eyes knowing good and well to leave her be pregnancy hormones were in full swing and they had the flight ahead of themselves yet.

"God I hope Matilda sleeps on the plane" Meredith stated as they drove toward the airport, it was Christmas Eve so traffic was terrible. Addison and Derek were already in New York they had left the previous day. Mark was needed at the hospital so they had had to leave it an extra day.

"Mommy how will Santa know where to leave my presents?" Matilda asked suddenly realising Santa would have to be able to find her.

"Santa knows everything sweetie, he will leave your presents at Grandma's" Meredith promised the little girl relieved that they had sent her presents with Addison and Derek to avoid being caught out.

"Okay" Matilda replied content with the answer she had received from her mother.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Mer … Meri … we are descending" Mark announced as he shook Meredith awake lightly careful to frighten her. She had slept most of the flight. This pregnancy had her more exhausted than she ever was with Matilda which made Meredith believe that she was right and they were in fact expecting a boy. Mark still failed to give in to her still having his sights set firmly on a second little girl.

"Hmm already, how long have I been asleep?" Meredith asked groggily looking over to make sure Matilda was okay but she was happily looking out the window as the plane slowly made its decent.

"Most of the flight, but it's okay we are almost there, I called ahead for the rental so all we have to do is pick it up and head to Mom's" Mark informed Meredith. He liked to have everything organised, he figured the less Meredith had to stress about the better.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Upon landing Mark had collected their luggage while Meredith and Matilda made their way to the bathroom.

"Traffic is terrible" Mark complained as he navigated his was through the thick Christmas Eve traffic.

"This is one of the many things I don't miss about New York" Meredith agreed. She let out a relived and nervous sigh as they pulled up in front of the Manhattan home that belonged to the Shepherd's or more specifically Carolyn Shepherd. She had inherited everything when her husband Christopher had passed away.

"Ready" Mark asked as he took Meredith's hand and led her toward the house. Matilda was perched on his hip as always. She was scared about seeing everyone again; she hadn't seen them in so long.

"Mom it's us" Mark called as they entered into the large hallway of the beautiful house.

"Oh Mark finally we were beginning to think you weren't coming" Carolyn called from the kitchen.

"Sorry traffic was terrible" Mark apologised as the three of them made their way into the kitchen where he was immediately hugged by the small woman.

"Meredith its lovely to see you, oh look at you radiant as ever" Carolyn gushed as she hugged her proxy daughter in law. "And look at you all grown up" she exclaimed looking at Matilda.

"Say hello to Grandma Muffin" Mark pushed at the little girl.

"Hello" Matilda said ever so softly.

"I'm going to go say hello to everyone" Mark said heading into the lounge room where everyone else was, Matilda still clinging onto him tightly.

"Mark!" all the girls exclaimed as he entered. "Bought time you got here" Derek greeted him with a grin. In the past few weeks they had put their differences aside and were becoming more like the brothers they used to be.

"I can't believe how much Matilda has grown" Kathleen gushed at the small girl.

"She's being shy" Mark explained as he caught up with all the girls and their husbands.

"Come here to Uncle Derek" Derek said taking the small child from her father.

"Uncle Der" she giggled excitedly realising who it was. "Santa is coming" she told him matter of factly.

"Well then have you been good?" he asked joking around with her.

Matilda nodded her head like crazy worried that Derek knew something that she didn't.

"Where's Meredith?" Rachel, Derek's younger sister asked sitting herself up.

"Kitchen talking to Mom, she is tired from the flight" Mark answered.

"How far along is she now?" Anna – the youngest Shepherd asked as she rocked her 6 month old daughter Chloe back to sleep.

"24 weeks" Addison answered for him then noticed the looks she was getting. "What I'm her doctor I know these things" she defended herself causing everyone to laugh.

"I better go get our things, you right with her" Mark asked Derek referring to Matilda. Derek nodded his reply. "Daddy be back in a bit Muffin you play with Uncle Derek" he told the little girl.

"Meredith" Rachel exclaimed entering the kitchen to find Meredith sitting at the bench sipping a glass of water. Meredith leapt of the stool and hugged her friend. Rachel had always been her favourite of the Shepherd sisters.

"How are you? Fat and Happy?" Rachel asked with a giggle.

"Fat definitely, happy getting there" Meredith said honestly.

"Fat please, you've got nothing on me I'm huge" Rachel complained. "3 weeks to go" she said relieved that soon it would be over.

Meredith however wasn't listening she was watching Mark walk passed with their bags; she gave him a small smile that didn't go unnoticed by Carolyn or Rachel.


	29. Letting You In

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: LETTING YOU IN**

"I'm sorry about having to share the room with Mark but with everyone home there just isn't enough room. I know you two are still living apart and that it will be awkward, I'm just sorry darling" Carolyn apologised as Meredith helped her make the bed in the spare room that they would be using during their stay.

"It's okay Carolyn, we have slept together before, the evidence is the size of my stomach" Meredith joked trying to lighten the situation. The truth was she was terrified about being so close with her husband again. She wasn't sure how this was going to play out.

"I know dear but if it gets too bad just let me know. How are the two of you going, really?" Carolyn asked waiting to hear the truth from her somewhat daughter.

"It's hard, but we are getting there, Matilda makes it hard. We just have to be careful of her feelings too. That was the point of taking it so slow so she could adjust again. We have our days" Meredith said honestly.

"Oh sweetheart children are tougher than you think. You should follow your heart. Why is he still living in that awful hotel?" Carolyn asked.

"We haven't really talked about him moving back into the house, he has stayed over a few times, in the spare bedroom. My friend Izzie used to live with us but she moved out a few weeks ago now" Meredith explained.

"Maybe you should use this as a trial, he needs to be around when that baby is born" the older woman advised Meredith who nodded her head in agreement. She knew that Carolyn was right she had just been avoiding the topic.

"I guess, I want him to be there for the baby and for me, but I guess I just don't trust him enough yet" Meredith admitted hesitantly. She had been telling everyone that the trust was there but somehow she still couldn't let him completely in.

"Meredith honey, you either trust him or you don't and I don't think you can trust him completely unless you let him all the way in, I don't want to pressure you but Mark is a good guy despite his past, just try" Carolyn guided the young woman before leaving her with her thoughts.

"Oh sorry Mom" Mark apologised as he ran into Carolyn as he ascended the stairs up to the room he would be sharing with Meredith. "Is Mer up here?" he asked.

"She's in your room" Carolyn said with a small smile. It never ceased to amaze her how much Mark cared for Meredith. There was a time where she thought he would never settle and then he met Meredith and she changed his life for the better.

"Hey are you okay?" Mark asked Meredith as he entered into the room to find her sitting on the edge of the bed deep in thought. He closed the door behind him not wanting everyone to hear their conversation. They were in the Shepherd house now, there was no such thing as privacy.

"Yeah I was just thinking" Meredith answered giving him a small smile.

"Thinking about anything in particular?" he asked as he sat down beside her on the bed.

"Just something Carolyn said, she was right" Meredith continued softly leaving Mark confused to what she was talking about.

"Okay what was Mom right about?" Mark asked puzzled by what his wife was saying.

"Us, well me mainly" Meredith admitted. "I guess a part of me hasn't been honest with you" she continued.

"Honest about what Mer? You're scaring me" Mark breathed suddenly confused to what she was on about. He worried that she had changed her mind about trying. He was concerned that New York was bringing back all the things they wanted to forget.

"I haven't been letting you in, I realise that now, you're so patient but everyone knows that I have been so unrelenting to you" Meredith confessed, a single tear sliding down her cheek.

"Oh Mer don't say that, just for you to give me a second chance is amazing, I haven't expected anything less" Mark whispered cupping Meredith's face in his hands.

"So you don't hate me for treating you like I have" Meredith said softly more tears forming in her emotion filled green eyes.

"I could never hate you, quite the opposite, I love you" Mark whispered lovingly as he kissed at the tears that slid down her porcelain skinned face.

"I love you too" Meredith whispered back as she looked deep into the grey eyes that were fixed on hers. She slowly licked her lips before reaching up and softly kissing Mark on the lips. The kiss started on slow and sensual but soon turned heat, both kissing with the built up passion that they had been holding on to.

"Oh god I have wanted this for so long" Meredith breathed as Mark broke the kiss and started kissing and sucking at her exposed neck.

"Me too" he replied before continuing the attack on her neck. Meredith ran her fingers through her husband's short hair as pleasure shot through her body.

Mark reached for the bottom of Meredith's shirt; hesitantly he looked up at her. "Are you sure?" he asked emotionally wanting more than anything for her to say yes but was prepared to stop if she wasn't ready.

Meredith bit down on her lip before nodding her head. "I'm sure" she breathed before reaching down and pulling her shirt off in an effort to prove that she really did want the level of intimacy they once shared. It seemed forever ago that they had shared this type of closeness.

He kissed her on her growing stomach as soon as it was exposed to him. He had forgotten how beautiful her body was when she was pregnant. He sat back and admired her beauty before they proceeded to make love for the first time since the creation of the child that was now growing inside of Meredith.


	30. Everything's Alright

**CHAPTER THIRTY: EVERYTHING'S ALRIGHT**

Mark looked down at the woman sleeping sound asleep in his arms. He couldn't believe how wonderful it felt to have Meredith back in his arms where she belonged. He smiled to himself at thought of her giving him the greatest gift of all – a second child. If he could have one do over it would be that they never hired a nanny.

"Meredith are you sleeping again?" Rachel called before barging into the room. She squealed when she set her eyes on the bed where Meredith lay curled up in Mark's arms. "I'm so sorry" she began.

"Jesus Rach don't you knock" Mark snapped at the heavily pregnant woman.

"I'm so sorry I just wow didn't expect this… I'm just gonna go" she rambled before quickly exiting closing the door behind her.

"Who was that?" Meredith mumbled sleepily not completely opening her eyes.

"It was um Rachel" Mark admitted causing Meredith to bolt upright.

"Well I guess the whole house knows now" she said quietly not making eye contact.

"Yeah, would that be so bad?" Mark asked suddenly worried that Meredith regretted the actions that had just taken.

"No, maybe well a little, we haven't even had a chance to talk about what happened and now everyone knows" Meredith exclaimed.

"So there is something to talk about, because I remember you saying that you wanted this Meredith, which is it because I really can't keep up" Mark shouted at her as she desperately tugged on her clothes.

"I did want this, I do, but maybe I just don't want it broadcasted to the entire house" Meredith shouted back at him before exiting the room slamming the door behind her and running down the stairs colliding with Rachel.

"Hey Mer, I am so sorry about that" Rachel began before noticing that her friend was clearly upset. "Hey what's wrong? What happened?" she asked concerned.

"I'm overreacting its okay, its damn hormones" Meredith attempted to lie but Rachel could see straight through her.

"It's not just the hormones now spill" Rachel said leading Meredith into the kitchen where Addison stood making coffee.

"Mer what's wrong?" Addison asked looking up and seeing tears sliding down Meredith's cheeks.

The three women made drinks then sat up at the bench waiting for Meredith to explain what was going on. Everyone else was outside playing with the children while it wasn't too cold.

"I just slept with my husband for the first time in 6 months" Meredith admitted to her friends.

"I kind of saw that Mer" Rachel said with a warm smile.

"Isn't that a good thing Mer?" Addison asked confused to why she was so upset.

"It should be but I freaked out when Mark said that Rach had seen and then I was worried that everyone would know. He got angry and yelled then I yelled. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Meredith cried to her friends.

"Doing what Mer?" Rachel asked carefully.

"Digging myself into this hole. It's like I have this part of me that I believe I can never be happy. I just can't let things be" she sobbed into her hands.

"That is not true" Addison said rubbing small circles in Meredith's back to sooth her. "You deserve to be happy, you're just hesitant you've been through a lot lately. Your marriage fell apart and you are slowly repairing it, your having another baby due in 12 weeks and there's the fact that your father showed up revealing he has another family" Addison said trying to show Meredith that she wasn't overreacting.

"What you saw your Dad?" Rachel asked shocked. "When?" she asked.

"About 2 months ago" Meredith admitted. "His youngest daughter went into preterm labour. I helped Addie deliver her, only to find out she is actually my niece" Meredith said before laughing. "Screwed up huh."

"Oh Mer I am so sorry, you just can't get a break lately huh" Rachel said giving her friend a hug. "Well at least you have that gorgeous little girl of yours to keep you going. I'm sure that adorable smile makes your heart melt every time" Rachel said attempting to make Mer feel better. She knew mentioning Matilda would get her somewhere.

"Yeah she is amazing; I can't believe how quickly she is growing though. Preschool next year, already. She never ceases to amaze me with the little things she does. She's my little angel" Meredith said a genuine smile spreading across her face.

All three women turned their heads around at the sound of someone entering into the kitchen. The smile immediately faded from Meredith's face when she saw that it was Mark.

"Mer can we talk?" he asked softly avoiding the gaze of the other two women.

"Um yeah sure, do you guys mind?" Meredith asked Rachel and Addison waiting for them to leave before she stood and faced her husband.

"I am so sorry Meri, I didn't mean to yell at you, I just thought we were finally getting somewhere and it was like you regretted it. Do you?" he asked hesitantly not sure if he could take the answer to the question.

"Of course I don't" Meredith said firmly reaching out to hold Mark's hands in her own. "It was amazing, I guess I just freaked out a little. I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel worthless, I wanted it to happen just as much as you" she said firmly.

"It's okay, I love you, but I'm glad we got that sorted otherwise it would have been rather awkward seeing as though we have to share that room for the next 4 days yet" Mark said with a smirk.

"I like the idea of that" Meredith said with a glint in her eye as she wrapped her arms up around his neck and reached up kissing him on the lips. Mark returned the kiss resting his hand down on Meredith's behind giving it a slight squeeze.

"Enough of that in here you two, I have to make dinner in here" Carolyn joked as she walked in catching the pair causing Meredith and Mark to break away laughing. In that moment everything was going to be alright.


	31. Genuinely Happy

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: GENUINELY HAPPY **

"Mommy, Daddy wake up it's Christmas and Santa came" Matilda shouted excitedly as she jumped on her parents' bed early the next morning. She had snuck out from the room she was sharing with most of the other children to check for presents then had raced up to Meredith and Mark.

"Muffin it is so early, can it wait?" Mark grumbled pulling Meredith tighter against him.

"No Daddy it can't wait I want my presents" Matilda shouted firmly.

"Matilda Elizabeth stop acting like a spoilt brat right this minute or you won't get any presents" Meredith chastised her young daughter before sitting up.

"I'm sorry Mommy" the little girl apologised before crawling into her mother's arms.

"It's okay but you need to wait for everyone else to open presents remember" Meredith told her trying to help her remember what happened on the other Christmases that had spent here.

Mark was about to roll over and go back to sleep when he heard the familiar sounds of Christmas at the Shepherds. He sat up giving Meredith a kiss. "Morning" he said with a smile.

"Good morning" Meredith replied returning the smile.

"Come on everyone is starting without us" Matilda whined trying to pull her parents out of bed.

"Okay let's go" Meredith said getting up and pulling on her robe while Mark pulled on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers and searched for a shirt.

He picked Matilda up and threw her over her shoulder causing her to squeal loudly as they ran down the stairs.

Meredith laughed at Derek and Addison who emerged from the room across the hall from hers still half asleep.

"Be grateful you don't have children" Meredith said with a smirk.

"You say that yet you have another one coming Mer" Derek joked with her as they made their way down the stairs together.

Tradition in the Shepherd house was to open presents first which was then followed by a big breakfast cooked by Carolyn and whoever else was prepared to help.

They took it in turns opening presents. The children received a bunch of toys, clothes, movies and games. All the adults laughed at the excited looks on their faces.

"Now this one is for you Mer" Mark said handing her a small box wrapped in a red ribbon.

"Mark I told you not to get me anything" Meredith scolded him from her position between his legs. She opened the box carefully to reveal a beautiful gold chain with a diamond heart pendant on the end.

"It's gorgeous" she gasped as she took it out of the box. She lifted her hair waiting for Mark to do up the clasp letting the necklace hand delicately around her neck. "Thank you" she said kissing him on the lips.

"They seem happier" Derek whispered to Addison where they sat on the couch across from them.

"They are" Addison agreed.

"You know something" Derek said reading his wife as he could.

"Just leave it for now" Addison told him pecking him on the lips to shut him up.

"Now whose hungry?" Carolyn asked receiving a bunch of different responses but general consensus told her that it was breakfast time.

Meredith made her way up stairs to take a shower while the others helped out in the kitchen. Carolyn had tried many times to teach Meredith to cook but it always failed there was just no teaching her. Meredith smiled as she let the hot water fall down over her body loosening her muscles that constantly seemed to ache. For the first time in a long time she genuinely felt happy.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Is it a good Christmas?" Mark asked as he approached Meredith to where she was standing outside looking at the snow that had recently started to fall.

"It is now that it's snowing, I love the snow" she said softly as Mark wrapped his arms around her resting his hands on her stomach.

"It's kicking" he said suddenly as he felt the familiar feeling. It had amazed him the first time Matilda had kicked.

"It's the first one" Meredith said with a smile. It was a sign to her that everything was going to be okay. Her unborn child was telling her so.

"I'd forgotten how amazing that feels" Mark said resting his head on her shoulder kissing her shoulder.

"It's a feeling that you never grow tired of" she agreed placing her hands over where Mark's rested on her stomach.

"You shouldn't be out here in the cold" Mark reminded her as he took her hand and led her back into the warmth of the house.

"What were you two doing outside?" Kathleen asked as she rocked baby Chloe.

"The baby kicked for the first time" Meredith said with a smile as she leant against Mark.

"Oh wow, it's a magical feeling" Kathleen agreed.

"Wowie!" Nancy exclaimed sarcastically. She had been acting strangely from the moment she had arrived. She had come by herself, something about her husband John going to his family and her oldest two children Ryan and Andrea had plans with friends while her youngest Samantha had decided to spend Christmas with her father.

"Nancy" Kathleen snapped at her causing Chloe to start crying. "What is going on with you?" she asked.

"Here let me take her" Meredith said taking the baby and hugging her closely against herself and rocking. The baby instantly stopped crying instead her eyelids drooped and she began to fall asleep.

"You're a natural" Anna said as she walked in just in time to witness what had happened. "What's wrong Nance?" she asked her older sister noticing her coldness.

"God I wish everyone would just stop asking me that. I am fine" she snapped at everyone before making her way into the kitchen. Meredith handed the baby back to Anna before following Nancy to the kitchen.


	32. What A Christmas

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: WHAT A CHRISTMAS **

Meredith had never got along with Nancy, there was no denying it and it had never gone unnoticed by others. They seemed to have a neutral dislike for each other. Usually Meredith would have just left her alone but she noticed the signs and she knew exactly what was going on.

"How long has John been gone?" Meredith asked approaching Nancy where she stood leaning against the bench taking a deep breath.

"Excuse me?" Nancy snapped at Meredith. "What on earth are you taking about?" she asked.

"I know you don't like me Nancy and honestly I feel the same most of the time but I know that look. He cheated on you didn't he?" Meredith asked softly. She recognised the signs because she had felt the exact same way Nancy was feeling.

"How did you know?" Nancy asked shocked that Meredith had figured it out.

"I know that look. I had it on my face for 4 months. It hurts. You feel completely numb and feel like it's your entire fault" Meredith said taking a seat at the bench signalling for Nancy to do the same.

"It is my fault, I was always working never had any time for him or the kids. No wonder he went looking for someone else, and no wonder my kids rebel" Nancy cried.

"Don't ever say that, I blamed myself for what happened between Mark and I too but my Mom made me realise that he was in the wrong. I was upset because I wasn't falling pregnant, 9 long months of nothing. I left him to raise our daughter, but that is not an invitation to break marital vows" Meredith advised Nancy.

"Yeah but you guys have figured things out, you worked through it John and I can't do that" Nancy said softly.

"Why not?" Meredith asked. "Everyone deserves a second chance" she said honestly.

"Well apparently I don't, John wants to file for divorce, says he can't do it anymore, he said being married to me was like a chore he didn't want to do" Nancy said before beginning to sob. Meredith was taken back, she had never in all the years she knew the Shepherd's seen Nancy cry.

"Well then it is his loss, if I wasn't pregnant I would take you out drinking, it used to help me" Meredith said with a smile causing Nancy to laugh.

"How did you get through it?" Nancy asked hesitantly. "I know you guys are okay now but at first how did you handle it?"

"I didn't, I ran away to Seattle" Meredith said looking down. "I'm not proud of running away to Seattle but all my family was there and I needed them. It's the only way I could have got through it" Meredith admitted.

"Did they judge you? I mean surely they know about Mark" Nancy said with a small giggle.

"My parents were really supportive, they never really liked Mark but my Mom surprised me she was so happy when she found out we were working through it. My brother was the worst. And Der wasn't too happy either" Meredith confessed.

"Derek has always been protective of you, if it wasn't for Addie I think you two could have gotten together" Nancy said surprising Meredith.

"Oh god no, he is practically a brother, we are just good friends, we understand each other."

"Yeah I know, I guess everyone has to find out sooner or later" Nancy said with a sigh.

"Find out what?" Carolyn asked entering into the kitchen where the two woman sat talking.

"Better late then never" Meredith said softly.

"Actually Mom, there is something I need to tell you" Nancy said softly looking to Meredith for support. Meredith gave her a smile and nodded signalling for her to continue.

"John isn't just visiting his family, we are um well we're separated" Nancy finally managed to get the words out.

"Oh sweetheart I am so sorry" Carolyn said rushing to her daughter's side pulling her into her arms as she sobbed. Carolyn gave Meredith a thankful smile before she left to return to the living room where everyone else still remained.

"Everything alright?" Mark asked as he looked up at his wife.

"Yeah… well not really but it will be" she said softly before settling down on the couch in his arms.

"Mommy, Mommy" Matilda exclaimed as Kathleen's youngest son Josh carried her into the living room in search of her mother tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What's wrong Tilly?" Meredith said immediately noticing the blood running down her leg.

"Alyssa pushed her" Josh explained passing the small girl to Mark.

"Jesus I am so tired of that girl and her brutality" Kathleen exclaimed getting up to go punish her daughter. "I am so sorry Mer, is she going to be okay?" Kath asked as Meredith wiped the blood with some tissues.

"That's fairly deep Mark" Meredith said looking at her husband how was examining the large wound.

"Yeah it is she is going to need stiches" Mark said trying to calm the hysterical little girl.

"What on earth is going on in here?" Carolyn asked rushing into the living room, Nancy close behind her.

"Lys pushed Tilly over, split her leg open" Meredith said as she cradled the young girl against her. "Mark has gone to check the first aid kit to see if you have anything to help for now but we are going to have to take her to the hospital for stitches" Meredith continued.

"Oh my what has gotten into that girl?" Carolyn asked no-one in particular.

"All I can find for now is some gauzing we can tape that on to stop the bleeding until we get to the hospital" Mark said appearing with the supplies. "Come on muffin" he said lifting the up the little girl and carrying her toward the car, Meredith just behind him.

"We shouldn't be too long, we'll call" Meredith said before they jumped in the car and headed to the hospital. What a Christmas it had turned out to be.


	33. Mount Sinai

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: MOUNT SINAI**

"Wow it's been a while since I've been here" Meredith said with a sigh as she followed Mark to the entrance of Mount Sinai hospital.

"Yeah I know the feeling, there better be someone good on or I will stitch it myself" Mark said as they made their way toward the emergency room.

"Mark Sloan" a male voice boomed causing both Meredith and Mark to turn in the direction of the voice.

"Eric" Mark exclaimed. "How's it going chief?" he asked his former chief of surgery.

"Not too bad, wasn't sure I would ever see you in these parts again" the older man admitted.

"Yeah Mer and I came back for Christmas" Mark informed his former boss and friend.

"Meredith lovely to see you, I see you forgave this stupid baboon. And I see congratulations are in order" Eric said with a smile resting his eyes on Meredith's swollen abdomen.

"Good to see you too chief but we really must get going" Meredith said politely nodding her head toward Matilda.

"My oh my that is not Matilda" he exclaimed not recognising the young girl who had practically grown up in that hospital.

"Yeah, we had a little accident" Mark said. "Is there a decent doctor on who can handle some decent sutures" Mark asked with a hint of sarcasm.

"Take her into Exam Room 2 and I will send Dr Perkins down, he is a fifth year plastics resident very promising" Eric said before taking out his pager and heading to his office.

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"Alyssa Jane what do you have to say for yourself?" Kathleen bellowed at the 10 year old girl. "She is so much smaller than you, what were you doing pushing her around?"

"She was being annoying, I just gave her a little push I didn't mean to hurt her" Alyssa cried to her mother.

"4 year olds do tend to be annoying Alyssa, you were at that age, you just have to be tolerant, it's Christmas and now Aunty Meredith and Uncle Mark have to sit at the hospital waiting for someone to stitch Matilda" Kathleen breathed losing patience.

"I'm sorry" Alyssa said again never seeing her Mom so mad.

"I think she's learnt her lesson Kath" Kathleen's husband Andrew said softly placing a hand on his wife's shoulder.

"This is where you spoil her Andrew, she needs to understand what she did was wrong, this isn't her first act of violence, her teacher called me in a month ago" Kathleen exclaimed. "I just don't know what has gotten into her."

"It's just a stage it will pass" Andrew said softly.

"How many people have to be hurt before it does?" Kathleen snapped before leaving everyone in the living room while she went outside for air.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Dr Sloan, Mrs Sloan" Dr Perkins greeted as he entered the room where Matilda had been brought to. "And what's your name sweetie?" he asked Matilda.

"Matilda" she said softly tears stilling falling down her cheeks.

"That's a pretty name" he said causing her to smile. "Now let's look at this leg" he said taking the patch off.

"How bad is it?" Meredith asked as she held Matilda's hand.

"It's pretty deep, she is going to need at least 10 stitches" Dr Perkins said while cleaning the wound. "How did it happen?" he asked.

"My niece pushed her over" Mark said unimpressed with Alyssa's actions.

"She must have landed pretty hard" Dr Perkins said trying to make small talk.

"We didn't see it happen, our nephew brought her inside" Meredith explained.

"Okay now Matilda I need you to be a brave girl for me, this is going to hurt a little but it will feel better soon" he said to the small girl before beginning the sutures.

"Good girl, this deserves a treat" Mark said kissing his daughter on the forehead. "I can't believe Lys did this, she used to be a sweet kid" Mark said to Meredith.

"I know obviously something got under her skin, you don't think Tilly did something to her do you?" Meredith asked her husband concerned that Matilda had provoked her.

"No Muffin wouldn't, and Josh would have said if she did" Mark said brushing hair away from Meredith's face. "She's a good kid Mer, you don't need to worry" he said giving her a quick kiss.

"Okay all done" Dr Perkins announced. "You guys know the drill, clean the wound regularly I've given her some panadol for the pain for now which I advise you do if the pain is still there, stitches can come out in 14 days" he told them before seeing them off.

"Oh my god Meredith" a woman screeched as they headed for the exit causing Meredith to spin around. She recognised that voice anywhere.

"Jenny, how are you?" Meredith said hugging her old friend and colleague.

"I'm good, but not as good as you obviously" Jennifer Gates replied looking down at Meredith's stomach. "How far along are you?" she asked excitedly.

"24 weeks" Meredith replied.

"You were pregnant when you left here" she exclaimed. "And I see you guys worked it out I am so glad. How long you in town for we should catch up?"

"We leave day after tomorrow" Meredith said. "But we should have lunch tomorrow, bring Tony the guys can catch up" Meredith said before giving her friend a hug goodbye and promising to call to sort out details.

Meredith was exhausted when she and Mark returned to the house, she didn't even bother to greet anyone before heading straight up to her room to lie down, she took Matilda with her as she was drowsy from the panadol.

"How is Tilly?" Kathleen asked as soon as Mark walked into the living room.

"12 stitches" Mark answered. "She was given something for the pain, Mer took her with her to lie down, she's exhausted and Muffin was drowsy" Mark continued.

"I cannot tell you how sorry I am Mark" Kathleen said again.

"It's okay Kath" Mark said. "Kind of puts a damper on Christmas though" Mark said sadly heading up stairs to check on his girls.


	34. Old Friends

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR: OLD FRIENDS**

Meredith smiled as she rolled over in bed. She looked at her husband sleeping peacefully which only caused her to smile more. If she had of known that sleeping together could have repaired a lot of the damage she would have done it sooner.

Her thoughts were soon broken by the feeling of Mark's strong arms wrapping around and pulling her body closer to his.

"Good morning" he greeted with a smirk pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

"Oh it's a good morning is it?" Meredith asked playfully, running her hand over his masculine chest.

"It is when I wake up to find my pregnant wife watching me while I sleep" he said happily. "See anything you like?" he asked winking suggestively.

"Nope nothing at all" she teased going to move away but Mark soon grabbed hold of her tickle attacking her.

"Ah stop that" she squealed happily finally breaking away from him. He stopped tickling allowing her to collapse onto him. She looked into his eyes and leant in slowly before capturing his mouth against hers in a searing kiss.

"I love you" he murmured against her lips.

"Me too" she whispered, reaching up she deepened the kiss wrapping her arms around his neck as she straddled him. Mark began running his hands down her sides to the bottom of the shirt she was wearing of his, when the door burst open.

"Mommy, Daddy it hurts again" the small voice of Matilda interrupted. Meredith breathed a sigh of agitation and relief, a few minutes later and goodness knows what the small girl would have walked in on.

"Okay sweetheart, Mommy will take you downstairs for more medicine" Meredith said giving Mark a quick peck before getting up and pulling on her pyjama pants that lay next to the bed where they had been thrown the previous night.

"Morning" Rachel and Anna greeted as they already sat at the table nibbling on toast and talking between themselves.

"Morning, where is everyone?" Meredith asked noticing the house was oddly quiet for 10 in the morning. She then realised that Matilda had slept rather late.

"Mom, Nance and Kath went shopping, the guys and the kids went to the park and Chloe is back asleep" Anna answered sipping on her coffee.

"That explains the quietness then" Meredith said with a laugh pouring the medicine into the cup and passing into Matilda who now sat on the bench. "Drink it sweetie I know it tastes yucky but it will make you feel better" Meredith told her young daughter whilst brushing her sandy blonde hair off her face.

"How is she this morning?" Rachel asked with a sad smile. No-one could still understand what had gotten into Alyssa, Kathleen was a psychiatrist and she even couldn't work out her own child.

"She said it hurts but she seems to be okay, the wound is clean, I guess the stitches wouldn't be comfortable" Meredith responded as she washed out the medicine cup and put it back in the cupboard where she was storing it.

"That's good, so what are you up to today Mer?" Anna asked wondering what her sister in law had planned for the day.

"Mark and I are actually having lunch with some old friends of ours, Jenny and Tony" Meredith said with a smile. She had missed Jenny so much over the last 6 months but she hadn't been in contact with how crazy her life had been.

"Oh that will be nice, I can look after Tilly if you like" Rachel offered Meredith knowing it would be nice for her to catch up with her friends without having to be concerned about Matilda.

"No it's fine, thanks anyway Rach but I am sure Jen would love to see her and I would like to keep an eye on her, she really isn't herself" Meredith said looking at her pale daughter. She was still so sleepy. "We better get ready I will see you guys later" Meredith said taking Matilda upstairs with her to get ready.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"I still can't believe you are having another baby" Jen gushed as she cradled Matilda and talked with her old friends. She and Meredith had hit it off instantly been given the same resident intern year. She was one of the few friends Meredith actually had in New York that weren't friends of Mark's.

"Neither can I most of the time" Meredith said watching her daughter sleep against Jen. She had always been attached to Jen and had asked about her a little when they first moved to Seattle. "It wasn't the best of timing though" Meredith said softly.

"Well you still have 3 months to sort things out a little more before the baby comes along" Tony offered. He didn't know Meredith as well as Jen but he and Mark had often caught some football games together.

"Yeah we do, time flies by, my second little angel will be out here before you know it" Mark said with a smirk.

"You wish, it's a boy mister" Meredith argued before giving Mark a brief kiss.

"Seriously no-one would ever know that you two spent any time apart, you are the same Mer and Mark that I remember" Jen admitted watching the pair interact.

"We will get there, we'll be better than before" Mark said softly watching Meredith smile back at him.

"So have you thought about names?" Tony asked changing the subject to something more positive.

"Not really" Meredith laughed. "I haven't even started on the nursery" she admitted.

"Well girl you better get moving" Jen laughed as her paged beeped. She looked down at it then gave an apologetic smile to her friends. "It's a 911 I have to go, it was so great to see you again though, keep in touch" she said as she handed the sleeping Matilda to Mark and then hugged them goodbye before leaving.

"It was good to see them" Meredith said as they made the drive back to the Shepherd house.

"Yeah it was, but it will be good to be back home" Mark said with a sigh.

"Yeah it will" Meredith agreed realising that Mark had called Seattle home for the first time since he had been there. Perhaps things were looking up.


	35. Moving In

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: MOVING IN**

"Hello" Meredith said answering the phone as Mark brought in her and Matilda's bags from the front door where they had left them after unloading them from the taxi. They had been home 15 minutes and already the phone was ringing.

"Oh you're finally home" Ellis' voice came through the receiver.

"Yeah just" Meredith laughed at her mother's impatience. She had called them in New York the night before to find out what time they would be home so they could bring Matilda her present. She had also been horrified to hear about her granddaughter being hurt.

"Is it okay to come around?" Ellis asked not wanting to wait any longer to see her granddaughter and to make sure for herself that she was okay.

"Yeah of course I will see you soon" Meredith said before hanging up.

"Was that your Mom?" Mark asked encircling Meredith's waist with his arms, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"Yeah she is coming over, anyone would think it had been a month since she had seen Tilly not 4 days" Meredith laughed at her mother.

"I think it's sweet how much she cares about her, never thought I would see the day when Ellis Grey would be so into a child" Mark joked with his wife.

"Yeah it is, I'm glad that she loves her so much considering how unimpressed she was when she found out I as pregnant with her" Meredith said softly.

"She was just worried about your career, you can hardly blame her after all the money she spent on a top school for you" Mark said turning Meredith around her so she faced him. He placed a kiss on her forehead and smiled down at her causing her to swell with love.

"I better get going back to the hotel, let you two unpack and catch up with your Mom" Mark said looking to where he had place his own bag.

"No, you should stay" Meredith said surprising herself with the words she was saying. "I want you to stay" she said quietly.

"Meri what are you saying?" Mark asked hoping he wasn't getting what she was saying confused.

"I'm saying that you should be here, with us, not in that hotel, you belong here with me, Tilly and Mister" Meredith said smiling rubbing her stomach. "I love you and Carolyn was right, New York was a trial and we are ready to do this. It's the next step" she continued.

"You really want me to move in here" Mark asked making sure that Meredith was completely certain of this.

Meredith nodded. "I do" she confirmed.

"This is fantastic, thank you" he beamed reaching down and kissing her passionately just as the door opened and Richard and Ellis entered.

"Oh sorry to interrupt" Richard said clearing his throat.

"It's okay, Tilly is in the lounge room lying on the lounge, she's still been in pain so she is not herself" Meredith explained not being able to wipe the smile from her face.

"Okay that's fine but Meredith what on earth is with that smile, has something happened?" Ellis asked looking between her daughter and Mark.

"We have decided that it is time for Mark to move in here and we be a proper family again, I know it may seem like we are rushing it and its not really part of taking it slow but New York was good for us and we realised some things so he is moving in" Meredith rambled to her parents.

"Oh Meredith sweetheart this is great, a family again" Ellis gushed hugging both her and Mark.

"Yeah the three of us and Mister" Meredith said rubbing her stomach.

"Mister, seriously Mer do we need to have this argument again, it's a girl" Mark breathed pretending to be hurt by her words causing them all to laugh before moving into the lounge room.

"Tilly look who is here, it's Nana and Pop" Mark said getting the attention of the small girl.

"Oh my poor sweetheart" Ellis said enveloping the girl in a big hug. "Nana is so sorry that you got hurt on Christmas, but did Santa bring you lots of presents?" she asked.

"Yes" Matilda said telling her grandparents all the toys and clothes that she had received. "My favourite is the stable set that I got" she said excitedly.

"Well here is another present" Richard said handing the small girl a box with holes in it that he had gone back out to the car to get.

Matilda's eyes opened wide when she took the lid off the box to reveal a tiny white kitten.

"Mommy, Daddy it's a kitty" she exclaimed excitedly.

"Mom you got her a kitten" Meredith gasped looking into the box. "Are you crazy?" she continued.

"Mer calm down" Mark laughed at her reaction.

"And you knew about this?" she looked at him accusingly.

"A pet will be good for her, it will teach her responsibility and she has been hinting about a puppy for ages, a kitten is less maintenance especially for when the baby comes" Ellis explained to her overreacting daughter.

"Fine but if this proves to be bad remember it is your fault" Meredith said firmly not wanting any responsibility if something bad happens.

"Muffin you understand that you have to take good care of your kitten?" Mark asked the small girl who was now hugging the little kitten. "It's not up to Mommy and Daddy to make sure she has food and water, we can help but she is yours" Mark continued hoping that this would be a good idea.

"Well we have to get going, we just wanted to bring around the kitten, and we are very happy about you moving in Mark" Richard said saying goodbye to the three of them.

"Thank you for my kitten Nana and Poppy, I love her very much" Matilda said hugging bother her grandparents before returning to playing with the little white ball of fur.

"Have you thought of a name baby?" Meredith asked as she and Mark returned from seeing her parents off.

"Yes" Matilda said excitedly. "I'm going to call her Snow White" she said firmly.

"Well welcome to the family Snow White" Meredith said petting the small kitten.


	36. January 10

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX: JANUARY 10**

"Matilda seriously I needed you ready 10 minutes ago" Meredith stressed at her young daughter. "Mommy needs to be at work, Daddy already left and you need to be at day care so hurry up" Meredith continued at Matilda.

She had slept in later than usual and now she was already late for her surgery she had scheduled.

"All ready" Matilda announced slipping on her shoes waiting for Meredith to pick her up and carry her to the car.

"Tilly we've talked about this Mommy can't carry you anymore, the baby doesn't like it" Meredith groaned at the small girl as she began to sob. She couldn't believe the way she was acting, today of all days.

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"Meredith how many times have I told you, you shouldn't be carrying her" Mark scolded as soon as he saw Meredith hurrying to the elevator he was waiting for.

"Yeah well if I waited any longer for her to get out of the damn car I would be even more late for my surgery" Meredith snapped at him.

"Woah what's going on?" Mark asked concerned over his wife's bad temper.

"She is just being difficult this morning, if you want to make yourself useful take her up to day care, I have surgery" Meredith said firmly passing her daughter to Mark before rushing off in the other direction.

"Wow what's got you in a mood?" Cristina asked as Meredith stormed into the locker room quickly undressing and changing into her scrubs.

"I'm half an hour late for a surgery, my daughter decided this morning would be a great morning to piss me off and my stupid husband failed to remember that its our anniversary" Meredith cried as she sat down to tie her shoes.

"Okay I didn't exactly have anything planned after my question. But wow anniversary as in you were married this day 5 years ago?" Cristina clarified shocked.

"Yes that's generally what an anniversary is" Meredith exclaimed. "Happy freaking anniversary to me" she continued slamming her locker closed.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Cristina asked, her blood pressure had to be up which wouldn't be good for the baby. She had planned to ask Meredith when she was free to go pick dresses for the wedding but it was obvious this wasn't the right time.

"I'm fine, now I need to go apologise for my lateness and find a way to get back in on my surgery" Meredith said firmly before exiting the locker room in search of the chief.

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"So everything is still good for tonight?" Mark asked Derek as they stood waiting for their coffee.

"Yeah definitely she is going to love this Mark, I must say it's very surprising of you" Derek said to his brother.

"Yeah well I need to go all out this year, dinner at a fancy restaurant and flowers isn't going to cut it this year" Mark confessed. "I guess this is me making up what I did a little more" he continued.

"I don't think there is much more making up to be done, she let you move into the house" Derek pointed out.

"Yeah and there is the point she thinks I've forgotten. She is going to be a nightmare to everyone today, between this and pregnancy hormones" Mark laughed.

"Right so I should avoid Meredith today" Derek asked with a grin.

"I got to go" Mark said looking at his pager. "Thanks for doing this man, so I'll get Addie to invite Mer to dinner, we can go and leave Tilly with you guys" Mark said going over the plan one more time.

"Okay see ya" Derek called after him.

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"Hi Mer, mind if I join you?" Addison asked eyeing Meredith sitting alone in the cafeteria. This would be the perfect opportunity to ask her about dinner. Mark had insisted that this be perfect.

"No go ahead, but I'm warning you I'm not the best of company today" Meredith said softly poking around at her salad. Mark had insisted on her eating healthy.

"Oh baby giving you trouble" Addison asked casually.

"Nope husband" Meredith said finally spearing a tomato and putting it in her mouth.

"Is everything okay? I was hoping the two of you would come for dinner tonight and Matilda too of course" Addison said trying not to blow everything.

"Yeah it's fine, we would love to come, it's not like we had any other plans tonight" Meredith grumbled.

"Great, wait why would you have plans tonight?" Addison asked trying to keep it casual but on the inside she was smiling at how perfect this was working out.

"No reason, just my wedding anniversary, after everything that ass has put me through a simple happy anniversary Meredith could have worked but no the ass forgot" Meredith screeched.

"Oh Mer I'm so sorry, well you know maybe you should give dinner a miss" Addison suggested. She knew Meredith wouldn't say no but she needed this to be authentic.

"No we'll be there, we may as well pretend it's just another day" Meredith said sadly looking at her beeping pager. "I got to go it's my post op patient, see ya later" Meredith called out as she hurried off.

After checking that her patient was okay she slowly made her way up to Mark's office. She may as well face him to tell him about the dinner plans she had made. She couldn't believe he had forgotten. January 10 had been the best day of her life when she stood there in her gorgeous white dress, her hair curled up at the back of her head. He had stood there so handsome in his tuxedo. Everyone important had been there. Richard had even walked her down the aisle. And the one day they had to officially celebrate their union, he had forgotten.

"Hey you feeling better?" Mark asked as she entered in his office shaking her thoughts away.

"Ah yeah sure whatever, Addie invited us to dinner tonight so be there" Meredith said slightly snappy.

"Um okay, anything in particular?" he asked waiting for her to bite, he had been surprised she had waited this long to rip into him.

"Nope just dinner, why would there be anything?" she asked. She figured two could play that game.

"No reason" he said reaching out to touch her.

"Just dinner tonight, that's all" she said pulling away and rushing off. She couldn't deal with it any longer.


	37. Eternity and Beyond

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN: ETERNITY AND BEYOND **

"Hey, are you ready to come home, I want to change before we go to Addie's?" Meredith said standing in Mark's office looking down at her shoes, she didn't have the heart to look him in the eye.

"Actually I have a couple of things to take care of so is it okay if I meet you there?" he asked hoping not to make her mood any worse. He had been feeling terrible all day for making her feel like he had forgotten but the element of surprise was essential for this to work.

"Yeah sure whatever, I guess I will see you there" she said fighting the urge to kick his ass. She turned and walked out not even bothering to say goodbye.

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Meredith looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. Despite the fact she was very much showing her pregnancy now she couldn't help thinking she look great in the tight black dress she had decided to wear. Addison had given her the idea of dressing to kill to try and make Mark remember what the day was.

"Are you ready baby?" Meredith asked Matilda as she walked into her room where Matilda sat playing with her toys while waiting for Meredith to get ready.

"Yes" she said looking up her eyes widening. "You look pretty Mommy" the small girl complimented her mother.

"Thank you sweetie, we better get going Uncle Derek and Aunty Addison are waiting for us" Meredith said taking her daughter's hand and her bag.

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Meredith sat patiently waiting for Mark to arrive he was late and she was starving, and everyone knew it by the noises her stomach was making.

"Mer, are you sure you don't want to eat?" Addison asked, she knew what it was like to wait for her husband, but Meredith was eating for two. Even Addison was beginning to wonder what was taking so long.

Before Meredith could decline the offer the doorbell rang.

"Mer can you grab that? I need to check on things in the kitchen" Addison said quickly dashing to the kitchen to hide her grin.

Meredith had no choice with Addison taking off and Derek preoccupied with playing horses with Matilda. Meredith opened the door, gasping with surprise with the image she saw. Before her stood Mark in a tuxedo holding a bunch of red roses for her.

"I thought you forgot" Meredith said tears welling in her eyes. "You ass you made me think you forgot" Meredith said hitting him in the arm with her fist.

"That was kind of the idea, but if you want your surprise I suggest you stop hitting me, unless you like it like that these days" Mark said with a smirk. 'Go get your bag and coat, say goodbye to Tilly, we are going somewhere" he said with a smile.

"Okay, you planned this?" Meredith asked carefully.

Mark nodded and ushered for her to go do as she was told.

"I am going to totally kill all of you" Meredith yelled as she walked into the lounge room slowly bending down to kiss her daughter. "Bye bye sweetie Mommy is going with Daddy now apparently so I guess you are staying here" Meredith said looking up at Addison who nodded her confirmation.

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"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" Meredith asked for the millionth time. She never was one to like surprises.

"No, and if you keep asking I might just leave you on the side of the road" Mark joked taking one of his hand's off the wheel to rub his wife's leg.

"You wouldn't. And it's just we've been driving for a while" Meredith rambled, they were only 20 minutes out of the city but it had felt like forever.

"Technically I am driving" Mark said pulling up to a log cabin in the middle of nowhere.

"Not anymore" Meredith said with a smile. "Where are we?" she asked looking around not recognising the place.

"We are at Derek and Addison's cabin on the land, they've just finished building it, Derek helped me with all this" Mark said honestly. "Come on let's go inside" Mark said jumping out of the car and going around to Meredith's side to help her out.

Mark edged the door open slowly waiting for Meredith's reaction. She gasped as she took it all in. There candles lit everywhere and rose petals spread all over the floor.

"Addison would kill you for this mess" Meredith squeaked, she needed to say anything.

"I do this incredibly romantic thing for you and you're worried about Addison" Mark smirked as he wrapped his arms around his wife.

"Well yes, no, definitely not" Meredith said before tears welled in her eyes again.

"Hey don't cry, there is nothing to cry about" Mark said wiping the tears away gently with his thumb. "I love you" he whispered. "Happy 5th anniversary baby, and I'm sorry for everything."

"I love you too, more than anything, I was so mad at you today you ass" she said with a smile. "But this, this is unbelievable Mark, you did all of this for me" she said hugging him tightly.

"When are you going to realise I would do anything for you, it's me and you Mer until the end, I screwed up so badly and I know we promised not to talk about it, this is the last time I swear so I am going to say sorry just one more time" Mark said kneeling down to the ground opening a small red velvet box.

"Mark baby I hate to ruin your moment but we already got married, ah 5 years ago" Meredith said with a small smile.

"I know, this ring is an eternity ring" Mark said opening the box to reveal a gorgeous white gold diamond ring to match the other two she already wore. "This is my promise to you that we are going to be together for eternity and beyond" he said sliding the ring on to fit perfectly with her others.

"It's beautiful" she gasped as Mark got up now standing right in front of she grabbed him and kissed him passionately. "For eternity" he whispered in her ear. In that moment Meredith's stomach rumbled loudly.

"I hate to ruin the moment again honey but is there food?" she asked causing them both to laugh hysterically as Mark led her to the kitchen.


	38. Everything Doesn't Always Go To Plan

Because u guys are all soo awesome i am posting 2 chapters at once from here on in. There are only about 7 chapters left so i hope you guys keep enjoying it. Keep and eye out for 2 new stories that i will be posting soon. Dani xx

**CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT: EVERYTHING DOESN'T ALWAYS GO TO PLAN**

"Dinner was great" Meredith complimented as the pair relaxed in a nice hot bath. Meredith leant back against Mark's chest as he washed her back with a cloth. She couldn't believe how perfectly relaxed she felt being there in his arms. It felt like nothing had ever gone wrong between them. There had been moments in her life where she had thought she would never have the fairytale moment, but right then and there she could have sworn she was having one.

"That's okay, what are you thinking about?" Mark asked noticing how quiet his wife had gone as she relaxed into him.

"It's nothing" Meredith said softly watching the concerned look come over Mark's face. "Well I was thinking about something, I was just thinking how perfect all this is" Meredith said her eyes watering with tears once again.

"Aww baby I know but you really don't have to cry about this, you're happy, which makes me happy" he said moving her hair away from her neck and proceeding to kiss and suck at her neck.

"You think I wanna be a blubbering mess, it's these damn hormones" Meredith screeched at him.

"I know Mer, but just think in 9 weeks we will be holding another perfect baby and truthfully I can't wait" Mark said with a cheesy grin plastered on his face.

"Yeah me either, I had really given up on the idea of another baby but then I realised my period was late so I took the test and there it was. I had never been so happy in my life to see that tiny little pink plus sign" Meredith spoke. "I just wanted it to be the way we had talked about but I guess we prove that not everything always goes to plan" she continued as Mark hugged her tightly from behind.

"I just wish I hadn't been so stupid" Mark said softly he hadn't meant to bring it up again, they had promised it was in the past now.

"But in a way things worked out for the best, moving to Seattle has been the best thing, Matilda is happy to have Mom and Dad to dote on her, Addie and Derek adore her and even Cristina has taken a shining to Tilly, and she doesn't like kids… at all" Meredith rambled continually.

"What about you though? Are you happier here?" Mark asked noticing that she had only mentioned what had been best for their daughter.

"I wasn't for a long time, I put myself in a deep hole and I didn't want to get out, there was one stage where Addison thought I was hurting the baby, but then you showed up and although that was hard I am so glad that you found me" Meredith said with pure honest.

"I was miserable in New York without you, I worked a lot, I basically lived at the hospital because going back to that empty house knowing that you and Muffin weren't going to be there killed me, I just couldn't do it, I need you like a person needs oxygen" Mark said sincerely.

"I know. I think it might be time to got to bed, I am so tired Mark" Meredith said with a yawn as to prove her point.

"I agree, and the water is getting cold so you better get out" Mark said getting out of the bath and wrapping a towel around himself then proceeded to wrap Meredith up in a towel as she emerged from the water.

"Thank you for making this is a special anniversary, I should have known better than to think you had really forgotten" Meredith said as she snuggled against Mark getting warm in bed.

"I'm glad that you liked the surprise baby, I just wanted this to be special, soon we are going to have another child and we won't get time to do things like this but that is something I can't wait for" he said kissing her on the forehead before he wrapped his arms around her pulling her close to him as they slept.

Meredith awoke slowly after only a few hours of being asleep. Glancing at the clock beside her she could see that it was just going on for 2am. She rubbed her stomach hoping the feeling she was having would subside. She bolted upright and squealed as a sharp pain ripped through her abdomen.

Mark jolted awake hearing Meredith's squeal of pain. "Mer what's wrong is it the baby?" he asked quickly concerned for the welfare of both is unborn child and wife.

"Yeah, I think it's just Braxton's or the baby is moving around" Meredith said trying to remain calm.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" Mark asked cautiously not wanting to set off her hormones but he felt as though something wasn't quite right.

"No I'm not sure" Meredith said beginning to cry from the pain. "Oh god" she suddenly exclaimed.

"Meredith what's going on?" Mark said scared out of his mind.

"Mark we need to go right now, we need to go to the hospital I'm bleeding" she said jumping out of bed grabbing her robe and a towel.

"Okay quick let's go, I will page Addie to meet us at the hospital just hang in there okay" Mark ordered trying to stay calm and pretend he wasn't scared at the possibility they could be losing their baby.

"Oh god Mark, not the baby, I can't lose my baby" she cried as they sped along as fast as they could making sure they got to the hospital on time.


	39. Bed Rest

**CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE: BED REST **

"Der answer your pager" Addison groaned reaching up for a pillow to put over her head to block out the constant beeping.

"Addie, it's yours, not mine" Derek grunted sitting up switching on the lamp on his side of the bed. He looked at the time and groaned. 2.30 am, and he had to be up at 5 for an early surgery.

"Who is paging me at this hour?" Addison asked more to herself as she examined the number.

"That's Mark" Derek said looking at the number.

"Shit, it must be Meredith, I have to go Der, take care of Tilly okay" Addison exclaimed jumping out of bed hurrying to find some clothes and brushing her hair to make herself look partly presentable.

"Okay, well call me" Derek said as Addison placed a quick kiss on his lips before running out the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Oh god Mark it hurts" Meredith cried as they pulled up at Seattle Grace. Mark raced out of the car and around to Meredith's side picking her up to carry her inside.

"Someone get me a gurney" Mark shouted to the nurses as he rushed around. Just as he had Meredith lying down Addison appeared.

"Mark what happened?" Addison asked running up to them.

"She is having pains and she is bleeding, it's not a lot of blood but enough to be concerning" Mark said watching as Meredith cried out in pain.

"It's okay Mer, Addison is going to take care of you, I'm right here" Mark said soothing his wife as they made their way up to the OB floor.

"Mark I need you to wait out here" Addison said as she wheeled Meredith into an examination room. "It's for the best, go get some coffee and calm down" Addison instructed him.

Mark waited for what seemed like hours before Addison emerged from the room.

"What's happening? Is she okay?" Mark bombarded her as soon as she appeared. You could tell from his dishevelled appearance that he was worried out of his mind.

"The placenta has moved away from the wall of her uterus which has caused the bleeding. At this stage the baby is fine" Addison told him.

"What does that mean Addie?" Mark asked still none the wiser to his wife's condition it had been a long time since his OB/GYN rotation.

"It means for that baby to stay fine and Meredith to be okay I need to take them to surgery, it's the best chance at saving the baby Mark so I need your consent" Addison said seriously. Her heart broke for her friends but she had to be professional. It was the hardest part about being close to her patient.

"Yeah do whatever you have to do for them to alright Addie, I trust you" Mark said before slumping back into his chair. He watched as Meredith was wheeled off to the OR. He couldn't believe this was happening, when everything had been so perfect.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Mark where is she? We got your call" Ellis said running toward Mark distraught at the idea of her daughter and future grandchild being hurt.

"She is still in surgery, no-one will tell me what is going on, I can't lose her" Mark cried to his mother in law.

"This is where being chief is helpful" Richard said. He was about to go in search of answers when Addison appeared.

"Addison how is she?" Mark said jumping out of his seat.

Addison took a deep breath before answering which concerned Mark. "She is stable, she lost a lot of blood but she will be just fine" Addison responded.

"And the baby?" Ellis asked carefully not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"The baby was under some distress but is also stable at this point, surgery is incredibly disruptive for a baby especially as developed as Meredith's pregnancy is. The next 24 hours are crucial so we will be monitoring them both very carefully" Addison answered.

"Can I see her?" Mark asked wanting more than anything to see for himself that his wife was indeed alright.

"Yes one at a time guys, she is still drowsy from the anaesthesia. I will be in to talk to her soon" Addison warned them before heading for the coffee cart and to call her husband. It had been one long night.

"Hey you" Mark said softly making his way over to where Meredith lay in the bed. Her eyes were open but she didn't seem to be that aware. "You gave me a scare" he said kissing her on the forehead.

"What happened?" she asked softly not remembering what had occurred.

"There was problem with the baby, Addison had to take you to surgery" Mark told her squeezing her hand.

"Is the baby okay?" she asked fearfully not forgiving herself if she had let her baby be harmed in any way.

"Yeah he is okay" Mark said.

"You said he, are you finally giving up there?" Meredith said with a small smile.

"Perhaps I'm just coming around to the idea that it wouldn't be so bad to have another man around the house" Mark said with a smirk.

"Trust you" Meredith said gripping on to his hand. "I love you" Meredith announced out of nowhere.

"I love you too, I was so worried about you, don't ever do that again" Mark said seriously bending down and softly kissing Meredith on the lips.

"Hey Mer, how are you feeling?" Addison interrupted entering the room.

"I been better" Meredith responded. "Is everything alright?" Meredith asked as she watched Addison check the machines she was hooked up to.

"It all looks fine" Addison responded with a smile. "Now I am sure I don't have to go through the post op rules with you. I want to keep you here for the next few days to make sure the baby is okay. And then when you go home bed rest until that baby is born" Addison told her friend at patient. She watched as Meredith's face dropped at the mention of bed rest and she knew this wasn't going to end well.


	40. First Day

**CHAPTER FORTY: FIRST DAY**

"Meredith seriously do you not know the meaning of the word bed rest" Mark exclaimed at his wife as he noticed her down in the kitchen packing Matilda's bag.

"I want to go with you, Mark it's her first day of pre school and I want to be there" Meredith said firmly not taking no for an answer.

"Meredith no, it's too dangerous as it is you have been pushing it" Mark warned her. He was beginning to get frustrated with her. It had been two weeks since the surgery and she was doing far more than she was supposed to. He was beginning to think it was impossible for her to stay in bed.

"Mer she will be fine, I will take her to Pre School and Addie and Derek are down as emergency contacts. Everything is fine, now back to bed now" he said following her to make sure she actually went. He smiled to himself as she got back into bed muttering at him. It reminded him of how feisty she had been when they had first gotten together.

Meredith smiled as Matilda appeared in her room almost a half hour later ready for her first day at the proper pre school she had been enrolled in. It was a great pre school, the fees were rather expensive but her and Mark had agreed that she deserved to go to the best. She was already smart but this school would prepare her for "big" school the following year.

"Are you already to go baby?" Meredith asked as Matilda climbed up onto the bed.

"Yes" she said with a firm nod. "Are you coming Mommy?" she asked softly.

"No baby, I'm not remember I'm supposed to stay in bed and Daddy is being mean and won't let me come" Meredith said playing around with her daughter.

"Well Daddy is a meanie" she said firmly. Mark laughed as he appeared in the doorway.

"Say goodbye to Mommy Muffin it's time to go" Mark told her.

"I want Mommy to come" Matilda whined to her father hoping it would allow her to get her own way.

"Mommy can't come so say goodbye. Remember we don't want to hurt the baby" he told her approaching the bed where she sat not moving, pouting at not getting her own way.

"Mommy used to walk around and it didn't hurt the baby" Matilda said smartly hoping it would help her argument.

"Yes that was before the baby was sick, come on Tilly if we don't go now we will be late and you don't want to be late on your first day" Mark told her picking her up off the bed.

"Bye bye Mommy I love you" she said as Mark dipped her down to let Meredith kiss her.

"Bye baby have fun" Meredith said.

"I will see you later, and Meredith seriously stay in bed" Mark exaggerated at his wife hoping he would get through to her this time.

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"Hi I'm Mark Sloan it's my daughter's first day" Mark said to the lady at the front office. Pre School had officially started a week ago but with Meredith being in hospital they decided it would be easier for her to start the following week when everything had settled.

"Ah you must be Matilda" the lady said to the little girl who had her face hidden in her father's chest.

"She usually isn't so shy but once she is settled she should be fine" Mark told her.

"That's fine, we have all the emergency details that are needed, it must be difficult being a single father" the woman said genuinely.

"I'm not a single father' Mark said slightly annoyed at the woman.

"Oh I'm sorry it's just I didn't see a mother's name down as a contact" the woman apologised profusely.

"My wife isn't down as a contact yet because she is 29 weeks pregnant and on bed rest. If you were to call her she would be down here in an instant so it is best she is not put on that list just yet" Mark explained annoyed at the nosiness of this woman. "Now can you tell me where she needs to be, I'm going to be late for work" he snapped.

"Yes of course down the hall and to the right" the woman said now extremely nervous.

"Ah hello, you must be Mr Sloan, and this must be Matilda I have been expecting you" a short older woman announced as Mark appeared in the doorway. "I'm Mrs Holden, or Laura" she said introducing herself.

"Call me Mark" he responded setting Matilda down on the ground, she clung to his leg not wanting to let go. "My wife Meredith called with all her details so everything should be set, I hate to be rude but I really have to get going" he said kindly.

"Of course you do, Matilda will be just fine and if we have any problems we will call" she said taking Matilda's hand.

Mark bent down to Matilda's level and wrapped his arms around the small child.

"Daddy loves you muffin, you have fun okay and Aunt Addie is going to pick you up later" he said pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Don't cry" he said noticing the tears welling in her green eyes. "Mrs Holden is going to take good care of you" he soothed her.

"I have it from here" Laura said kindly. "Come on Matilda let's find you're seat" she said leading the little girl into the room as she waved goodbye to her Daddy.

Mark walked down the hallway pulling out his cell phone. It was time to call Meredith and tell her how it went. She had been adamant on him calling since she couldn't go with him. He took a deep breath before dialling the number, he knew she would be worried to how upset Matilda had gotten but as much as he also hated it Matilda had to do this.


	41. Small Request

**CHAPTER FORTY-ONE: SMALL REQUEST**

"Mer we're home" Addison called out to Meredith as she let herself into the house carrying a very tired Matilda. She was exhausted from her first day at Pre School.

"Mommy will be in bed, Daddy said he would be very mad if she wasn't" Matilda told her Aunt as they headed up the stairs.

"Well that's good because it was my orders that she stay in bed" Addison told the small girl.

"Is the baby still going to be my little brother or sister?" Matilda asked her Aunt quietly. She had been worried about how sick her Mommy really was.

"Of course it is sweetheart, when that baby is born you are going to be the best big sister" Addison said giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Okay" she replied settling her head back against Addison's shoulder.

"Meredith, are you awake?" Addison asked as she pushed the bedroom door open. She smiled as she saw Meredith curled up on the bed, Snow White, Matilda's kitten curled up with her.

"Mommy, wake up" Matilda said as she jumped onto the bed.

"Hey gorgeous you're home" Meredith said opening her eyes to meet the smiling face of her daughter. "Did you have a good day?" she asked sitting up resting her head on her swollen stomach.

"Yes Mrs Holden let's us do lots of fun stuff, and she read us a story and we got to play with play doh and I painted you this" she said holding up a piece of paper.

"Oh this great sweetie, who are these people?" she asked pointing to the people in the picture.

"That's me, you, Daddy and the baby" she said proudly with a huge grin.

"Well the baby is going to be a lot smaller than that when it gets here" Meredith told her daughter.

"How are you feeling?" Addison asked Meredith smiling at the moment between the mother and daughter. It was times like this that hurt her the most about not being able to have a family of her own.

"I feel fine today, a few good kicks but we are fine" she said rubbing her stomach. "I actually stayed in bed today" she said with a sly smile.

"Yes Matilda informed me that Mark had put his foot down about you being out of bed" Addison said with a laugh.

"I have a small request from my doctor though" Meredith said hoping that Addison would give her the response that she wanted.

"Okay what is it?" Addison asked waiting for what request she had this time.

"As you know Cristina's wedding is in 2 weeks, and she has her dress, but as the maid of honour I don't have mine yet because we were waiting until it got closer so we would know whether it will fit" Meredith rambled.

"None of that was a request" Addison joked at her friend.

"Yes well the request is that I get out of bed to go dress shopping tomorrow, it will only be for a few hours and I will take it easy I promise" Meredith begged.

'I thought you weren't going to be her maid of honour anymore since everything happened, I thought Izzie was taking over" Addison said considering whether it would be safe.

"Cristina begged me, Izzie is too over the top" Meredith said. "Come on Addie please, if it makes you feel better you can come to check up on me" Meredith suggested.

"Fine, but I am coming I will clear my schedule for tomorrow, and you have to tell Mark, I am not getting into trouble from him because you decided it was best he wasn't told" Addison said seriously.

"Fine I will tell him, but it's your fault if he makes a big deal out of this" Meredith warned.

"Mommy did Snow sleep here with you all day" Matilda asked Meredith looking up at her with her sparkling green eyes.

"She did maybe you should take her to play since she has been very lazy today" Meredith suggested watching Matilda take off with the kitten in her arms.

"Well I better get going, I have to check back at the hospital then I am going to head home, will you be right with her until Mark gets home?" Addison asked.

"Yeah she is happy to play with the kitten, can you grab her a snack out of the fridge before you go, there should be some cheese and crackers made up for her, I asked Mark to do it this morning, and there are poppas in there for her too" Meredith said settling back into bed.

"Okay no problem, when will Mark be home?" she asked as she prepared to leave.

"He should be home in the next hour, if I need anything I will call" Meredith said ushering for her to leave.

"Okay then bye" Addison said before heading down to tend to Matilda before heading home.

"Tilly come have something to eat and drink before I go, remember Mommy is upstairs if you need her, and you don't open the door to anyone unless you know them, ask first. Don't go outside because there is no-one to watch you, Daddy will be home soon, but if you need something go up and see Mommy and she can call me okay" Addison said to the little girl as she sat her in front of the TV and put on her Snow White movie.

"Okay Aunt Addie, bye" Matilda said giving her Aunt a kiss before she left.


	42. Staying Here

**CHAPTER FORTY-TWO: STAYING HERE**

"Mer look at this one" Addison said excitedly as she found another dress that would suit Meredith.

"Addison you are kidding right, there is no way that is going to fit, this is useless they don't have anything to fit a whale" Meredith cried. "You should have just let Izzie do it, she would look great in anything" Meredith continued.

"Meredith you are doing this and they will have something to fit" Cristina said frantically searching through the dress rack.

"What about this one?" Cristina asked holding up a red dress.

"I am so no wearing red, it's a terrible colour" Meredith huffed from where Addison had made her sit.

"Meredith stop being so difficult I am getting married in two weeks, I don't have time or the nerves for this so pick a damn colour" Cristina exclaimed frustrated.

"Black, it's slimming and black is just its not difficult" Meredith said with a sigh. She was exhausted from the shopping, they had already been at it for 3 hours and she had promised both Mark and Addison that she shouldn't over do this.

"Okay so black it is" Cristina exclaimed going back to her search for a dress.

Meredith closed her eyes for a moment but jerked them open when her cell phone rang.

"Hello calling to check up on me?" she asked.

"Yes I just want to make sure you are okay, is everything okay?" Mark asked. He had wanted to call for the past 2 hours but Derek had warned him that she would be angry if he kept checking in.

"I'm so tired" Meredith admitted. "I'm not over doing it I promise, I am sitting down, Addie is making sure of it" she added so he wouldn't worry.

"Okay how much longer do you think it will take?" he asked concerned he wanted her back home in bed as soon as possible. He was worried sick about her.

"Hopefully not long now, we have found a few styles that are nice they are just checking to see if it comes in whale size" Meredith said.

"You are not a whale you are gorgeous" Mark told her for the hundredth time.

"Aww you have to say that because you married me" Meredith said watching Cristina give her the evil eye at the sappiness of the conversation. "I have to go baby, Cristina is giving me funny looks, I will call you when I get home" Meredith told him.

"Okay babe, I love you" he said.

"I love you too" she said before flipping the phone shut.

"Okay can I stop gagging now?" Cristina said sarcastically.

"Oh stop it Cristina, I think it's sweet" Addison added.

"Ladies I have been able to obtain this dress in the size you were looking for" the saleswoman announced holding up the black dress.

"Thank god" Meredith exclaimed yawning. "Can we go now?" she asked the other two women.

"Yeah we can go now, I have to be at the hospital in an hour anyway" Cristina said.

"It's almost time for me to pick up Tilly do you want me to take you home first?" Addison asked Meredith who paid for the dress using Mark's credit card.

"Actually I want to come, I want to see my little girl at her school" Meredith replied with a smile.

"Okay let's get going, I will see you later Cris" Meredith said saying goodbye to her friend before following Addison to the car.

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"Mommy" Matilda squealed happily racing to her mother. "You're out of bed, did Daddy say you could be out of bed?" she bossed to her mother.

"Yes Daddy knows I am out of bed" Meredith said laughing at her daughter's boldness.

"Mrs Sloan it's nice to finally meet you" an older woman greeted Meredith. She guessed she must have been Tilly's teacher.

"You must be Laura, Tilly's teacher, please call me Meredith" she replied politely.

"Your husband mentioned that you wouldn't be seeing us here for a few more weeks yet, has your condition changed?" she asked kindly.

"Oh no, technically I'm not supposed to be here, but I was already out so I figured we may as well drop by and get Matilda" Meredith explained. "We better get going baby, Mommy should have been home ages ago" Meredith told her daughter taking her hand. "It was lovely to meet you Laura" she continued before heading off.

"Daddy is going to be mad at you, for being out all day" Matilda said as they walked in the door.

"Meredith, where the hell have you been?" Mark exclaimed as they walked in the door. "I thought you were going to be home over an hour ago" he ranted.

"We were already out so we figured we would pick Tilly up, and then I took her for a treat, I'm fine Mark" Meredith argued.

"That's not the point, and Addison you should have known better, you were the one who ordered her to rest, she has been out all day" Mark continued his rant.

"I'm sorry Mark but she is persuasive, she is fine, if she wasn't she would have said and I would have brought her straight home" Addison fired back at him.

"I'm sorry baby" Mark said pulling Meredith to him for a hug. "I was just so worried about you" Mark spoke softly to his wife kissing her hair.

"It's okay, I'm fine I promise, I'm pretty tired though so I am going to head upstairs and lay down" Meredith said kissing Mark softly on the lips. "I will see you later Addie" Meredith continued heading up the stairs.

"I'm sorry Add, but she is my everything, I couldn't imagine if I let something happen to her and that baby, surely you can understand my concern" Mark spoke to their friend.

"I do understand Mark" Addison said. "Which is why I recommend not letting her leave this house until the wedding, she over did it today she will deny it but I saw it on her face" Addison told him.

"Don't worry she will be staying right here" Mark said vowing to protect is wife and unborn child.


	43. Anything Is Possible

**CHAPTER FORTY-THREE: ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE **

"Are you all ready to go Muffin?" Mark asked his 4 year old daughter as she stood there in her flower girl dress. She had been so excited for the last week about the wedding and now it was finally here.

"Yes I am going to walk down the aisle and throw my flowers" Matilda said proudly to her father.

"Yes and you are going to be the most beautiful girl in the room" Mark said kissing her cheek causing her to giggle.

"Hey so does that mean I'm second?" Meredith asked coming down the stairs all dressed to go.

"What do you say about equal first?" he asked kissing her. "You look gorgeous" he said softly kissing her again.

"I think the bride is supposed to be the most beautiful woman there I hate to tell you" Meredith joked with him as she rubbed circles on her extremely swollen stomach.

"Is he kicking?" Mark asked placing his hand on her stomach. They had decided to find out the sex during a check up the previous week. It made it easier for finishing the nursery and picking names.

"Just a niggling pain, its fine, just Braxton's" Meredith told him as she fixed his tie.

"Are we already to go then?" he asked both his girls. Matilda put her arms up ready for Mark to carry her and Meredith just nodded with a smile.

"Cristina is probably a mess by now so I guess we better go" Meredith said with a giggle.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ah there's my handsome boy" a woman announced as she entered into the back of the church where Preston stood with Richard and Ellis.

"Mama I am so glad you could make it" he said kissing her on the cheek. He had thought of Richard and Adele as his parents but after Adele had passed he felt the need to find his birth parents. He and his birth mother Celeste had gotten along right from the start so they had stayed in touch.

"I wouldn't miss you getting married Preston, where is this lovely girl?" she asked.

"She should be here soon" he said as he saw Meredith, Mark and Matilda approaching them.

"Hey Preston, good luck, I am so happy for you" Meredith said giving her big brother a hug.

"Oh look who made it out of bed" he said laughing at her making her blush.

"Mama you remember Ellis' daughter Meredith" he said.

"Of course, oh look at you dear when are you due?" she asked rubbing Meredith's stomach.

"Not for another 5 weeks" Meredith answered as Matilda clung to her leg.

"Hello and who is this gorgeous little girl?" Celeste asked admitting Matilda.

"This is my 4 year old Matilda" Meredith answered.

"Say hello Muffin" Mark said picking her up. "Hi I'm Meredith's husband Mark" he said introducing himself.

"Lovely to meet you all" Celeste said kindly.

Everyone turned and looked as the car containing the bride pulled up.

"I guess this my cue to leave" Preston said making his way inside the church.

"I will see you later, be careful" Mark said giving Meredith a kiss before she had Matilda made their way over to meet Cristina.

"You look amazing" Meredith complimented Cristina as she and Izzie got out of the car. Izzie had done all the usual wedding day events with Cristina since Meredith was unable to but technically she was still the maid of honour.

"Thanks, you don't look too bad either for a whale" she joked as they entered the church.

"Gee thanks Cris, way to boost my self esteem" Meredith snapped at her.

"You look very pretty" Izzie said to Meredith as she took Matilda's hand. "And you look like a little princess" she said to Matilda who smiled at her.

"Oh god what am I doing? Meredith what the hell am I doing?" Cristina exclaimed starting to breathe heavily. "I can't do this, I can't be that woman" she continued struggling to breathe.

"Cristina listen to me, Preston loves you, and you love him, we talked about this, I know you are afraid but you can do this, love is enough" Meredith convinced her friend that she could indeed go through with this.

"Of course I can do this, I am Cristina Yang, soon to be Burke" she said firmly as she fixed her hair and make up.

"Okay Tilly it's time to go ahead and throw your flowers" Izzie said as the music began to play.

Izzie and Meredith followed in behind her. Mark winked at Meredith as she walked past him slowly causing her to smile to herself.

Everyone stood as the music changed and Cristina appeared at the back of the church. She had decided against having someone walk her down the aisle even though her Mother's latest husband was more than happy to oblige.

She had never considered herself one of those girls who would cry on their wedding day. But there she was gliding down the aisle, tears threatening to spill out of her chocolate eyes. She couldn't be happier in that moment. She had had her doubts but as she got to the end and Preston took her hands in his nothing had ever felt more right.

"Dearly beloveds we are gather here today to witness the union between Preston Xavier Burke and Cristina Ellen Yang with God as our witness" the priest spoke as Cristina and Burke stared deeply into each other's eyes. For those that didn't believe in fairy tales in that moment anything was possible.


	44. Happiest Man Alive

**CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR: HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE **

"Hello sweetheart how are you feeling?" Ellis asked as she sat down beside her daughter at the reception. Preston and Cristina were happily dancing stealing loving glances at each other as they were each passed to a different dancing partner.

"I'm okay a little tired, it's the first time I have left the house in 2 weeks besides my appointment of course" Meredith said with a smile knowing it was only a matter of time before Ellis brought up the sex of the baby.

"Your still not going to tell us are you?" she asked with a sly smile.

"Not a chance" Meredith said as she rubbed her stomach again, she had been having pains all day, each one getting a little worse.

"Are you sure everything is fine? You've been massaging that stomach of yours a lot today" Ellis said to her daughter.

"Yeah just Braxton's are bad today, I've been having them pretty bad for the last week but its fine" Meredith said.

"What's fine?" Mark asked appearing beside her.

"Nothing for you to worry about" she said kissing him on the lips. "Now do I get a dance or am I banished to sit here all night" she said with a pout.

"I guess a spin around the dance floor wouldn't hurt" he said taking her hand and helping her up. Meredith smiled as they danced slowly to the music. She laughed as she saw Derek holding Matilda spinning her round and round as he danced with her.

"Thanks Der, spin her around make her nice and dizzy so I have to sit up holding her hair back" Meredith joked with him.

"No problem Mer" he said with a grin as he walked over to them.

"Can I have a dance?" he asked Meredith extending his hand to her.

"Ask the boss" she said with a grin. "I have to get permission to do everything these days" she teased Mark.

"I guess I can spare her for a few minutes but I want her back" he said picking Matilda up and dancing with her.

"So how are you really?" Derek asked giving her a look. "And don't even try lying I know you better than that" he continued.

"Fine I am in hell, these pains are really starting to hurt" Meredith admitted as she danced slowly with her brother in law.

"Hurting as bad as contractions?" he asked carefully knowing that it could cause Meredith to snap at him.

Meredith's answer came from her scream of pain. "Now that was a contraction" she whispered to Derek as Mark came running over followed closely by Ellis, Richard and Preston.

"What's going on?" Mark asked as he out his arm around his wife to support her. "Do you need to sit down?" he said concerned.

"No I need to go to the hospital" Meredith replied gritting her teeth as another pain came. It was then that she realised she had been in labour all through the wedding and only just now noticing that her contractions were getting much closer.

"Why would you need to go to the hospital?" Preston asked concerned.

"Because my water just broke and I have been having contractions all day" Meredith screamed as another pain ripped through her.

"I'll get the car" Richard said hurrying off.

"I'm going to go get Addie, she went to the bathroom" Derek said racing off.

"Okay let's go, we're having a baby" Mark said keeping his arm around Meredith for support as Ellis grabbed Matilda. It was going to be a double celebration.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Well Meredith, you are 8cm dilated so it shouldn't be too long" Addison said smiling at her friend.

"Oh god, Addie it's too soon isn't it" Meredith cried at her friend as she clutched to Mark's hand as another contraction came. Her contractions were so close and Mark's hand was close to falling off. He couldn't remember her being in so much pain with Matilda.

"Everything will be fine Mer, the baby is fully developed, you know 5 weeks isn't that big of a deal" she eased her friend as she ran a cold washer over her face.

"Are you sure you don't want the spinal tap?" Addison asked. She hadn't been the one to deliver Matilda so she wasn't sure what her first birth had been like.

"I didn't have it with Tilly, just the gas" Meredith said as she breathed deeply.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Mer it's time to start pushing" Addison told her almost 2 hours later. It had taken some time for her to dilate completely. Everyone was waiting patiently in the waiting room, eager to receive news on the latest addition to the family.

Meredith screamed as she began pushing. "You're doing great Mer, we can do this" Mark said supporting her as he sat in behind her so she could push back on him. Her hands were tightly entwined with his.

"Oh god" she shrieked again as she pushed again.

"That's the head, another big push for the shoulders" Addison said as she held the baby's head in her hands.

After what seemed like forever the baby was out. "Is everything okay Addie?" Mark asked as the shrieks of the baby filled the room.

"We need to check everything out but it will be okay" she reassured them.

Meredith leant back against Mark absolutely exhausted. "You did good baby" he said kissing her on her sweaty forehead. "Our baby is going to be just fine" he told her.

An hour later Mark emerged from the hospital room into the waiting room holding the tiny bundle.

"Everyone I would like you to meet my son, Aiden Marcus Sloan" Mark said proudly as he passed the baby to Ellis who was now crying.

"Come here Muffin I want you to meet your little brother" he said picking his daughter up letting her peer down at the tiny baby.

"I love him already Daddy" she said placing a soft kiss on his little cheek.

"Me too Muffin, I love you all very much" he said tears streaming down his face. He couldn't help but feel like the happiest man alive.


	45. Love Is More Than Enough

Alrighty thank you so much to everyone for supporting me and my story. This is the final chapter of Love Is Enough, i hope you have all enjoyed the story. Dani xx

**CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE: LOVE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH**

Meredith smiled as she looked down in the crib at her sleeping son. He looked so peaceful sleeping away. He was already 2 weeks old and she couldn't believe how quickly the time had passed.

"You look just like your Daddy" she whispered to him. "I guess that is only fair since your big sister looks so much like Mommy. You are so beautiful" she continued talking to her son.

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness" a voice came from behind her.

"Preston, you're back, I didn't hear you come in" she said hugging her big brother. "How was the honeymoon, where's your wife?" she said with a smile.

"The honeymoon was great, and Cristina didn't want to see you since you stole her thunder at the wedding and all' he joked with her. "No she had to cut something so she is at the hospital whereas I wanted to come see my nephew, can I?" he asked as he bent down to pick up the infant.

"He's so tiny" he said softly as he stirred awake. "You are a very lucky little boy" he said kissed the baby softly on the forehead. Burke passed him over to Meredith as he began to fuss.

"I'm the lucky one" Meredith said rocking him back to sleep. "He is such a good baby, complete opposite to Matilda" she explained.

"Already such a man" Preston said with a laugh.

"Of course he is such a man, he is my son after all" Mark announced making his way into the room taking Aiden from Meredith and cradling him in his own arms.

"Mommy look what I got" Matilda exclaimed holding up a blue teddy bear.

"Another teddy seriously Mark, she has enough teddies" Meredith snapped frustrated with how much he spoilt their daughter.

"Mommy don't be mad, this one isn't for me, it's for Aiden" she said shyly.

"Oh I'm sorry sweetheart" Meredith said bending down and picker her daughter up. "Mommy is just tired because Aiden wakes up really early in the morning so Mommy has to feed him" she explained to her daughter as she snuggled in.

"I missed you being able to pick me up Mommy" Matilda said kissing her Mother on the cheek.

"Mommy missed being able to snuggle too" Meredith told her kissing her on the forehead.

"Did you have fun at school today?" Meredith asked her setting her back on the ground so she could put the teddy into Aiden's crib.

"It was okay" she said with a sigh. "We didn't do much though" she continued with a shrug.

"Well that doesn't sound like much fun" Meredith replied as Mark put Aiden who was now sound asleep back into his crib making sure he turned the monitor on taking the other one with him.

"I better get going" Preston said as they call headed out of the nursery to allow the baby to sleep. "I will see you at Dad's for dinner though" he continued looking at them as to ask whether they would be there.

"Yeah we will be there, we are leaving soon actually, Mom can't wait to see Aiden as usual" Meredith informed her brother as she saw him out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hello Nana" Matilda said as she made her way into her grandparents house, what's for dinner?" she asked.

"Hello darling" she said picking her up and giving her a kiss before sitting her on the bench like she always did when she was cooking. "I am making roast chicken and vegetables" Ellis told her.

"Smells good" Matilda said looking around at what her grandmother was doing.

"Where are Mommy and Daddy?" Ellis asked her.

"Mommy went straight upstairs to feed Aiden, he was cranky and hungry and Daddy is talking with Pop and Uncle Derek and Uncle Preston, where's Aunt Addie?" the little girl blabbered on.

"Aunt Addie had an emergency at the hospital she might come later" Ellis told her with a laugh at how talkative her granddaughter was being. She turned and saw Meredith make her way into the kitchen, her face lit up with delight at the sight of her grandson.

"Hi Mom, sorry to be rude, he was hungry" Meredith said passing her mother the baby.

"Its fine, he is getting so big already" Ellis noted.

"Yeah he is a healthy happy little boy though aren't you Aiden" Meredith cooed at the baby.

"Here you better take him back while I serve dinner up" Ellis told her giving her back the baby as much as she didn't want to.

After dinner had been eaten they all sat in the lounge room talking as they always did. Matilda happily played with her toys in the room which had been designated for her when she came to visit. Meredith had put Aiden to sleep upstairs away from the noise.

"So Mer are you enjoying diaper patrol again?" Cristina cracked at Meredith with a smirk.

"You just wait until you two have a baby" Meredith said. "It is the most fulfilling thing you could do" she continued with a smile as Mark wrapped his arms around her.

"We'll see Mer, the wedding was a long time coming I don't want to push my luck with a child" Preston said with a smirk earning an evil glare from Cristina.

"I want my career first" Cristina said firmly.

"You can do both, I did" Meredith reminded Cristina. "Just don't hire a nanny" she said with a laugh causing Mark to glare at her. "I was joking baby" Meredith told him kissing the tip of his nose.

"But seriously having support helps and I know that I couldn't have had another baby without all you guys not when you know I first came here" she told them all. "And you" she said turning to Mark. "I would never have forgiven myself if I kept you away from this baby" she said solemnly.

"So Mer, love really is enough" Cristina said recalling what her friend had told her during her freak out before the wedding.

"Love is more than enough" Meredith said looking into Mark's eyes before leaning in and softly capturing his lips with hers. She had finally realised that love was all you needed to make it through the dark.

**THE END**


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